Road to Zordon 1 (Patreon)

A few months ago, I came across an image that opened my eyes to something. It was a casting call poster for the 26th season of Power Rangers. Now, I haven’t kept a super close watch on the Power Rangers lore, only popping in for a season here or there and filling in blanks with wikis, but I still enjoy the series very much. As a kid I collected many of the toys, watching the show far beyond the point of it still being cool to do so. As an adult, I have an unabashed appreciation for the show, despite its processed cheese core. So, when I saw this poster I was struck by the possibility it held, especially in two lines. 

“We are seeking superheroes with a strong athletic skill, such as martial arts, dance, gymnastics, or acrobatics. Acting experience is a plus, but not required.”

My mind came up with all the reasons it would never work. The poster gave some other pretty specific guidelines.  They’re seeking people that look 15-21. Even with no beard, I can’t pass as 21 anymore. My teeth are not great, years of Mountain Dew abuse (a habit I kicked long ago) left them in rough shape; making the photogenic part difficult. I’ve never been a very “sports” guy, so I don’t pass for athletic. But still, those two lines stuck with me. All those other things aside, I have some minor acting experience (I like to include D&D time in there too) and there is a local Tae Kwon Do class my wife has been urging me to attend. So maybe I could do it?

I decided to give it a shot. I’d been to the classes before but never had a strong goal and so I didn’t stick with it. This time would be different. My wife had worked her way up to a green belt and could help me train. I knew the teachers were kind and surprisingly encouraging after they heard of my tentative Power Ranger plans. I had already joked about it on twitter, so obviously I no longer had a choice. I was going to train to be a Power Ranger, and this would be my first step. 

It's embarrassing to admit that I delayed it for several weeks and even had trouble going the first night. I had a lot of self-doubt. I like to think that I’m reasonably confident but in the drive to the class, I had many kaiju sized mental hurdles to overcome. 

“This is a dumb goal. Why are you so childish; grow up. You’re setting yourself up for failure. Nobody wants an old ranger. You’re going to embarrass yourself. Just quit while you can.”

I did my best to drown out these thoughts by cranking up the Power Rangers theme song in my head. Yeah, it’s silly, yeah it’s childish, yeah I might fail, yeah I’m too old, yeah I might embarrass myself, and no I wont quit. I’ve got a "power and a force you’ve never seen before." Well, and a very loving wife who squeezed my hand and let me know I could do this. I feel a bit foolish admitting how rattled I was for such a small thing, but it’s the truth. 

When I got to class I was pretty well received. Nobody mentioned my goal, but simply asked how I was. They gently chided me for taking so long to get back to the class, which stung but at least let me know I was wanted there. I spent the little bit before the class getting in my fresh new uniform and stretching. I was nervous as I was the lowest rank in the class, with several kids above me. At this point I had made it into the class though, and whatever doubt I was having would just have to wait. 

Then we started training and it became very apparent that I am out of shape. I’m not unhealthy, an active job and healthy diet see to that, but I had trouble keeping up with the warmup exercises. So, in order to keep on this Power Ranger goal, I’ll have to add regular exercise to my routine. In the next post I will go into that and what my basic plans and goals are there. For now, you just need to know that I spent 3 days recovering from pushing myself so hard. As I write this, my hips and quadriceps are still quietly protesting.

While training I just kept thinking “You made it here. This was half the fight. It’s just like writing. Just show up, just do it.” And those words allowed me to give it everything I had. They’re not exciting words, they’re not even all that motivating. They helped me stay focused though. 

Once we were done with warmups and group training, they paired me off with a blackbelt who went over my moves. The blackbelt was 12 and could have decimated me easily. I wish I could say it was no problem taking orders from a 12-year-old, and to his credit he was very thorough and amiable, but it was still a bit surreal. We went over some patterns, a few different kicks (the latter he said I did very well) and finally ended on my first major pattern, Chon-Ji. 

It’s a small pattern, having only 18 steps (or 19 if you’re getting technical) and it honestly reminded me a lot of a videogame cheat code. Just do the proper inputs, in the proper time, and then you unlock… confidence? The comparison doesn’t work completely but it did make it easier to remember. Once we were done, he conferred with another blackbelt, a gentleman in his 50s, and they both decided to test me for a stripe (sort of a half-way step between new belt colors) on my next session. So, I guess I did unlock something after all. 

By the end of the night I was sweating hard, but it felt good. The next few days felt less good as I just wanted to remove my sore legs. They say it’s a good pain, they are liars. Nevertheless, I did enjoy myself and plan on continuing down this road. I may never overcome some of the hurdles that stand in my way, my age and such, but I’m going to do my best to smash down every obstacle I can. And when I can’t do it alone, I have my wife, my sons, and hopefully you to help me through. 

Thanks for reading this. I hope you enjoyed the first part in this very long journey. It's a little different than my normal fare, a touch more personal. I’d be glad to answer any questions or read any suggestions you may have. Please let me know what more you would like to see from this series. See you again soon!