Road to Zordon 3 (Patreon)

Hey again everyone! Time for another update on the ongoing quest to becoming a Power Ranger! 

One thing I guess I have never really outlined are the actual goals here, or the goals to the goals. In everything I do I try to imagine the end result and then work backwards from there to break down exactly how to get there. A seemingly simple trick that works well for me. So here is the list, broken down as well as I can make it.

Becoming a Power Ranger

1. Earn my blackbelt in Tae-Kwon-Do.

  a. Train to improve skills in time off.

  b. Attend every class I can.

  c. Work my way up the belt ranks.

2. Improve body to an acceptable Power Ranger level.

  a. Exercise on days off with the goal of toning, not gaining.

  b. Improve dexterity through some pointed exercises.

  c. Strengthen bones to accept more impact.

3. Acting?

  a. Find local classes to work on acting and improv. (D&D helps too!)

  b. Read a few books on the subject.

  c. Potentially audition for some local plays.

This list may seem a little broad still, and it is in some parts. I haven’t figured out exactly how to accomplish each sub-goal but that is part of this process. It’s also another reason for this series, to show how we can go from having no idea what we’re doing, to having a solid grasp on the path ahead. Each one of these sub-goals has their own research and path that all lead into the eventual goal of auditioning for a role as a Power Ranger. And if all that fails, at least I have improved myself in some key ways and hopefully opened some other doors! As they say, it’s not always about the destination. 

So, to update on some actual events, two major things happened. I got in my first sparring match and I’ve spoken to the man himself, Zordon. I’ll go through them in that order. 

At our last class we started with a little practice sparring. Then the class, being a family class and having mixed ages, was split off into adults and kids. The adults, just myself and four other men of two ranks or more above me, were going to be doing a round-robin fighting ring. One person would be in the center and another person would enter the ring for 30 seconds then swap out with the next fighter. This meant that the person in the center would fight for 2 straight minutes and all of us would be fighting on and off for around 8 minutes. 

Spoilers: I got beat, badly. I was nowhere near a match for these guys and even with protective equipment I am covered in bruises a week later. My one solace is that I didn’t stop. I was able to make it two minutes in the center against the higher ranks and, even though I lost, I never got knocked down and I didn’t make it easy on them. I’ll not comment too much about how I immediately bolted outside and laid on the ground once the 8 minutes were up. Or much on how I nearly vomited while outside. Those details are not important. What is important is that I didn’t give up against those odds. 

It’s worth noting that I had worked two shifts within 24 hours before going to class that night. That’s certainly why I got beaten, not because I was totally outclassed. Surely more sleep would have let me channel my inner Goku instead of my inner Yamcha. 

So, about that Zordon thing. A few weeks ago, I was a guest on the show Fate and the Fablemaidens. (In the Roc and Roll arc.) It was great, and I highly recommend checking out their show! Good clean fun and real genuine love for their characters. I’m only a little biased because the crew has been amazing outside of their show too! 

At a recent convention they caught up with David Fielding, the actor who played Zordon in the original Power Rangers and through several seasons afterword. They told him about this project and he sent some encouraging words my way. I received a tweet from the Fablemaidens saying all this, complete with a picture of them posing with David. My inner 6-year old flipped out and current me almost fainted from excitement. 

My mind raced back to the taste of Popeye’s canned spinach. A very early memory of my mother convincing me that the Power Rangers ate canned spinach and that I would have to eat it too if I wanted to be like them. It’s strange how things work out like that. I let my mom know she was right, a mistake I don’t encourage making. I’m sure to hear about it until the sun implodes. 

It may seem silly, getting so excited over a tweet. I know David isn’t really a quasi-space god, but reality was put aside for a moment as one of my childhood heroes encouraged me to continue down this path. There are still doubts in my mind but the idea that ZORDON HIMSELF said I could be a Power Ranger is enough to keep me going. More than keep me going, when I went to that sparring class, half dead from exhaustion, going against opponents far above my rank, I was able to give 100%, regardless of anything else. 

Wrapping up, I’ve got a workout routine from a personal trainer friend of mine. I’ve not had time yet to really dig into it, but I plan on doing so very soon. I’ve spoken a bit about doing a baseline and keeping track of improvements or setbacks. Something like that takes a bit of setup but I promise it will be here eventually. I feel like I also have to take one of those before and after shirtless photos, if only to fit the theme. Unfortunately, I’ll have to get over my dad-bod shame before that happens. Truly a harrowing battle, even for the Megazord. 

May the power protect you!

-Chris