Kramer vs. Kramer (1979, Robert Benton) (Patreon)

68/100

Umpteenth viewing, last seen 1997. My own parents divorced around '75 or '76, so watching this as an 11-year-old (on the big screen! I vividly remember going goggle-eyed at JoBeth Williams' nude scene) was a formative experience; as always, Billy asking whether Mommy left because of him reduced me to a blubbering mess, as I'd likewise blamed myself at his age. (Spent some time in child therapy as a result.) That Ted's reply not only absolves Billy but takes responsibility for his failure as a husband helps counteract what's otherwise a pretty XY-skewed scenario (written and directed by men, focused almost exclusively on Hoffman), treating Joanna as fundamentally unknowable. I'd forgotten that Benton opens with a gorgeously sorrowful close-up of Streep, lit by Nestor Almendros as if she's Liv Ullmann in a Bergman film, and that we never actually see the Kramers' rotten marriage—like Elisabeth Moss in The Invisible Man, Joanna has already made the decision to get out before the movie even begins. But Moss played her film's protagonist, whereas Joanna disappears for most of the next hour, creating an emotional vacuum to be filled by Ted's struggles as a single dad. Still, this is often pretty pointed for its era, having Ted whine "Can't you understand what she's done to me?" and Margaret sarcastically respond with "Yeah, she loused up one of the five best days of your life." Ouch. (Also, he instantly turns into a raging asshole when Joanna tells him she wants Billy back, though it's not clear that we're meant to perceive it that way. I think accumulated empathy used to keep me on his side in that scene, angrily hurled wine glass and all.) All in all, I still think most of KvK's first two acts are pretty great, even if they kinda lionize Ted for perfectly ordinary parental behavior. Movies don't often dig this deep into the mundane hassles of raising a child (e.g. the testing of boundaries illustrated by salisbury steak vs. chocolate-chip ice cream), and the gradual toll taken on Ted's career, culminating in his desperately applying for a shitty job in the middle of a firm's Christmas party, shows his priorities shifting in a credible and organic way.

Here's what I'd somehow never realized before, though: the custody trial is garbage. For one thing—and I'm relieved to find that some folks noted this even at the time—it's completely insane that joint custody is never even so much as mentioned, much less considered, since that's almost certainly what a judge would recommend in this particular situation. Even if we suspend disbelief in that regard, both attorney's "cutthroat" tactics are pure Hollywood hokum, making the lawyers in Marriage Story look like Atticus Finch. I do not believe that Ted's attorney would try to use his own client's failed marriage as evidence of his ex-wife's social incompetence, much less that he would yell at her ("Were you a failure at the one most important relationship in your life? WERE YOU?!?") as tears stream down her cheeks. Any particular reason why opposing counsel doesn't just pose the exact same moronic questions to Ted? Granted, opposing counsel's a complete idiot, as he proceeds to attack Ted at length for having neglected work in favor of tending to Billy, as if that's not a tax-free gift to Ted's lawyer...or at least it would be, were Ted's lawyer not equally useless. There's scarcely a single non-ludicrous moment on the witness stand, even judged by the low bar of how movies generally depict the legal system. Also very disappointing in the home stretch: a sudden willingness to skip past crucial moments (e.g., we never see how Billy's first visit with Mom after 18 months affects things at home, though in all likelihood that would be seismic) en route to the ostensibly juicy stuff, and the film's total cheat of an ending (which I've never bought or liked, though Streep sells it as well as anyone could). One of the stronger middlebrow Oscar winners, but nothing more.

Dept. of Truly Random Pet Peeves: At one point in this movie, Billy takes a leak offscreen—we see him stagger into the bathroom, hear him pee, then see him stagger back out into the hall—at a truly impossible speed. It's always bugged me and this time I actually timed how long he's out of sight: 4.82 seconds. Fastest draw in the East.