Yesterday (Part One - Chapters 11 & 12) (Patreon)

CHAPTER 11

If someone were to ask me now what was the first thing that came to my mind when I saw Román, I wouldn't know what I would have said.

All about him is puzzling to me. I'm still having a hard time taking in everything that happened, but I must come clean to you.

Was it good for me?

Was it bad?

I have no idea, there’s only one thing I'm sure of: he changed my life.

I will therefore dare to remember, and I will try to describe in the best possible way everything that happened to me on that trip. I feel I must complete this story. Maybe it'll help me figure it out.

* * *

San Rafael Street number 15th turned out to be an old two-storey house nestled between two blocks of apartments from the 60’s and surrounded by something that at one point had been a small garden, but now was just a corridor flanked by a few famished bushes and a small roundabout crowned by a ragged bedding. Anachronism once again, a peculiarity in the midst of the other buildings in the slum.

Quaint.

I knocked on the door and a boy with long, carbon-black hair, a very pale skin and dressed completely in black promptly received me. I was struck by the way he avoided looking me in the eye and his extreme slenderness. He refused to shake my hand and invited me into the hall with a sparing gesture while he murmured that I should wait there.

The foyer was that of a ordinary but somewhat dark house. In fact, it looked like your typical grandma's house, full of family mementoes and outdated objects.

Roman stepped down the hall with a wide smile. His gaze was frank and familiar, and to be honest I even had a feeling for a moment, as if I knew him. He shook my hand and I felt a pinch of static electricity coming up my arm. This guy, although common at first sight, had a great charisma at close range, and he was well aware of it.

––Welcome Adrian, Araceli told me you were coming.

––Have we met before?

––Who knows? –– he replied with a mischievous wink, playing it cool as he resolutely made his way down the hallway.

Román led me to a sojourn in what seemed to be the heart of the house. We sat at the dining room table and his assistant brought us a platter of drinks.

––Do you like brandy? –– He asked in a casual tone.

––Yeah, actually, love the smell.

––I thought so.

He poured a pinch of brandy into a glass, served himself too, and as he tasted it he glanced at me with satisfaction. I got the same feeling again. It was like he already knew me so well. After a moment which lasted forever, I decided to break the silence. I was beginning to feel very uneasy.

“What am I doing here? I should get going” ­­––. l thought l'd thought it, but apparently l said it out loud.

––Patience, my friend, you just arrived –– said Roman, looking me in the eye. He took a moment to finish studying me and his tone became friendly –– tell me about yourself, how are you doing by now?

––I’m doing well ––. I groped.

––But you seem a little tense, man. Come on, tell me what brought you here.

I can't explain it, but all of a sudden I started talking. Every phrase that streamed out of my mouth was more fluid than the previous one and, every minute that passed, I felt more comfortable with that man, as if I was confessing to a lifelong friend whom I hadn't seen for centuries.

I told him about my life as an executive in Madrid, how I met Eva, our plans for the future. How I had been feeling more and more empty the last few months and how I had ended up in Valencia. I didn't tell him about them or about what I had done, because I wasn't supposed to tell anyone about them. Even so, I told him about my adventures in the city, including my grandfather's, and finally my encounter with the enigmatic Araceli.

We had had half a bottle of brandy and I assumed that it was almost dark, since the living room had no exterior windows, only a little one, covered by crochet curtains and which I assumed would lead to a backyard. At that point I felt like home, relieved because I had been able to speak, and a little euphoric because I had finally felt myself in that city for a few hours. I wanted Roman to be my brother, I felt more connected to him than I had ever been to anyone else. Thankful that he listened to me and happy that I found him.

His assistant snuck in several times to check that we had all we needed. He kept averting me with his eyes, and I figured out that he was quite young, in his early twenties, but something told me that he didn't have much schooling. He was clearly going all out for Roman. and I don't know why, but I ended up figuring there'd be something more going on between the two of them.

––He is my disciple, his name is Antonio, –– said Roman as if he was reading my thoughts when the boy left the room. –– I picked him up from the streets a few years ago, if it weren't for me now he would probably be in jail or in something worse, as it usually happens in this neighborhood. All he's got is me.

I nodded pretending to be disinterested, I didn't want to wind up the subject any more, it was none of my business. But Roman went on.

––He's learning magic with me, I'm his Master.

I didn't see that coming.

––Are you kidding me? Magic? –– I cried out chuckling in surprise. I couldn't help myself ––. Oh, really?

––I am a Magician, Adrian, that is why you have come here –– he replied, challenging me, earnest and very sure of himself. That put me on alert.

––And what can you do? –– I challenged him.

––Are you sure you want to test me now?

––Man, if that's what brought me here it's the least I should ask, just indulge me, please.

––Not yet, we have to wait until midnight.

That's when I burst out laughing. Tears flooded my eyes and I laughed and repeated his last words. All of a sudden I let go of the tension of the whole day, and eventually I sighed in relief. He was still holding my gaze with that strangely pompous yet humorous expression. I asked where the bathroom was and ran away from the living room looking for it.

Walking down the dark hallway, I realized I was a little drunk. I wasn't used to drinking that much brandy and I felt a bit light-headed. I arrived at the bathroom and when I opened the door I noticed two half-consumed candles in the ground, encapsulated in red plastic, their trembling flames dyeing the place like a ghostly haze. I pushed the switch and a very low-wattage light bulb came on over the sink mirror which lazily lit the walls in a faint color.

That bathroom was quite a relic. White tile up to the middle of the wall, plaster yellowed by the years on the ceiling, and some fairly old but clean sanitation.

I washed my hands and freshened up my face. I looked around and realized that I stood next to one of the candles on my left, beside a hole the size of a tennis ball. The hole was framed by a dark metal border, adorned with arabesques. It’s muzzle was black, unfathomable. I felt cold and afraid as I looked at it… I stepped aside to avoid it.

I got out of there in a hurry.

Román was speaking quietly to his disciple when I opened the door of the room. He dismissed him with a smile and a pat on the back and then looked at me with friendliness.

––Would you like some dinner? I've asked Antonio to bring something from the restaurant next door just in case we get hungry.

––As you wish –– I had a seat and waited for him. I decided to humor him and pull his tongue some more ––. You have to explain this magic to me, and forgive me for earlier, but it's been a crazy day. What is it exactly what you do?

––Coming from your background, this will sound like a fairy tale to you, and more so today that the world has become so cynical, but there are still many of us who are devoted to true Magic, though I have to admit there are fewer and fewer of us. We are being beaten by the others on this plane, but we mustn't stop fighting for it. My job is to be here, to attend those who come to me and, from time to time, to meet with someone like you.

––Are you serious? –– Knowing he was pulling my leg did nothing but encourage me to wound him up.

––Absolutely. And I know you can sense it because, believe it or not, I know you perfectly well. You convey a strong and determined image to others, but no one really knows you, only you know who you are. You may think you have everything under control, but you've just discovered a whole new world. New rules, new players, and you're confused. You can't tell what's real anymore and you’re not sure if you can speak it loud. Will you spoil it? How far does it go?

I went silent and my stomach froze. A minute passed and Roman rose quietly. He walked over to the bookshelf and started to look through the books, gently passing his finger over each spine, just as if enjoying the moment. I just watched him. He was an ordinary guy, yes, but with a strong build. His features were intense, almost Arab, and huge, black eyebrows accentuated his piercing eyes.

He handed me an old book with a blue cloth cover.

––Open it to any page and read the first sentence you can find.

––“In silence you can hear the voice of God. If this voice leads the man, he walks the path of happiness and eternity”.

Only one name, Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov, was engraved on the spine. The lids were pleasant to the touch. I glanced at Roman puzzled.

–– What does this mean?

––That you have all the answers within you, and that only when you stop looking outside yourself will you find real happiness.

There was a brief silence and I suddenly realized how pointless it was to resist him. Something broke inside me, as if a door that had been closed for a long time had opened wide. Today I wonder how something so simple could have affected me so much. I decided to drop my guard and jump in.

––Just tell me what to do now.

––Adrian, I just told you that everything is inside you. Don't ask me for answers that are thine.

––Do you always talk like that? –– I rebuked him affectionately.

––Only when you ask me for the impossible –– He smiled resignedly ––go and find Antonio please, and ask him to get us something to eat.

I left the room feeling a childish joy I had not known for a long time. I tried to put a name to it. Relief. Yeah, that's what I was feeling. A lucky break at last. I walked a few steps and found the boy crestfallen down smoking a cigarette in the kitchen. Something about that guy wasn't right and I, in my newly triggered euphoria, needed everyone smiling around me, so I raised my thumb and asked him to cheer up.

––Don't worry about me –– he murmured, standing up ––does Roman need anything?

––He told me we should fix some dinner.

He began to carefully unpack what seemed to be bar snacks, and I asked him for a cigarette. He nodded laconically at me with his head, pointing to the packet he had left on the counter, still avoiding any eye contact.

––Quite the character this Roman, you must lead a very interesting life.

––Yes –– was his brief answer. I didn't give up and persevered.

––Do you know what this midnight thing is about?

––It's none of my business.

I didn't know how to keep up the conversation so quickly and uncomfortably I smoked the cigarette while Antonio kept turning his back on me. It became clear to me that he considered me an intruder. After he finished setting up everything he turned around and for the first time he looked me in the eye for a second. I got a lump in my throat. His gaze was immensely sad, melancholic, and he had reddened circles under his eyes, as if he had been crying. He didn't look at me with a grudge, only with distance, defensively. He leaned his two hands on the countertop in front of me and for a moment I thought he was going to talk. But he didn't, instead he checked the time on his wrist clock, and in that instant something about him struck me as tremendously girlish. Confusing.

I decided to stop digging and left the kitchen. Román wasn't in the living room when I came back, so I stopped to examine the stuff on the shelves that adorned the room.

Books, old photographs, glass objects and figurines crowded the shelves. I was struck by a ragged picture of a man with a serious expression. He looked like a clergyman and had a certain resemblance to Roman, although he seemed taller. I figured he was an ancestor. I looked for the blue book but could not find it.

––What do you want it for? ––I was startled by Roman. ––You should not re-read what you have already read, what matters is the remainder of the message in your memory.

––You could at least tell me the title, I'd like to have it.

––It will come to you when it is due, don't worry.

––Is that what I'm here for? For you to teach me?

––Let's have dinner, one thing at a time.

The tapas were well received in the middle of a cheerfully unimportant conversation. Román asked me about Madrid several times and I told him about the city. I soon discovered that he had a rogue side, something that surprised me (and relieved me, why deny it, the guy was human after all) and so I rebuked him with laughter.

––I didn't imagine someone like you would care about those things.

––I'm not a priest. We Magicians are in contact with all energies, and sexual energy is one of the most powerful –– he replied with a look that pierced me.

––But I remember reading that the key is abstinence.

––You've misread. A Magician must often allow himself to be flooded by desire in order to carry out certain works, and focus on the sexual act all that he intends to carry out. No boundaries.

––No boundaries? What do you mean?

––A magician must be able to work with all that nature provides - earth, water, fire, wind, women, men...

––Animals? — I joked.

––That's for witches, you have to separate between white Magic and black Magic –– he responded seriously.

––Are you bisexual then?

––Adrian, please! We're not talking about that, don't try to label it. I am Soul and Being, liberated from all traumas and limitations, can't you see yourself like this?

––Man, I'm very much in love with my girlfriend, and it never occurred to me to make out with a guy, –– I responded defending myself as best I could.

––That's funny, because Antonio has been concerned all afternoon because he knows that you and I will end up together.

I stared at him stunned for a moment, waiting for his reaction after such a statement. Suddenly I realized he was serious and I got pissed off.

––Look, man, I don't know what you've figured out, but I'm not gonna sleep with you –– I snapped at him putting my hands on the table. He looked at me and started smiling, I sighed with relief –– this is all I needed after all this day!

––Don't worry, we don't have to go that far, –– he replied with a smile –– not if you don't want to.

––I don't want to, for the record!

We kept chatting nonsense for a while, but my head kept turning over what just happened. I took for granted that those two, aside from anything else, were a couple. I assumed that Roman, with his overwhelming personality, had Antonio under his thumb, and I felt sorry for him. I figured that if these things happened often in that house, it must have been a calvary for Antonio. One could only think that he did not know how to separate, as much as Román did, Magic from the worldly.

I understood Antonio's despair. His behavior made much more sense from a jealous lover point of view, so I decided to be more sympathetic to him from that moment on. I guess that, like me, this aspect of Roman had to be quite disconcerting to him.

––It's almost midnight –– announced Roman ––. I'm going to ask Antonio to get everything ready.

He left the living room and I pondered. Suddenly I didn't find Román so fascinating, because underneath all that charisma there was something that didn't quite fit. A seed of mistrust grew within me, and suddenly I wanted to leave, to be far from there.

But on the other hand, it was important that I solve that enigma. If those people could help me, why not try?

A few minutes later the three of us were in Roman's car, with him behind the wheel. I sat next to him and Antonio behind him.

––There is one thing I must warn you about –– said Roman solemnly, staring at the horizon with both hands firmly on the steering wheel ––. I will perform a ritual when we arrive and I will need to use my true voice, something that may frighten you.

––I beg your pardon?

––We Magicians use a different voice for rituals, that's all you need to know at the moment. Although being who you are, you may not be able to hear it.

I nodded with a shrug, to be honest, the whole thing seemed stupid to me again.

––Antonio was very frightened the first time, wasn't so? ––He said looking at him in the rear-view mirror ––. But don't worry, Adrian, you' ll be fine.

––So what are we gonna do?

––I'm going to baptize you, –– he answered happily staring at the road.

––Say what? But I' m already baptized.

––Not in our religion, however, if you are to be a Magician, this is the first thing we must do with you, a proper purification.

––You know, I think you're wrong about me, but is this like you're going to be my teacher? –– I thought I'd ask again, I didn’t know why but I really wanted to believe him.

––We'll see about that. We're almost there.

I curled up in my seat. That was definitely something worth seeing. There was a tremendous battle going on inside me, because despite the absurdity of the situation, an important part of me wanted to believe everything Román told me, and the other part couldn't help but boil with skepticism. I was there, in a car with two strangers, on my way to who knows where. I felt euphoric again.

The beach was in the dark. We walked a few meters under the moonlight until the sparse civilization around us disappeared behind a huge dune. It was like being isolated from the world. The horizon blinked with small points of light that were reflected pulsating over the darkened sea. The sand was cool and moist, and with each step we took, we could hear the rhythmic beating of the waves grow louder. The sea was not so agitated as when we got out of the car. It actually seemed to go numb as we approached. My two companions marched in silence and, despite my nerves, I managed to keep quiet. The whole situation took on a solemn tone, making me feel more and more out of place.

We stopped very close to the shore. Antonio opened his backpack and took out a sheet of white gauze. When he unraveled it, it turned out to be some kind of hijab. Roman turned his back on us and started unbuttoning his shirt. Antonio approached him and waited for him to take it off. Holding it in one arm, he helped him put on his attire, and then handed him a book and a necklace made of transparent beads. Roman put on his hood and began to psalm quietly as he slowly moved away from us towards the shore.

Afterwards, Antonio approach me and stared at me. I was struck by it because he seemed like a different person, more relaxed and self-confident, even defiant.

––Strip down.

––What? –– I looked at him in shock. His voice had a particular tone.

––You must be naked for the ceremony –– he said patiently –– give me your clothes, I'll take care of them.

––But...

––No buts –– He cut me abruptly and offered his hand so that I could hand him my clothes.

I looked at him confused but he stood firm. I was going to say something but I had second thoughts, Roman was far away, on the shore. Eventually I sighed, looked around and started to take off my shirt. I could feel Antonio's vigilant eyes above me, something that started to make me feel very uncomfortable, but I decided to avoid that feeling and let myself go. If he wants to watch, then let him watch, it's a good night for a bath.

Eva came to mind and I imagined her screaming at me when I told her. We were gonna have some fun for a while. That image made me smile as I stood on my underwear behind Antonio's back.

––Everything –– he urged me dryly as I turned around.

I think I raised an eyebrow. I shrugged my shoulders and, with a resigned nod, gave him my underpants while I looked him in the eye, challenging him to look away. Without alluding to it, he went away to where he had left his backpack, and I stood there naked in front of the sea, covering myself up as best I could.

Román continued a little further on, wandering along the shore, the darkness turned him into a blurred white spot. He seemed to be still immersed in his litany.

I suddenly missed a cigarette. There was nothing going on there and it was a little chilly. I hadn't opened my mouth since I was left alone and had been counting ship lights on the horizon for quite some time.

A cold hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped.

––Come with me –– it was Antonio, and I stumbled back to him.

He was too close to me, and I couldn't help but look at him through and through.

I took a step back when I realized in shock that he was also completely naked. His skin was whiter than milk. His gaze, fixed, was indecipherable to me. Pulling me by the shoulder, he led me to Roman. I noticed that my legs were shaking slightly, and each step I took, his presence behind me made me more and more nervous. I didn't want him rubbing up against me. I felt totally vulnerable and my mind didn't help me. A volcano of emotions was boiling in my mind, the tension turned to fear, the fear to tremor, the tremor made me clench my teeth. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want him to touch me. I turned to face him and we collided brutally.

All of a sudden I was in bed on top of Eva. Bewildered, I realized that we were making love and I froze for a moment. She was drenched in sweat and opened her eyes.

––Why did you stop? –– she gasped –– Go on!

I was inside her and had only just escaped from a nightmare. I was overcome with euphoria. I closed my eyes and squeezed them tightly, spurred on by the rage that began to flow from my chest. Knowing I was victorious turned me on even more. And I kept going. I didn't stop.

Eva cried out in ecstasy. We turned around and she got on top of me. I was about to explode. Everything became very intense. Araceli, Román, Antonio... Their faces scrolled through my memory and to my surprise, knowing that I was with Eva freed me and I was even more excited, anger was a powerful aphrodisiac.

I opened my eyes and clung to Eva's vision over me. She was ravishing, with her long hair swirling between her breasts with every rush.

I closed my eyes again and bit my lips to hold on a little longer. Eva closed hers and moaned. I knew she was close and I wanted to finish her off. Time began to stand still, everything slowed down and a torrent of blood rushed to my forehead bursting into a thousand sparks that pushed me away from reality.

I had the strangest feeling and I opened my eyes.

I was back on the beach and had Antonio panting on top of me.

CHAPTER 12

Eva had been trying to stay calm and be reasonable for a while, but they weren't making it easy for her.

––So now you're telling me we have to wait one more day?

––Miss Samper, as I explained to you yesterday, we cannot perform the biopsy on Adrián until he undergoes a minimum period of observation, that is the procedure in these cases. We can't do a scan without knowing where to look. There's nothing more we can do for him in this hospital other than what we're already doing, I'm sorry.

––This is unbelievable –– Eva sighed ––. You' ve been testing him for two days and now you're telling me this. What do you expect me to do, take him away?

––Believe me, it's your decision, but you must consider Adrian's wellbeing. This is a public hospital and we're going as fast as we can, but if you're sure you can speed up the process on your own, I can't stop you.

Eva challenged him with her eyes. She wasn't going to let that little doctor see her pale again. She was sick of that town and that hospital.

––All right, –– said Eva –– have the papers ready or whatever you have to do, I’m taking him to Madrid with me.

––Very well, I will send someone to fill you in on the particulars of the transfer –– said the doctor, and after a brief head bow he left the room.

Eva began to feel sick and sat down. She was well aware that she had made her final decision out of pride, but they kept giving her reasons to take him away, something that soothed her conscience to some extent, because what she really hated was that place.

They had not been able to clarify anything more about Adrian's situation. They had done tests and more tests, but nothing came out of it and his looks got worse by the hour. He looked pale, had lost weight, and blue lines furrowed his eyes and cheeks, giving him a ghostly look. Eva felt surpassed by the situation, but that was only normal, as she was not a doctor. What annoyed her was that those alleged professionals were not able to tell her anything she couldn't see for herself either. She needed results, an idea of what to expect, no more wasting her time.

She decided to call her mother, she was the best when it came to arranging things like that.

Adrian babbled again.

Eva came closer. They had warned her that it was common for him to make noises, but she kept getting startled every time it happened. She took his hand and thought she noticed a slight reaction. Though he did not seem to suffer at all, they had assured her that he was unresponsive to anything around him.

It would be so easy if he suddenly woke up. She came a little closer and stroked his hair.

––Do something –– she whispered to him –– Do something, Adrián.

Nothing happened.

––Goddamn it.

Eva grabbed her purse in distress and went down the hall to make a call. Adrian squinted for a moment, but she did not see him, she was already out of the room.

Where am I?

Sitting in the hallway with her cell phone still in her hand, Eva wandered through her memories and noticed that it all started several weeks ago. Adrian began to behave somewhat strangely but she hadn't given it much thought. She knew from her friends that men with his stress levels often had this kind of crisis when important events were approaching and, with the upcoming wedding date, she took it for granted. She left him space and allowed his long silences. She decided it was best not to put pressure on him and to take care of the basic organization of the event on her own. She'd let him know for final details.

She had decided to surrender herself to Adrian a few months before and finally trust him, something she considered an exceptional offering in her world and in her nature. She owed it to herself to get out of that situation.

All her life she had been surrounded by people who didn't really appreciate her for who she was, just for what she was, a rich heiress to a wealthy family.

Her situation was something that she and her older sister, Laura, both understood at the same time and very soon, but unlike Laura, Eva decided to play the role and take advantage of the circumstances. She had always been ambitious and fiercely independent. Not only had she planned to live well, she had also set out to be happy despite all the disadvantages of being the victim of such an oppressive social cliché.

Throughout her life she built an inner world to which no one but her sister had access, and on rare occasions. Behind the walls of that imaginary world she felt safe. She modeled her character outwardly according to what was expected of her, and although she knew that sometimes her gaze would betray her pretended shallowness, it didn't bother her, because she knew that this specific feature gave her just the charisma she needed to be the leader in her milieu. They better wonder what she was hiding behind her gaze, that gave her control.

And then Adrian appeared, and she knew almost from the first moment that it was he she had been waiting for. Her man. He had the right mix of naivety and ambition, he understood the value of money, of the power it brought, but at the same time he didn't seem to care. She saw herself reflected in him. They both took their lives like a theatre, and handled themselves with the ease of someone who knew their role perfectly well.

They met at a diplomatic dinner, they were seated together at the same table, the Cyprus ambassador's table. After the formal presentations, she couldn't help but notice how well he was doing. He was a born businessman. She heard from his own mouth how he had come from nothing, almost self-made from that modest town in Extremadura, bragging about his middle-class origins, all of which he recounted with an arrogance that only his charisma could turn into a seductive exercise.

He perfectly combined exquisite table manners with a studied touch of vulgarity, eagerly looking for the complicit smile of his counterpart. “It's a very clever way to control the situation and stand out from the crowd”, she thought to herself. Eva was enjoying the show until she decided to intervene. She wasn't going to let him get away without getting his attention. She would test him, the timing was right, they were talking about hobbies and Adrian was telling an equestrian anecdote.

––...And that' s why I miss riding, it was so relaxing ––he resolved confidently. Eva grazed his hand with a smile.

––So you're a lover of hespasia?

Adrian stared at her perplexed for a second and then responded with the best of his smiles.

––Yes, and although they couldn't afford it at home, I was able to take advantage of the hospitality of some of my parents' friends several times, that's where I learned to ride. Too bad my back suffered, I haven't been able to enjoy it again.

––A pity, indeed –– she replied flirtatiously with amused indifference ––. You don't know what you're missing.

He stared her in the eye for a few seconds and she knew that he was wondering what many others had before. He wondered what lay behind her beauty, or how it could be that someone like her had that fire in her eyes. Any one of those topics that men would notice and say to women to impress them. But Adrian had lost any appeal to her, he was just another quack.

––There is no such word –– Adrian whispered to her ear, approaching her.

––What? –– Eva was thrown out of her thoughts.

––Hespasia? Where'd you get it?

Eva turned pale, it was the first time someone had caught her with that trick, he was going to expose her if she didn't react. She raised an eyebrow.

––And how do you know it doesn't exist?

––If you would like to meet me to discuss it, I have a dictionary at home –– he replied with a wink.

Eva frowned and gave him a grin filled with grimace. She excused herself from the table, needing to kidnap one of her friends to use the bathroom, she had to find out who this guy was.

Adrian was not there when they came back from the bathroom. At the table, they were told that he had excused himself for a business matter. Eva sat up upset. She was going to have to put up with her friends' regrets all night

Then a waiter appeared with a bent note on a small silver plate, there was a call for her at the hotel reception desk.

––It turns out that this hotel has a library –– it was Adrian's voice –– would you like us to look up your word together?

Eva's heart was skipping a beat.

––Where are you?

––Room 515, I'm opening the cava.

“Cava? How tacky” thought Eva but unwittingly standing at the elevator doors. The doors opened and she entered, it was as if her will had left her. She needed to live that, something told her that her life had just begun.

So it started. They got to know each other little by little. After a first week of frantic sex and lots of laughs, Eva began to discover the man and took Adrian seriously. She put a stop to his sexual encounters, but only slightly, and began to meet him in other situations. Dinners, theatre, cinema. Each week that followed she felt more comfortable with him. And he with her, she was almost certain of it.

Eva introduced him to his parents, who welcomed him with enthusiasm. She knew her father saw himself reflected in Adrian, and her mother was relieved and happy that her daughter had chosen one of the best matches out there. Her introverted sister was as distant as usual but never made her think that she disliked her relationship. Probably because that new circumstance would scare away her parents' attention from her for a while, something Laura always thanked her for when they were alone.

Adrian's parents were a different song altogether.

They met for the first time in a very exclusive restaurant in the Salamanca district. They had a dignified look, but somewhat out of place. And she could feel their distrust. They were kind, yes, but distant to her. On the other hand, they were very affectionate with Adrian. She figured it must be something characteristic of only children, overprotective parents.

Shortly afterwards they announced their engagement at a lavish family dinner. Eva felt uncomfortable during the whole evening, her only wish was that everything would be quick and that they would find themselves on their honeymoon, free of all that artifice, alone, in each other's arms.

It was that night that Eva decided to give herself up to Adrian, took a solemn vow of trust and promised herself that she would never again worry about being alone in the world. Only his sister and he would be allowed to enter her "secret garden".

But when the wedding was a month and a half away, Adrian began to change. She was constantly reminded of a conversation she had had at one of their intimate dinners at Adrian's apartment. They were talking about banalities and out of nowhere there was a silence between the two of them that was beginning to feel uncomfortable, as Adrián broke it with a gloomy look:

––Is it worth it? Do you think it's really worth it?

Adrian asked her thoughtfully.

––What do you mean? –– Eva replied worried.

––All of this, this ongoing struggle, our life here, don't you think we deserve better?

––Adrian, this is what it is, just a façade, you know that. Don't worry, you have me.

––I know, honey, but sometimes I wonder....

––You're tired, that's all, I'm booking you a spa appointment tomorrow –– she replied motherly and eager to close the matter.

––Maybe that's it, yeah.

Adrian was silent again, meditating, even sad to Eva, but a moment later he tilted his head and a brief, tender smile formed on his face as he looked at her, and she calmed down. False alarm. Prenuptial nerves. Or so she thought.

Now she was alone in that hospital. A gray, heavy sense of loss surfaced through the limits of her consciousness. She pushed it away.

This would pass, she couldn't be carried away by those emotions. Adrian was in the across room and had only her to take care of him. She had to grow strong and let a little bit of her real personality come out of those immense secret walls she had built over the years and handle the situation. It was time to be the person she thought she was.