Avatar: The Way of Water (2022, James Cameron) (Patreon)

60/100

First two hours: Crud, this is the same technically impressive but otherwise monotonous movie as the first one. Just what I'd feared. And there are several more of these things to come. Gonna make me nostalgic for the damn MCU. 

Third hour: JAMES CAMERON IS BACK BABY WOOT WOOT WOOT!!!!!

My advice to Cameron at this point is identical to Chef's self-admonition in Apocalypse Now: Never get out of the boat. Every time this behemoth moves further away from land (or "land"), it grows notably stronger, culminating in a spectacular extended anti-whaling adventure turned open-sea battle that's so thrillingly orchestrated, in old-school fashion (spatial coherence!), that I found myself forgetting for long stretches that most of the characters are computer-generated. Possibly I just find the combination of F/X and the ocean uniquely dazzling, for some reason—sole part of Arise, Skywalker! that grabbed me was Rey and Kylo facing off on the floating, wave-lashed wreckage of Death Star II—but there's also just something more tactile and credible about a marine environment, even though I have no doubt that a lot of this one is no less artificial than are Pandora's jungles. And if Cameron's frequently just restaging first-rate setpieces from Titanic and The Abyss, at least he's doing so with his former slightly sadistic gusto; Way of Water flirts with an R rating at times, and I'm surprised that the MPAformerlyA let slide a cathartically gruesome moment that I'll call arm vs. rope. Still have no real interest in Jake and Neytiri, nor did I ever get emotionally involved with their non-adopted kids; while Sigourney Weaver has fun cosplaying as a teenager who rolls her eyes at everything anyone else in her family says, I was never not distracted by her unmistakably adult voice. Less said about resurrecting Stephen Lang's military baddie and inventing an abandoned son for him to pretend he's not bonding with, the better. Ultimately, this remains a mode of cutting-edge filmmaking (btw I watched it sans either 3-D or high frame rate, having finally decided that I hate both too much to care what the director considers optimal) that doesn't much appeal to me, what with its emphasis on digital world-building. One kick-ass hour-and-change is much more than the original film managed, though, so I'll happily take it. 

(I trust we're all equally bewildered by the decision to have Jemaine Clement adopt an American accent, for no apparent reason, while working opposite the most stereotypically Australian-sounding actor this side of Paul Hogan.)