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Episode 211 - Sergeant Hands (5/17/18) (Patreon)

Published:
2018-05-17 17:18:47
Edited:
2020-08-10 19:30:31
Imported:

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Content

It's a movie ep. We review "12 Strong: The Declassified True Story of the Horse Soldiers", a film about how in the weeks following 9/11, our Troops were assisted by their equine friends to definitely, decisively and absolutely win the War in Afghanistan once and for all.

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Comments

Lucas Marsh

This better be better than the latest cumtown

Paul Sielski

I went to Catholic school, and my 4th grade teacher lost her shit when someone said Jesus was crucified at "Calgary."

Erik Weissengruber

Horse Soldier! Horse Soldier! <a href="https://www.google.ca/search?kgmid=/m/03xxnkv&hl=en-CA&kgs=0e01ce2079fbb68c&q=Corb+Lund+Horse+Soldier!+Horse+Soldier!&shndl=0&source=sh/x/kp&entrypoint=sh/x/kp" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.google.ca/search?kgmid=/m/03xxnkv&hl=en-CA&kgs=0e01ce2079fbb68c&q=Corb+Lund+Horse+Soldier!+Horse+Soldier!&shndl=0&source=sh/x/kp&entrypoint=sh/x/kp</a>

realm lich

it would mean a lot to me if you try to get Norman Finkelstein on your show.

gaaaaaaaaar

*voice over*: "The horse was later turned into glue".

Quinn

🐎🐎🐎

huss

Anyone dated women super into horses? They’re super stable. Haha. No but seriously according to NPR apparently it’s some psychosexual shit.

Trevor Ewen

Big fan of Chapo Movie Reviews. Brilliant concepts.

Beth

when chapo comes out right at ur lunch <3 <3

Jay Burnett

I remember when war movies actually had something serious to say <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6WHBO_Qc-Q" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6WHBO_Qc-Q</a>

Rusty
>>12392141

Ah, I see you've also had encounters with horse girls. One of 'em stalked me for a while in high school.

Ben Totushek

Bold artistic choice with the Frito riff live fade out.

huss
>>12392141

She’s so into horses she employs the old timey stalking horse hunting technique

SLEAZOIDS podcast

been afraid to check this one out cause hemsworth is too handsome for this not to work for me on some level

Connor Jeffries

matt mentions the airstrike thing in video games but fails to realize you can do exactly that in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain

Justin Buell

Where the fuck is Matt V Brady?

Daniel

lmao Felix called Matt a honky damn

Takoma
>>12392141

Freud's case of Little Hans. All about his fear of horses and how they symbolized his father because they had big dicks.

Matt Brotchie

Definitely do that Seal episode

ChattyWhacker

Every time I hear Female Horse Soldier, I think of sexy female centaurs from that Monster Musume manga/anime.

TheLatchkeyKid

LOL, what was with that fadeaway

Robby Vocke

Regarding 9/11 shards - my brother was at a fairground the night they were setting up, and snuck behind some big heap of metal to take a piss. Turns out he pissed on a part of the 9/11 building.

Liam deery

classic premium chapo. great ep.

mruskin

Re. the movie "Lawrence of Arabia, " Noël Coward reportedly told Peter O'Toole "If you'd been any prettier, it would have been Florence of Arabia.”

John Wilson

Glad ambers back

Drew
>>12394481

if they could order their horses to shit on command too in this movie that would be pretty badass.

Blackmrrrrrrrrrrrrr
>>12403451

More Amber, please! I enjoy/admire the rich historical perspective Amber and Matt contribute to this group's antics... You're all so goddamn clever.

Bonnot

I'm reminded of that movie about the Battle of the Alamo starring John Wayne where they blow up the fort at the end. I guess because they had to end it with a victory? It's weird when you've been there a bunch of time

Erik Weissengruber

Ideology: mythical reconciliation of irresolvable contradictions.

Blackmrrrrrrrrrrrrr
>>12415849

Nice! Should I already know to whom it should be attributed? (Like Amber, 'I ain't read no Deleuze....')

Gareth Hedges

Horsey Soldiers came out in January, so I'm guessing Chapo's on track to do The 15:17 to Paris next month? It's the worst of these meat thug anti-terror movies. Eastwood seems to cast punitively--all the non-essential flashback roles are played by improv actors.

KTG Talks

Amberrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David Wright

Tally-Ho Over There

DRV

I want that Navy Seals episode

Erik Weissengruber
>>12415849

Ohhhh. Crikey. It's that ... Althusser. Yeah. But I believe he was riffing on the anthropologist Levi-Strauss. Myth, in his theory, is the imaginary resolution of contradictions. You feel that your culture is rooted HERE in your homeland, you are native to it. But you are also subject to other peoples or leaders are imposed on you from elsewhere, or sometimes someone takes all the authority for themselves. You and your people tell stories to make sense of how that's possible. You elaborate a story about some legendary ancestor who came from the native soil, but like a foreigner or invader or misfit, can't seem to walk on it properly. He's described as being lame or with a swollen foot. Because of a series of coincidences, he ends up being sent away from his home but comes back and, not knowing he is actually coming home, makes himself tyrant over the city. The Oedipus myth is an attempt to reconcile in a story about some legendary past the contradictory parts of your society. Your myth tries to bring together aspects of your society that in a purely logical sense cannot be reconciled. Someone becomes tyrant and rules in an abusive and arbitrary way: he maybe-kinda-sorta emerged from your local soil but in some sense he's not REALLY one of you, because you and your friends and family are basically the good guys. His mythic stand-in was also born from the soil but his name "Lame One" (Laius) or Oedipus ("Swollen Foot") is a clue that he doesn't really belong on the land or know how to walk on it. Fathers and mothers are supposed to bear children that support them, children can be matched up to continue good reciprocal relationships between families and tribes. But bloodlines and sanctioned marriages are no guarantees of social stability or harmonious family relations. So you sometime entertain fantasies of families who -- because of accidents or their foolish decisions or actions of inscrutable gods -- tangle up all proper lines of affiliation and succession. But you throw a prophet in there to provide warnings, a figure who allows those hearing the myth to say "See, it is possible to do the right thing and avoid the tragedy that destroyed Laius and Oedipus and Jocasta. Good folks like you and me are tied to those ancient names in the myth, but we aren't as unfree or sad or messed up and powerless as they were! Right?" Or we sit and cry at the tragedy of it all, purge a little pity and fear, and resolve that we will carry on bravely if another tragedy like that comes again.

Derrick Crowe

FYI, Dostum in this story was a real-life monster. He is famous for having locked hundreds of prisoners into cargo containers where many of them suffocated, and then shooting the rest.

Erik Weissengruber
>>12415849

So it's hard to ask Hollywood to provide intellectually consistent message films. Unless it is straight propaganda. They are trying to bridge gaps and reconcile things that can't be bridged or reconciled. The United States is vulnerable. The United States has never lost. Our enemies are ridiculous clowns. At the same time, they are cruel super-genius villains. You have to put together a 2 hour film and try to market it to an audience. The project has to be ended and put out there. But a little patient & critical examination will reveal the fault lines, cracks duct-taped & painted over. When some fancypants claims that they are "deconstructing" something, they're stealing brain valor. The thing already deconstructed itself. It was only a bit of charity or wishful thinking or libidinal investment, or the price you paid to acquire the entertainment commodity, that allowed you to think that the Rube Goldberg contraption was an expressive whole, a perfect little Faberge egg.

Brian Platt

General Daddy: [gun inside the window, Daddy eyes the car] "What's wrong? Not enough horsepower?"

Brian Platt

General Daddy: [gun inside the window, Daddy speaks with a twinkle in his eye] "More like Bojack Horse... blam!"

SJ
>>12391901

Maybe they should do a movie review ep with Norman. I Feel Pretty with Amy Schumer would be an excellent choice.

Brett Lanier

Horse Soldiers sounds like it would be far better had it lifted from the 1976 classic Hawmps! Gino Conforti could have even made a cameo as a senior al-Qaeda member <a href="https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawmps!" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawmps!</a>

Mickey Foley

Matt's "spiritual not religious" line was criminally underappreciated. Also congrats to him for making it almost 50 minutes before saying "hellscape" or "hellworld."

Rory Blank

I've told this story to a lot of people in person, but around 2014 I was working as a dishwasher, and a few months in, they put another guy next to me. I was working at an Alamo, so the volume of dishes was extremely high and it was a two person job. The kid that got hired to work next to me was a white 19 year old from the suburbs who had, just 4 months prior, converted to Islam. Or at least he thought he had. There were a few glaring issues with his representation of the text. Like for instance his insistence that the quote "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world he didn't exist", was a line from the Quran, and not a line from the movie The Usual Suspects. One of the most heated arguments I ever got in with him was during a fairly normal shift, someone in the kitchen put on Juicy by Biggie Smalls. He turned to me knowingly, and told me that the CIA had killed Biggie for trying to warn us about 9/11. I told him that actually, there ha been another World Trade Center bombing, in 1993, and the line "blow up like world trade" was a reference to that. He shook his head at me and told me that there hadn't been a bombing in 1993, and 9/11 was the only attack on the building. For the next half hour, or so, I kept trying to get him to look at news coverage of the 1993 bombing, and he flat out refused to believe that it had even happened. I thought of that listening to Will say "Notorious B.I.G. was not a psychic"

Rory Blank
>>12439063

The takeaway from that story is actually that that kid ruled and I was a fool for trying to dissuade him from his extremely pure beliefs.

cartoondiablo

UM IT'S 13 HOURS NOT 16 UM UM UM

Son of El Topo

I am glad the Trap shares my love for Michael Shannon.

gamerunknown

cuz you look like Omar Sharif

Jake

This sounds like a remake of In The Army Now with Pauley Shore.

The Nosh

Surely Matt was referring to Chili Cheese Fritos as the Original flavor is clearly only seasoned with corn salt.

Yairo Martis

The 9/11 dragon is, of course, War Long.

Stephen

This episode is even more satisfying to listen to in late 2021 after the withdrawal