Doing Business, Part 16 (Patreon)

Sixteen

From: Gabrielle Heller <gheller@xxxxxxxxx>

Date: Thursday, March 24 at 11:46 AM

To: Clark Ashburn <cashburn@xxxxxxxxx>

Cc: Lyndie Brown <lBrown@xxxxxxxxx>

Subject: New Assistant Orientation

Hey Clark,

Congratulations on becoming my new assistant! I think we’re going to work well together, don’t you?

At 2:00 PM today, I’m holding a meeting in the 12th floor conference room and I’d love for you to be there. This will be a good opportunity to meet some of the executives, and their assistants, that you’ll be seeing more of in the months ahead.

Lyndie, I hope that you’ll be there too.

-G

***

“You look nervous,” Lyndie said, pressing the elevator’s ‘12’ button. The door slowly closed, sealing us inside.

“Can you blame me?” I asked. “Who knows how many of these ‘executives’ know about the baby stuff?”

“Or will know eventually,” added Lyndie with a little smirk.

“You’re not helping.”

The closer the elevator got to the 12th floor, the quicker my heart rate became. Who would be waiting for me in this conference room? More importantly: What would I be expected to do in front of them?

“If it helps,” Lyndie said, “I’m a little nervous myself.”

“You too?”

“Well, I’m not walking into a room of executives with a diaper on under my pants…”

“Thank you for the reminder.”

“...but it’s still a little nerve-racking. I mean, regardless of whether or not I like these people or respect their 6-digit salaries, that’s a lot of power in one place, right? I still feel like I need to make a good impression.”

“You just don’t want to be polite,” I teased.

“Probably not. Well, if you see me struggling, maybe you could just go and poop your pants for me or something. Take the attention off of me?”

“All pooped out, I’m afraid,” I said.

Despite having been put into a fresh diaper and spending some time outside after, I felt like I could still smell that foul nasty odor on me. I wondered if it was just in my imagination, or if the stench had somehow been absorbed into my clothing or pores.

“Do I still smell?” I asked.

She leaned in close to me, taking a sniff or two around me. I could smell her and her fresh application of body spray. Something lavender-y.

“I think you’re good,” she said, her tone almost suggesting that it was actually a question. “I think my nose is still fucked up from being so close to ground zero for a while earlier. But I think you’re good.”

I blushed and shrugged. Even if I was carrying around some unwanted scent with me, there was very little I could do about it.

The elevator dinged, indicating we had reached our destination. I almost wanted to reach out and grab Lyndie’s hand. I resisted–I needed to remember that, despite the diapers, I was still an adult. A young adult? The youngest adult.

We walked down the hallway to the entrance of the large conference room. The doors were closed, and we could hear muffled sounds coming from inside. Whatever was going on in there had already started. Any hope of sneaking into the room without drawing much attention to myself was squashed.

I took a deep breath. “Well, here goes nothing…”

I opened the door.

While I had no idea what I was expecting, I certainly wasn’t expecting this. It was so surprising– so overwhelming–that it was as if I had gone blind. My brain just decided to stop processing the things I was seeing. I needed to look at Lyndie and read her reaction for a better idea of how I was supposed to act. But her jaw had dropped open, and her eyes had grown large.

So it wasn’t just me–this was wild.

“And there he is, ladies and gentleman!” proclaimed Ms. Heller, standing at the far end of the conference room. “My new assistant, Clark Ashburn!”

Everyone was applauding and cheering.

I was looking around the room again, my vision coming back to me so that I could try and take it all in again.

This wasn’t a meeting, it was a baby shower. Across the wall behind Ms. Heller was a pastel blue banner with soft pink letters reading: “CONGRATULATIONS! IT’S A BOY!” Pink and blue crepe-paper streamers were strung back and forth between the walls. Balloons in the shapes of baby bottles, rattles and diapers.

A room of strangers, maybe 10 or so in total including Lyndie and I. Men and women in a range of ages, all dressed in their normal business attire–all of them staring at me and smiling as they clapped.

Ms. Heller left her desk at the long table and approached me, a baby blue sash in hand, She draped it over my head to hang it on my shoulder and across my body. ‘BABY BOY’ it read.

“I’m so glad you made it, darling,” she cooed to me. “Come, I want to introduce you to everyone.”

I glanced over at Lyndie one last time, hoping to still see that look of dumbfounded surprise that I felt. But she was smiling now, clearly amused by what was unfolding.

Ms. Heller took me by the hand, leading me up towards the head of the conference room table that she had been at when we entered. We began at the first chair on the left of hers, where the familiar face of Neve Beaufort was waiting.

“I believe you’ve already met Ms. Beaufort,” Ms. Heller said. “Our VP of Product Development?”

“Y-yes,” I said. “It’s a pleasure to see you again, Ms. Beaufort.”

She smiled, taking my hand in hers and shaking it firmly. “Gabrielle has been talking about you a lot. She’s so incredibly happy that you’ve joined us. Which, in turn, makes me incredibly happy. It is my hope that I get to see more of you.”

I nodded politely. “Thank you, ma’am. Likewise.”

“And sitting next to her,” Ms. Heller said, “is Ava Barton. She is Ms. Beaufort’s assistant. She’s a wonderful young woman. Cute as a button too, don’t you think?”

I felt my cheeks warming as I offered a slight nod in Ava’s direction. “Yes…”

“Mr. Ashburn and I met in the hall the other day,” Ava said to Ms. Beaufort. “So he kind of already knows that…” her voice trailed off, as if uncertain that she wanted to say it aloud.

“...the both of you wear diapers?” Ms. Beaufort said, finishing the thought for her. “Well that’s good. Avoids having an awkward conversation about it now.”

Ava’s face had gone as ghastly as I worried mine had. Ms. Heller was quick to notice though.

“Oh, no need to worry,” she said to the both of us. “I can assure you that everyone else in this room is already well aware of your diapers.”

This might have been the worst case scenario.

“Next, I’d like to introduce you to Darren Yang, he’s our CFO.”

While I probably wouldn’t call him ‘young,’ there was a youthfulness to him. He was fit. Clean shaven, well groomed and even better dressed. He looked like a model.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, young man.” He also took my hand and shook it with a strong grip that I almost couldn’t release myself from until he chose to let go.

“It is nice to meet you as well, sir.”

“I’m not sure if you know this or not, but Gabrielle here tends to be pretty picky when it comes to her assistants,” he said, his voice carrying a nonchalant smugness. “So you should feel pretty proud to have been chosen for this position.”

“I…I do, yes. It’s very much an honor.”

“You have to forgive him,” Ms. Heller said to the man, her hand resting on my shoulder like a parent trying to sooth their anxious child. “He’s rather new to this. He’ll come around.”

“They all do,” Mr. Yang said. “Sooner or later.”

We moved down to the next seat at the table. “And this is Megan Markley,” Ms. Heller said. “She’s Darren’s assistant.”

“And my pride and joy,” Mr. Yang interjected. I had no idea what that even meant.

Megan was beautiful, to a degree that seemed almost uncanny. Her hair seemed too perfect. Her vibrant makeup. Even her stunning black dress seemed mismatched for the environment–it felt better suited for a banquet than it did for just another day of work. It was hard to believe that she was an assistant and not a model pulled from an advertising campaign.

“It’s so nice to meet you,” Megan said with a girlish curtsy.

“And you,” I said, nodding. I wanted to look back at Lyndie again. I was dying to know what her reaction to all this was. But I kept my eyes focused where Ms. Heller wanted me to for the moment. I wanted to seem committed and engaged.

There was so much to take in, and it was all speeding past me. I wanted to know more about Megan, but I was being ushered forward to the next seat.

“And here we have Nancy Tamberlin,” said Ms. Heller. This was a name I knew I had seen before, but I couldn’t think of the context. “She’s our Director of Human Resources.”

Oh shit, I thought to myself. For one, that was probably where I had seen her name before–in the documentation for my internship. But, too, if the head of HR was involved in this weird little corporate game, it certainly seemed to suggest that these executives had some protection on their side. Perhaps this also explained the speed at which I was able to have my new position given to me.

“Hello,” I said to her. She was a little older, in her 50s, I’d guess. But there was a difference between normal-50s and rich-executive-50s. There was a healthy radiance about her, and a confident stance that rivaled Ms. Heller’s.

“Good afternoon, little boy,” Ms. Tamberlin said. “We’re all so happy that you could join us.”

I felt myself blushing again, hearing the executives giggling and chuckling at her little boy comment.

“Then, of course, we have Nancy’s assistant,” continued Ms. Heller. “This is Bradley Cobb.”

“H-hi,” Bradley said. It was a familiar sight–a young and naive look about him that reminded me of my own face when I looked into a mirror.

“You won’t find any diapers under his pants,” Ms. Tamberlin said. “Don’t get me wrong, he’d probably look adorable in them. But I’m not interested in changing them.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said to Bradley. I tried to make eye-contact with him, hoping to signal that we weren’t that different. We could be allies. He nodded, smiling, but said nothing else.

“He’s a little shy,” Ms. Heller said to me. “Well, with strangers. Nancy claims that he can eat her out for hours at a time. Not a bad skill to have, if you ask me. You two ought to connect and talk about that at some point.” This elicited more laughter.

I was then led to the last person around the table, a young woman sitting by herself with nobody sitting next to her.

“And last, but certainly not least, we have Troy Morris, our VP of Logistical Analysis. He’s a newcomer to our little group, and he doesn’t yet have an assistant of his own. But don’t you worry, we’re keeping our eyes open for someone who can be a perfect fit.”

“Good to meet you kid,” Mr. Morris said. He was a handsome man with some strong fatherly energy. Maybe it was his beard. To Ms. Heller, he said: “You gonna let me borrow him sometime? I’ll help break him in.”

“He’s delicate,” Ms. Heller said, laughing. “He’s not your type.”

I wondered what that meant his type would actually be, then.

“As a little bit of a bonus,” Ms. Heller said, leaving my side and walking over towards Lyndie, “there’s someone else I wanted to introduce everyone to. This is Lyndie Brown. She’s another intern, like Clark was. However, in a very short time, I’ve come to really admire her willingness and dedication in completing some tasks I’ve given to her. And I think we all might have a need for someone like her. I’m proposing a promotion for this young lady as well.” She turned to Lyndie directly. “Would you be interested in a full time position with the company?”

Lyndie nodded. “You certainly have my attention. What sort of position are we talking about? I’m not sure I’m the assistant-type…”

“No,” Ms. Heller said, laughing. “I don’t think so either. But we’d be putting some of those maternal skills of yours to good use.”

Maternal skills? Was she talking about how Lyndie changed my diaper earlier in the day?

“I’d like you to become our official babysitter,” Ms. Heller said. The other execs cheered and nodded at this announcement.

“Babysitter?” asked Lyndie.

“Well, we wouldn’t actually call you a babysitter. We’d give you some fancy title. Liaison to the Executive Team. Coordinator for Assistant Relations. I don’t know…we’ll workshop the name. But I think we could use someone in this position. Someone to check in with the assistants and to make sure their needs are being met during the day.

Neve Beaufort nodded. “Having less diapers to change could give me more time to direct my team.”

“And if it means I don’t have to change him, maybe it means that I start giving Bradley diapers to wear,” Nancy Tamblerlin said. Bradley’s face turned a deep pink color.

“What do you think?” Ms. Heller asked Lyndie.

Lyndie laughed, shaking her head in astonishment. I tried to predict how she’d answer, but I really had no idea what she was thinking. On one hand, she seemed to hate the corporate world, and this was an invitation for her to join it. On the other…she seemed to be enjoying her time spent with me in a diaper, and this was a lot more of that.

“I…I would be honored,” she said, laughing as if she could barely believe she was agreeing to this herself.

“Congratulations,” Ms. Heller said. “You’re our new Executive Babysitter.”

“And for your first order of business,” said Ms. Beaufort, I’ve got a little girl here who has been sitting in her soggy diaper for longer than she should’ve been.

I watched Ava’s face redden as she looked down to avoid making eye contact. There were a few more laughs and giggles erupting throughout the room.

“Aww, did you pee-pee in your diaper again, sweetie?” cooed Ms. Heller. She turned to me: “She does this all the time. The amount of money this company spends on diapers just for her is unbelievable.”

“I can certainly help with that,” Lyndie said.

“You can use my office,” Ms. Beaufort said to Lyndie. “Ava can show you the way.”

Ava slowly stepped away from her chair, walking past Lyndie to the door. Lyndie followed her and they were both gone soon after, the door closing behind them.

“Ah damn,” Ms. Heller said, shaking her head. “I should’ve checked your diaper too, Clark.”

“I…uhm…I’m fine.”

“Never trust a baby,” Ms. Beaufort said. “They’ll always insist they’re dry.”

“She’s right, of course,” Ms. Heller said. “Clark, be a good boy and pull your pants down for Mommy.”

“H-here?”

“Clark,” she said, doing her best to maintain a cheery disposition, while also adding a little sternness to her tone, “as my assistant, it is important that you follow all of my directions, at all times. Even if they make you nervous.”

“Your Mommy wouldn’t make you do anything that she didn’t think was safe,” added Troy Morris–the man who seemed to embody the concept of Daddy.

‘Safe’ was one thing. Humiliating was another, and that was what I was more concerned about. But it wasn’t like I was going to storm out of the room. As scary as it was, I still wanted all of this. And if Ava could do it–and Megan, and Bradley–then so could I.

I obediently unbuckled my belt and pushed my pants down my legs. It wasn’t the first time I had done that at work today, but it was certainly the first time I had a bigger audience for it.

“I thought you said you were dry,” said Ms. Heller, crouching down a little to inspect my diaper in front of the room.

In all fairness, I had said ‘fine,’ not dry. But she certainly wouldn’t want to hear that argument. I had, in fact, wet my diaper again–somewhere around the time Lyndie and I were walking towards the elevator to come to this meeting. It didn’t feel like a heavy wetting at the time, but I was sure that the diaper looked visibly wet, judging by the amused giggles spreading throughout the boardroom table.

“Go on then,” Ms. Heller said to me. “You’ll have to run and catch up with Lyndie and Ava. Tell Lyndie that she’ll need to take care of your diaper too.”

“Y-yes…” I wanted to say ‘ma’am,’ but by the time I got to the word, something else entirely slipped out, “...Mommy.”

But Ms. Heller’s eyes seemed to be beaming, and she leaned forward, kissing me on the forehead. It was all I needed, really. It was like being blessed by an angel–it was the motivation I’d need to do anything she ever asked me to do.

“Go. Get your diaper changed, Baby.”

I immediately ran out the door.