Have You Considered Buying the Book? (Patreon)

Greetings and semper games. As you may have heard, we have a book coming out. While a lot of people have already sprung for a pre-order, we wanted to touch base with you, the subscribers who fund Chapo, seeing as we still don’t take money from advertisers like WonderWear, the antimicrobial one-piece pajamas with the special moisture wicking ass-flap, or MealMe, the company that will send you all the ingredients for a healthy meal and a disposable chef to cook it for you.

We are genuinely excited about the book. Its rallying cry is that weak willed, compromise-humping liberalism cannot resist fascism, i.e. the current collection of brain-melted psychopaths we call the Republican Party. It’s an unrelenting indictment of the so-called #Resistance, the Democrats, and (for all you tankies out there) the social-democratic half measure of American progressivism. The book is, if you like, a prequel to the show — it lays out the backstory of the people, events, and history that have led us to this particular Verhoeven-esque moment in American history. It is Chapo: Origins. Above all, we really had fun writing it, and we truly hope you will have the same experience reading it.

For us, selling our book is not about money. Sure, if sales go astronomical, it’s possible the publisher and the show will make something back. But far more important to us is the pure spectacle the book will ignite if we manage to get in that Bestseller VIP Section, easily done if each one of you pre-ordered a copy before Aug 21. You know what that would mean....

It would mean we could force the smug gatekeepers of conventional wisdom to take socialism seriously; it would mean we could force the worst people in the world to read us owning them — and have them write about it. It would mean we could knock fucking Hillbilly Elegy or 12 Rules for Dating My Wife off the list. It would mean we could reach people like your lib parent who still has faith in Chuck Schumer, or your apolitical coworker who doesn’t yet hate his boss enough.

Imagine David Brooks having to engage with NoFap as political praxis. Imagine Ezra Klein and Matty Yglesias having to Voxplain their long-forgotten support for the Iraq War. Imagine the National Review having to prove that William F. Buckley didn’t officially die in 1977, only to continue to his abominable "un-life" jacking off in coffins and haunting America for thirty more years of op-eds.

Perhaps more than anything, imagine sending a message — through your favorite large failchildren— to the lib, centrist, establishment pundit class: Get out of the way. We’re done with you. You say say we can’t violate the norms, or have socialized healthcare and a planned economy? We say fuck off. We want socialism, the return of the vastly-underrated TV show Becker, and the abolition of ICE. And we’ll do it ourselves if we have to.

This is what we want from the book release. If you want it too, please join us in the greatest Duck Hunt yet. Buy the book (and preferably not from Jeff Bezor at Amazon).

H.A.G.S.,

Chapo

PS - Please enjoy these rare Marty pics as a bonus