Coming out day special: Free! (Patreon)

Today is coming out day, and I thought it would be a nice opportunity to share this with you.

As you may know, I had a full career in music and another name before becoming who I am now. This here was the last song I produced that closed that chapter in my life. At the time I thought it was both ironic and fitting that the song tittle was “Free”.

This song is an adaptation of a Stevie Wonder song (fun fact, the adaptation was made by among others Ultra Nate) and is performed here by Dana International. First released in 1999, the 2016 Madrid Pride Committee hired me to produce a new version for the closing show of World Pride to be held in Madrid that year. The new version would feature a duet with another artist and the Madrid male gay choir guys as background vocals.

It was the last job I accepted as a producer with a nice budget and I spent every penny of it on working out something special. As you can hear, some of BK’s style was already being born (the Chic influence in the piano here is obvious). It was thought of having a great display of people on stage bearing drums and more, and that’s why the big moments of booms and bangs, I also coordinated a new layer of male vocals (that we sadly couldn’t record for this demo). I really enjoyed the result and Dana and the guys in charge of this at the committee were very happy and excited.

But then the day of the show came and the live stage production was a mess (I don’t know why but the final shows on every gay pride in Madrid are always a disaster). The other singer didn’t show up, the sound guy had zero experience (either a cheap hire or somebody’s boyfriend), the light guy same, and stage production was so chaotic, Dana ended up performing with a friend at 3am that Sunday, so the camera team and news outlets were long gone, so there’s not much more coverage than poor mobile video pieces available from the performance. Mics didn’t work well, visuals were gone... you name it. But people was curiously happy and best of all, I was free!!

The first plan was to go to a studio that next day and record the duet and male choir for a special release, but it never happened. So I had the strange experience to be paid in full, and in possession of a demo nobody claimed (this here is the vocal reference demo). I’m not sure I’m allowed to share this, but I think you can have it.

My point here is that no coming out experience might be perfect, but you can end up being equally happy, and most of all free. It may happen to be a traumatic experience, but in the end you are finally free to start walking your own luminous path and that’s just beautiful. Life is before you, all opportunities there for you to grab them. You have the unique chance to make the most of it and become the best version of yourself, because with that step you validated yourself, you chose you are worth it, and told the world you love yourself.

Guys, that makes you special.

My coming out as gay was equally imperfect and had many stages. I was never in the closet out of my family home, but as a respect to them it took years to talk openly about that with them. That was their choice, and what they got in exchange is a very light version of me, and just a fraction of my time. And when I finally talked with my parents about it, although we had like two good years, a shit storm happened and it was evident to me they were not that accepting. That triggered my change of name and even possibly country, but guys I can tell you I’m more happy now as I could never imagined. Choose yourself, you will always win.

I know some of you have issues with this and are dealing with serious trouble because of this, and I profoundly respect that. I hope this helps and that I can be helpful. I will be there for you, those who have taken the time to write me know I’ll try my best. I also know there are some of you that are already free and happy. I invite you to share your stories here, this is a safe space. Happy coming out day.

Ps: it’s Jose Spinnin’s birthday! ❤️