At Your Expense [Archive][A Quick One] (Patreon)

Can I be totally honest with you?  There was a time when I found you to be quite charming.  I suppose a part of me still does.  But I think you’ve become quite complacent with how accepting I was with your little...interests.  I still remember how your eyes lit up the first time I put you into one your babyish diapers.  Part of me wishes I had known then just how obsessed with this infantile lifestyle you would become, but I’m also quite pleased with the opportunities it's given me.

While you’ve been crawling around and making stinky diapers, I’ve been having some fun at your expense.  Have you not noticed my new shoes?  My new dresses?  They’re certainly not to impress you with.  I guess you can say I’ve been shopping around for some fun of my own.

Now don’t give me that pouty lip.  You’ve brought this upon yourself.  I’m not the one who insists on exclusively using baby bottles for everything they drink.  I used the toilet this morning; have you?  Do you even know how anymore?  I had a thought to call your mother and tell her that I needed her help in potty training you again.  Don’t panic, I didn’t actually do that. I’m not sure what the point would even be. Why should you be anything other than a toddler?

Don’t worry yourself too much though, I’ll be leaving you in good hands while I’m out with some of my new friends this week.  Do you remember my niece Missy?  With college done for the semester, she’s been looking for work.  She has years of experience in babysitting, so when I told her what I needed she was a little skeptical.  But in the end she agreed, though her rate isn’t going to be cheap.  Not a big deal, I figured, since you’re the one paying for it.

That seems like a fair trade off, doesn’t it?  I’ll finally get my social life back, and I get to be pleasured by men who haven’t soiled themselves in the last half hour.  Meanwhile, you get to continue to live out your fantasies of being a pathetic man-toddler.

Besides, when you consider...uhm...phew...Is that you?  Oh lord, it is!  Unbelievable.  It's like you can’t even control it anymore. You smell rotten!  Well, look, you’re going to have to stay like that for a bit.  Missy’s on her way, and I really should get ready to go.  Be a good baby for her.  I will not hesitate to take you over my knee when I get home if I hear you’ve been a brat.  My new friend Tom might just take you over his knee too.

Oh, right, I should have mentioned that too.  He’ll be spending the night here after we’re done drinking.  It should be a big deal for you.  You can stay in the crib tonight.  Maybe from now on?

Ugh, seriously, you are rank, baby.  Try not to roll around too much.  Missy already has her work cut out for her and I don’t want to completely terrify her.

Be good.

As always, archival stories are re-edited and expanded versions of stories previously posted to the public. This version of this story is exclusive to my Patrons.