not good news (Patreon)

Hate fucking drama but should do just notification for yall. Looks like it's end of prevous life for me and start of something else, or complete end. In few next days i will try to leave this country, but because new shit happend i have a chance not to fly anywhere and i will be taken on fucking war, but since im pacifist in general and not accepting any kind of military solutions and actions, even passives, so it will be only   one way for me, begone forever in jail as fucking traitor, or i anyway will be sent there as a gun meat.
After that "news" happend i don't even feel my self fine, like heart is going fucking insane, which is not good, but anyway, this is just notification which will not change anything for you all in general. If i will not post something in 2-4 next weeks so, u know what happend.
Wish me luck, I need it this time more than ever. This time, everything, like my life in general will depend only on it. I no longer have any confidence in anything, not in myself. not in tomorrow, not in people. im just empty now, i have 1 little light of hope, but it's just 1.

25.09.22 Update

I took a plane ticket on the first days of the month, but according to the dynamics by which the situation is developing, the likelihood that I will be detained somewhere along the way is very high. I need to go through 3 local airports, one in my region and a transfer in Moscow, which will take place at 2 different airports. Even until then, I still have to live, and not get a letter from the military, it's ike about 10 days, 10 days of excpeting worst scenario.