In a Beautiful Place Out in the Country, Chapter 9 (Patreon)

I froze in my tracks, unsure of what the protocol was. I was staring at her...but maybe I shouldn’t have been staring. My eyes darted everywhere while I wondered where I was supposed to be looking. What was I supposed to be doing? Should I be saying anything?

Hey, you’re doing a good job! Keep it up!

No, saying anything at all was likely a bad idea.

I caught glimpses of her as I tried to find the right angle to just stare into nothingness and give her some privacy. Even when I finally fixed my stare down the long empty trail ahead of us, I could still see her out of the corner of my eye. I could’ve turned my gaze further from her...but my curiosity prevented me from doing so.

Her legs were bent slightly to squat and her face had turned red as she pushed her load into the diaper. Admittedly, I wanted to see her backside. I wondered if it was possible to see the diaper expand under her tight pants as she filled them.

“Okay,” she said finally. It was a far more chipper tone than I had expected for someone who just pooped their pants in front of someone.

“Okay?”

“I mean...it’s done,” she said with a shrug. “Ready to continue?”

“You...you’re just going to hike with your diaper like that?”

She shrugged again. “I mean, I can change in a little bit. But...I dunno...I just…” She blushed before turning away from me and heading back down the trail.

I quickly jogged up behind her, placing my hand gently on her shoulder. “I’m not judging, you know. It’s your butt. It’s your diaper.”

She laughed. “Sometimes...when I hear myself talk about it, or I have this moment where I can almost see myself from another perspective, I just feel silly about it all. But thank you.”

“How much further?” I asked, changing the subject. “To the tracks?”

“Oh, not much longer,” she said. “Half a mile? Honestly, probably less than that. As far as you can see down the trail now - that’s right about where there’s a hill. We’ll go down the hill and the trail merges with the tracks.

The trees formed an almost perfect canopy over the trail, blocking out the bright sun while giving the forest floor an almost enchanted feel. Once again, I found myself completely in awe of the beauty of nature around me.

We talked about music and concerts we had been to. She talked about the guitar she owned - and broke while trying to imitate Joe Strummer. Not to be outdone as a failed musician, I shared the saga of my six drum lessons before being told by the instructor that “not every instrument is for everyone.”

We reached the railroad tracks, as promised. The ground on either side of the tracks were still caked in old bits of coal. Occasionally, I’d catch a whiff of Kat’s diaper, which was somehow able to pierce the fresh breeze on the trail, and I’d be reminded that I was walking with a grown woman who had just shit herself. It was strange how normal that was starting to feel.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” I said. “But I guess I’m curious where your, uh, lifestyle came from.”

“That’s a good question,” she said. “I’m not even sure. I think some form of this interest was with me my whole life. And over the years, I just found myself testing how far I wanted to take it. Did I want to sleep with a stuffed animal? Did I want to drink out of a sippy cup? Did I want to try a diaper? And then...ta-da!”

I remembered our conversation in the barn loft. “You said that you met Madison online?”

“Yeah,” Kat said. “I...I was selling content online. I don’t think it was the most extreme stuff, mostly just me doing cute little things in my makeshift nursery. I had this little following from guys and, you know, they wanted to give me money...and who was I to say no.”

“Was it good money?”

“I was working a full time job too, so it just felt like...extra fun money, you know? But it wasn’t bad. The diapers and the baby stuff...people bought it for me, so it was like it paid for itself. And that went on for a year or two, and then Maddy reached out to me.”

“Wow. Like...she followed your videos and reached out to you?”

“I guess,” she shrugged. “I think she fell down a few online rabbit holes and she ended up seeing me. And, you know, guys reached out to me everyday. I tried to talk to the more polite ones, but even that was just challenging to do when there was so many. But then she reached out to me. And not only was she a woman, but she treated me like a human. Like, right away, we just established this friendship. She cared about me and always went out of her way to make sure I was okay. And we grew closer and closer until it just made sense to live together.”

“And then came the farm and all that,” I said.

“Exactly. We make videos together now. It just made sense. I was running around in diapers anyways. If people want to see that...why not show them? My hope is that there are people out there who find it inspirational, and end up expressing whatever weird kinks they have too.”

“I’m not sure if it's great for the nation’s air quality,” I teased, “if everyone is filling their diapers like you are.”

Her cheeks became rosey and she turned away with me with a laugh. “Is it that bad?”

“I was just joking.”

The truth, it occurred to me, was that if this was almost anybody else, at any other time, in any other place, I’d probably have been disgusted. I could imagine myself gagging or feeling uncomfortable. I wasn’t about to pretend that I loved the scent, but it seemed surprisingly tolerable.

“This is as good as any time for a change,” she said, slowing down as she removed her bag from her back.

“Is it hard to change your own diaper?”

“It’s not impossible,” she shrugged. “I had to do it for a long time before I lived with Maddy, so I’m well versed in it.”

She pulled out a small blanket from her bag which she unfolded onto a grassy area near the tracks. Placing a fresh diaper, a package of wipes and a small bottle of baby powder on the edge of the blanket before lying down on her back.

I turned away. I already worried I had seen too much. And while Lily’s words about trying new things and being open to anything were sounding off in my head, being a participant in Kat’s diaper change felt like it’d be jumping into the deepest end of the pool without knowing how to swim.

Behind me, I could hear the sound of her squirming out of her pants, her thick diaper rustling loudly. This was followed by the sticky tearing of her tapes from the side of the diaper.

“Is this weird?” she asked as she went about cleaning herself up.

“No weirder than you pooping your pants in front of me,” I said with a laugh.

“You’re a real trooper, Henry.”

“You know...maybe this is as good of a time as any to ask you something.”

“Oh?”

“I...uh, I have this curiosity about the diapers. And Lily certainly does too.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“Well, it's news to us too.”

“Both of you?”

“Well...I’m curious about wearing diapers. And Lily is curious about me wearing diapers too.”

“Are you going to put them on under your panties or over them?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but I didn’t have anything quite as sassy to say back.

“I’m kidding,” she said.

“Oh, I know. But maybe you should worry about cleaning your dirty bottom instead of poking fun at me.”

“Touche!”

There was more crinkling, and more loud tape noises as I assumed she was fixing her fresh diaper into place. More rustling, and some grunts as she pulled up her pants again.

Finally she was back on her feet, and I turned around to see her tying up a plastic bag full of a rather bulky bundled up dirty diaper.

“All good?” I asked.

“I make it look easy, yes? Though, Mommy would probably not be very happy about my cleaning job. I’m sure she’ll have something to say about that later.”

We both looked at each other with a grin, having realized that she so nonchalantly used “Mommy” instead of “Maddy” with me. She bashfully shook it off.

“So,” she asked me. “Do you want to get into your diaper now or later?”