Heathers (1989, Michael Lehmann) (Patreon)

72/100

Second proper viewing (i.e., not counting all the times we played it on the monitors in the video store where I worked ca. 1990-91), last seen during its original theatrical release. My big stumbling block has always been Slater's Jack Nicholson, Jr. routine; he was all but unknown then (I'd previously seen him as a 14th-century friar's apprentice in The Name of the Rose, but that's it), so it wasn't clear to what degree those mannerisms were innate or affected, which only added to the distraction. Part of me still wishes that someone else had been cast—McConaughey was 19 and as yet undiscovered at the time; just imagine!—but I must admit that the "homage" sorta works, whether or not that was intended. J.D. is explicitly conceived as a corrective to Nicholson's benignly dangerous persona, illustrating the thin line between rebel and psychotic (as Veronica eventually says out loud); that he initially comes across as a Jack-style grinning prankster, only to be revealed as someone who now inevitably calls to mind Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, genuinely provokes meaningful thought about how much aggressive bullshit we accept on the basis of the way it’s packaged. Which is not to say that many of those classic Nicholson films ignore his characters' dark undercurrents. But I'm newly impressed by how far Heathers pushes the idea, while at the same time never pretending that Veronica would condone J.D.'s murders for a second. The final act has its problems, which I'll get to momentarily, but nobody could fail to admire Veronica's kiss-off line: "You know what I want, babe? Cool guys like you out of my life."

Speaking of terrific lines, I should note for the record that Daniel Waters has become a friend/patron of mine, which makes me hesitant about heaping praise on his script. Then again, Heathers is almost universally considered one of the most quotable movies ever made, so how obsequious can acknowledging its satirical genius really make me look?* The invented teen slang is great fun, of course, but I'm even more partial to such structural fillips as Veronica's repeated conversation with her parents, in which Heather Chandler's death gets accorded exactly the same emotional weight, in iteration the second, that "first week of spring vacation withdrawal" had been accorded in iteration the first. (Also, though separate from the echo chamber, Dad protesting "I don't patronize bunny rabbits" is an all-timer.) Lehmann deserves credit, too, though—visually, I'd remembered the film mostly via its absurdist costume design, but there are deft formal touches throughout, e.g. Veronica's flaming drink at the party starting a garbage-can fire that subsequently illuminates her argument with Heather outside. And while Beetlejuice had already sold me on Ryder, this role confirmed her as America's Sweetheart's Punk Kid Sister, working an irresistible combination of glamorous and sardonic.

I still think Heathers ultimately pulls its punches, though. Apparently, Waters originally intended for J.D. to successfully kill the entire student body—very dark, to be sure, but not as productively upsetting as one or more successful actual suicides might have been. Martha Dunnstock surviving her attempt and getting befriended by Veronica in the final scene is too sappy for my taste; in order for the film to truly draw blood, J.D.'s hoax needed to inspire a trend that genuinely spills some. Instead, we get one failed attempt, one prevented attempt, a hit single, and a New Age teacher's prattling. Only detestable characters wind up dead. Feels a little cowardly, especially for a film capable of such casually brutal observations as "How do you think he'd react to a son who had a limp wrist with a pulse?" (Heathers' general attitude toward homosexuality isn't what you'd call progressive—a lot's changed in the past 30 years—but it nails opportunistic empathy.) We do get Veronica triumphantly covered in her corrosive ex-'s ashes, though, which is not nothin'. And when I think of this movie in future, what will stick with me most strongly is Veronica burning her palm with a cigarette lighter, in an effort to punish herself for her complicity in J.D.'s crimes...at which point J.D. takes that hand in what briefly appears to be solicitude and uses her still-glowing wound to light his cigarette. Abusive relationship in a hilariously horrifying nutshell.

* Here's my one face-saving dialogue note for Daniel: You wanted a hard cut on the mineral water and "Does this answer your question?" Absolutely perfect punchline; everything afterward undermines it.