Brother and Sister (2022, Arnaud Desplechin) (Patreon)

24/100

"So I'm thinking of making my final project a Desplechin parody."
"That'll go over big."
"I honestly don't even give a shit at this point."
"But what would that even look like though?"
"You just make all the emotions irrational and overheated. I think I've settled on adult siblings who despise each other. Trying to come up with a funny reason why."
"Maybe, is it funnier if we don't even know why?"
"Ha! Like just full-on blister-pop vitriol that's never explained. Or, I dunno, Desplechin would probably hint at it. The brother writes novels—"
"Of course he does."
"—and probably an unpleasant character was based on his sister or something. But you're right, leave it ambiguous. And just start with the hatred already flowing, somebody died but all they can do is berate each other. So we're just like the fuck is happening here?"
"That's not funny, though. Opening with multiple tragedies that are just hostility fodder would be funny. One on top of another on top of another."
"And then they both have to go to the hospital and [collapses in helpless laughter]"
"What?"
"[more uncontrollable laughter]"
"That is one nutty hospital."
"...and, and, and, and, sorry, like she sees him at a distance in the hallway and she just faints. Upon sight. 'My despisèd brother!' CLONK."
"You should get Marion Cotillard for this."
"I mean, ideally."
"They should also, when they, are they gonna reconcile?"
"I dunno. Probably? Probably sort of. I don't know. Whatever's most pretentious."
"If they make up at the end first they should meet cute. Like they're coincidentally shopping at the same supermarket and he literally runs his cart into hers."
"It's the supermarket near the hospital."
"So that's plausible."
"I wanna have a scene that's like Julianne Moore in the Magnolia pharmacy, but like, more. More than Moore. Even more attacking some stranger for no reason except Acting."
"Do it in a pharmacy."
"Really?"
"I dare you. To the pharmacist. Just, same exact thing."
"I'll seriously do it."
"I seriously dare you."
"What's the worst possible ending for this?"
"Suicide pact."
"No, that's just, what was it called, the, y'know, the..."
"I don't think I do know."
"...she did the, the plant movie, the killer plant movie."
"Little Shop of Horrors?"
"No, Little Joe. Thank you. Her previous—"
"Oh. Right. Um...Amour Fou."
"Yeah, that's not funny. What would be like I-can't-believe-I'm-seeing-this dumb? But something Desplechin might actually do."
"Someone goes to Africa. THE END."
"Healed by being among people of color. I think that's probably too much."
"Probably."