November Community Update - BURN OUT (Patreon)

Hello everybody!
As always I'm here to bring you the monthly community update and as the title says I unfortunately have some bad news:

I am COMPLETELY burned out.

Over the past couple of weeks I worked on so many projects and put an enormous amount of posts out like never before...and I can feel it in my bones
First I thought social media was the main source of my stress, but by now I've realized that the main source of stress is coming from MYSELF.
I am stressing out about money. Every day.
ALL the time.
So much so that it has affected my art, how I think about it - "Will this sell well? Is this marketable enough? Is anybody even gonna care for what I'm making?", only to advertise my Patreon with zero reactions to things that in the past brought in the highest amount of new supporters every time.
And I've really destroyed my mental health over this the last week and I feel completely broken, frustrated and scared.
I can't keep doing this to myself, I need to STOP.
To stop worrying about money is incredibly hard but it is possible. I just need to re-learn how to do it and learn to have fun with my work again, blending all the worries about money OUT and stop worrying about my Patreon.
I am so scared of letting you all down.

But I think I underestimate just how much you all care about me and my well-being.
And I think I can trust in that you all want me to be okay and not stress out about posting as much as possible and keeping the server alive and active and the community happy
Because right now I just can't do that anymore. Not to the extend I did before.

In hindsight it's no surprise I'm burned out - I had only 6 days of vacation this year - 2 of those I spent all day touring places and cities, so it's safe to say I only had 4 days of an actual break.
I was planning on taking the last two weeks of December off for Christmas-break, but I think I need to take a break earlier than that.

Right now I'm a completely shaky adrenalin-ridden little mess covered in a blanket with calmative meds and I think I'll try to take a whole week off. I need to calm down. I need to learn how to relax again and find myself and what I really want to do - not because I feel like I have to do it or because I think it could sell well - REALLY figuring out what I TRULY want to work on.

This could take some time. I hope I'll figure it out soon, but I'll try not to stress about that either.
If I find some strength again, maybe I can queue some posts for here and my socials, but for now I'll lay down and just take a good rest. Maybe buy some cookies and drink hot cocoa.
Thank you guys for understanding, I love you all SO MUCH, I really do.
I was really hoping I wouldn't burn myself out again, I was doing SO WELL for a really really long time, but this year has been TOUGH and I sometimes I still find myself falling into old unhealthy patterns like this.

I'll do my best to stop being so hard on myself and really taking time and taking care of myself, as much and as long as I need it.
Thank you all so much for your support, I hope I can talk to you all soon again 💖
Love you guys! 💖💕💖
~Eleanor