Blog: Of Apple Jacks and Humiliation (Patreon)

This week, someone on Tumblr asked me:

I'm actually curious, if I may.....what is it about humiliation that turns people on? I could look up the kink, read it for myself, but I'd truly honestly prefer it from the horses mouth so to speak. Is it the taboo-ness of the situation? The degradation ? The submissiveness? As an abdl myself, I've never personally found humiliation to be enjoyable, as I see my Little space as an extension of my own being, and therefore nothing to be ashamed of. But that doesn't mean I can't learn to understand another person's perspective. I do enjoy reading your stories and captions, and would very much like to get your insight into this specific side of the "kink", as it may better help me write stories about it in the future and appeal to a wider audience, as I can safely say that combinine "humiliation" with "abdl" DEF gets more reads. : )

And I went off on a pretty long tangent about it, which I thought I'd share with y'all too:

At the risk of aging myself considerably, there were these commercials on TV when I was a kid for Apple Jacks cereal. And while the setting and characters frequently changed, the ‘plot’ was always the same: A bunch of kids were sitting around, eating cereal (as kids do), and then some adult–maybe a parent, teacher, or some other vaguely authoritarian figure–would approach and ask: “Why would you eat a cereal called Apple Jacks if it doesn’t taste like apples?” And the kids would all look at each other for a moment before finally answering: “We eat what we like!”

And so, first of all: Frig off, Dad, for judging your kids’ tastes in cereal.

But, uh, back to your point: People just eat like what they like. Obviously. And I’m sure you know this already. It sounds like you’ve put a bit of thought into it, and have considered a lot of the potential talking points that a fan of humiliation would bring up.

Likewise, I have the opposite conflict that you have–I struggle with the concept of ‘little space.’ I get what it is and I admire the ability for someone to just embrace that part of themself. But it’s a headspace that I either can’t commit to myself, or one that I just don’t derive as much pleasure from.

Actually, if you get the chance, I’d love to hear more about your experience with little space and how it works for you when it’s more a natural extension of yourself.

Regarding my own tastes with humiliation, I think you’ve already touched on some good beats. Taboo, for one, is a strong factor. I genuinely love the juxtaposition and contrariness of deriving pleasure from situations that are frowned upon by the public at large. The rejection of diapers and infantilistic traits in adults, in particular, feel so hardcoded into society. Potty training is one of the very first accomplishments a child has in their life, right? A 5 year old in diapers is frowned upon, let alone a 25 year old. And so in most of my stories, the would-be diaper-wearing protagonist is immediately pitted against the rest of the world, who could never begin to understand or tolerate this desire.

But you know what I really think it is? And it seems obvious–but it didn’t actually occur to me until I was midway through typing an especially wordy paragraph about vulnerability…

Control. Specifically, the lack of control. Humiliation, even when implemented in a closed space with your most trusted partner, is about reacting to chaos. Did Mommy suddenly decide that you were a bad baby who needs a spanking? Humiliation. Did you somehow get dragged out in front of an entire frat party while wearing just a diaper? Humiliation. Did your boyfriend stumble upon your secret stash of pacifiers under the bed? Humiliation.

Humiliation even works when you’re left to your own devices. Wearing diapers at home while your clueless loved ones are out–knowing they could be back any moment. Wearing diapers in public with the ever-present risk of being exposed and noticed. Hell, even if you actually chose to wear your diapers out in public and purposefully expose them to strangers [PLEASE DO NOT DO THIS], you’d still have no control over what their reaction would be.

There’s other tangents and details, but maybe that’s the core of it: Taboo + Sacrificed control = profit.

But also, just eat like what you like.

But I invite everyone else to chime in too: What do you like about humiliation? Why does it work for you? And if you’ve got some thoughts on reaching a more ‘pure’ and less humiliating little space, I’d love to hear about that too.