Chapter 23: Humorous, Horse, Hoarse Man (Patreon)

Locating a particularly hidden thicket, I lay the raccoon corpse flat. It takes all my willpower not to engulf the raccoon and bask in the feelings its flavor provides. Still, I manage to resist my urges.

‘Aye, so now I shall begin attempting to acquire a medicinal skill. I shall try to apply my knowledge of the four humors to an animal. [1] It is a bit difficult to do to an animal, but I can certainly attempt to. Perhaps, the simple process of dissection will be enough.’

I glance at the cattail. Its tendrils are fully unwound and at the ready.

‘And since some force will be required, the cattail is my only option. However, using the cattail while examining the corpse and attempting to examine it medically should also help advance both Naturalist and the Whip skill. As for applying medicine to it, I hope to receive an Interim medical skill as well. First, I need something sharp.’

Covering the raccoon carcass in leaves, I roam the shadowy park hunting for something I can use as a dissection tool. Leaving the secluded area, I move toward the Terrace’s Arcade.

‘It seems as if it is rather cold. I imagine most people would not wish to be out in this weather. Which means now seems to be a good time to look at some of these tablets while also searching for something sharp. I believe there was one near the seed that was previously covered in snow.’

Arriving at the Terrace, I approach a tablet and brace myself for anything I might find. The tablet starts as such, “Landmarks of New York. Bethesda Fountain and Terrace”.

‘Bethesda Terrace is what the sign said on the rooms near the grand staircases. I suppose that is the name of this place… More importantly, what happened to the old York in England? Did a war revenge Yorkshire? There was the Pilgrimage of Grace, but that was a few decades before my birth.’ [2] I pause for a moment before simply shaking my head. ‘I do not know. I should just keep reading.’

Continuing the tablet talks about what I assume is this place, “Central Park,” as well as this place’s architecture. The final section leaves me quiet, “Installed in 1873 plaque erected 1965.”

‘...Aye. Although I am unsure of the exact date, this is the second tablet that seems to imply that it’s been nearly four hundred years. Perhaps even longer, who knows how old these tablets might be.’

Moving to the fountain, I sit. ‘Sitting really does not feel any different than standing, yet it is somehow calming.’

For a while in silence, I simply think about how to process the information. ‘I am glad I did not deal with it at the carousel; keeping it in the back of my mind helped a bit, I think. Still, I do not exactly know what to do or what to say. I know Earl told me the time was unknown, but I still did not believe it would be centuries. I left because I did not feel like I belonged in the world as it was in the past, but here might be even worse. At least in the past, I understood human society, but here I might as well be in a different world.’

Lifting my head and staring at the area where the seed is germinating, my thoughts shift.

‘But if I do not belong in the past nor the future, then I shall simply create a place I do belong— regret, confusion, fear, and uncertainty can all wait. I am alive, and regardless I am never allowing myself to return to the Tenebrous Place. I shall continue onward, despite the era I find myself. At the very least, I can make a single place that welcomes me warmly… I cannot allow this to distract me from my objective.’

Leaving the fountain, some time passes until I discover a brown glass bottle. I hesitate to break it, but the quality of the glass seems relatively low, and it does not seem to be treated particularly well. Thus I shatter the bottle and salvage two pieces of glass that shall assist me in my endeavor.

Returning to the raccoon carcass, tossing the leaves off, I prepare for the dissection. I am not actually certain how the Cosmic System decides I earned something, so I just act as if I am teaching someone about the humors.

‘Aye, Earl! As the only thing that has spoken to me in what has apparently been centuries, thou shall be my student! Of course, that fiendish Bishop does not count either! Now let us get started!’ I correct my posture and prepare to lecture Earl. ‘To begin, every person has a unique humoral composition. I should also mention that since it has been centuries, it is possible parts of my knowledge are outdated. Let us start with the most simple of the four “blood.”’

Taking the piece of glass, I awkwardly grip it with the cattail’s tendrils. Rather than dissecting the creature, it would not be wrong to state that I mangled it.

……

……

Time passes as the night fades and the sun rises, but I continue my lecture to Earl in tremendous and excruciating detail. Fortunately, I assume he cannot abandon me; otherwise, I believe he would do so.

‘So to recap for the tenth and final time. Blood is associated with the liver and a warm temperament. Yellow bile is associated with the gallbladder and an aggressive temperament. Black bile is associated with the spleen and a melancholic temperament. Finally, phlegm is associated with the brain, lungs, and a coy temperament.’

Lecturing on something I am passionate about, my mood has become dramatically improved.

‘Oh my, that was actually fun, Earl! Hmm, I know I said it was the last time, but let us actually go through everything once mo—’

‘We did it, Earl! It actually worked! Although, it’s odd that it did not give me other choices? Is there a reason it did not offer me a basic medicine skill and simply awarded me this one? Also, the description seems a bit demeaning as well. It states it is both crude and unexplored. I do not know if I agree with either of those… Nary a need to worry about it! I believe I spotted a squirrel during the lecture. Perhaps, I may locate it or a pigeon before beginning the next part of our lesson. After all, this does appear to be working to some extent!’

……

……

Hours pass as I continue to explain the principles of the four-humors to Earl. While doing this, I also attempt to manipulate the cattail doing difficult and convoluted movements with it. Additionally, I will also add what little I know about raccoons and my newest additions, squirrels, and pigeons, while also consuming the nearby plant life in between cutting. This is all an effort to raise as many of the skills as possible.

‘Aye! So as I stated previously, the nature of the soul follows the mixtures of the body! That is except for Phlegm, which is thought by some to not have any influence on an individual’s character. Phlegm was always a strange one, as it also contributed to odd things like white hair, which is why it is partially associated with old age.’

Feeling a bit mentally fatigued, I stop, believing it is approaching time for me to attempt other things. However, a blue wall appears, interrupting me.

‘Ha! Earl! I did so well that the Cosmic System even awarded me a second grade in the skill!...’

Quite happy, I proudly look toward the sunset with my arms raised in victory. Yet I am surprised by what I find.

’Wait? That is not a sunset; it is a sunrise. I thought the sun had already risen. Is it rising again? Nay, I certainly did not just spend an entire day and night dissecting these animals and lecturing Earl. Though I must admit, I am astonishingly famished now that I am not focused on the lesson.’

Checking my Erysichthon, I find it at eighty-one.

‘Good lord! How did I allow so much time to pass?! How did I not notice this!? Is it because I do not actually get tired physically, so I simply did not realize!? But…  what about the sun? I recall the sun rising, but if I remember correctly, the sun was blocked by a storm, and besides, my vision is typically the same regardless of time. More importantly, I am starved!’

I look toward the bloody mess I made while giving my lecture. Torn from my instructor’s daze, I am overwhelmed by the feeling of intolerable hunger. Dropping the brown glass, the cattail’s tendrils open and latch onto the carcasses. Steadily it draws each of them into itself. With the red-haze flowing into the shell, I savor the relief the savory feeling grants me.

Earl’s purple wall appears. ‘Oh, that was a generous amount, and I even attained two Essence. A bit unexpected as I have never attained any from normal creatures before. Odd, I will have to look into that later. Still, I must be more careful. If I had not been consuming all those plants for the Naturalist skill throughout the day and night, I might have inadvertently entered the frenzied state! How embarrassing that would have been!’

Suddenly, I hear someone talking nearby, causing myself to reflexively lower myself close to the ground. I move through the thicket, glancing back to find the grass seems to have died where I sat dissecting the animals for nearly a day. Once I arrive at the edge of the thicket, I use my hand to cover my eyes and listen in on the conversation taking place.

Two male figures stand away from the illumination of the lanterns. I cannot see the two very well. For the most part, I can only perceive one figure is rather large while the other seems awkward with poor posture.

The one with poor posture rubs the nape of his neck. “Y-yo. You the guy?” a young man’s voice cracks as he tensely asks.

The large figure crosses his arms. A hoarse voice coughs, replying, “Depends what’re ya lookin’ for?”

‘Oh? I believe I would recognize the behavior of miscreants regardless of the era. How fun! A performance after all of my hard work!’

“I-I expected you to have it with you.”

“How did you expect me to bring something so big here?” the hoarse voice asks with exasperation.

“W-whatever. How do you expect me to pay for it when I haven’t even seen it?” He fiddles with something through his pocket at his waist. “Will it even… y’know ‘get’ me there?”

“I sent you a picture this morning, remember!? I’ll also guarantee it’ll ‘get’ you there.”

“Yeah, it still had the Police harness on it still,” he murmurs to himself.

“What was that!?”

”Nothing! But! Can one horse really get me there!? Like, Is it really worth enough?”

‘A horse? Perhaps, I misheard. Though… generally, a horse will indeed ‘get’ someone somewhere. Still, why are they speaking as if this is something illegal? Are horses illegal now?’

“An adult Clydesdale horse is enough. I’d stake my reputation on it.”

“B-but, how much...” He pauses, taking a hasty look around. “How much Essence is it worth?”

“Shit, kid. Didn’t you do any research before contacting me? As I said, an adult Clydesdale horse has more than enough Essence to get you to level one. Guaran-damn-teed!” He puts emphasis on his vulgar language, holding out his palm, he rubs two of his fingers together. “Now, are you gonna buy the fuckin’ thing or what kid? I ain’t stickin’ round here much longer.”

‘Essence? These people are in the Beta! So... this young man is buying a horse to harvest the Essence from it? Do ordinary people level off of Essence? If that is the case, I certainly seem to be at a disadvantage… Not fair!’

The young man hesitates, stuttering, “I-I don’t know. M-my parents don’t even know I’m in the Beta. They think it’s all just people taking some new drugs and other dumb shit like that. Will they really understand why I’m doing what I’m doing?”

“Of course, anyone who didn’t get in wouldn’t want to believe they weren’t chosen,” the hoarse man’s voice declares.

“But, the System said it didn’t pick chosen ones…”

“You know what I mean, kid! It just means they lacked something that didn’t allow them into the Beta.” The hoarse voice huffs. “Goddam. This is a waste of time. Decide quick, kid! This System shit can be dangerous to talk about in the open, right now.”

“I-I…”

“Never look a gift-horse in the mouth, kid,” he laughs, “That joke was for free; now, I’m not waiting another millisecond.” Again he holds up his palm, waiting for the young man to, I presume, pay him.

The kid reaches into his pocket, fiddling with whatever it is. He looks toward the ground, his mouth opening and closing.

“Fuck it! Just forget it! I’m leaving!”

“Wait! Fine! I’m buyin’,” the youth shouts in a panic, “N-now, how are we gonna do this?”

“Just give me the gold. No paper like we talked about. I’ll give you an address and a syringe potent enough to down an elephant. Just inject it, it’ll close its eyes, and a few minutes later, you’ll get the prompt from the Cosmic System. Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” a throaty chuckle follows the person’s explanation.

“Alright, let’s do it,” the boy states eagerly, “Here, a two-hundred grams gold bar, for the Essence.”

The hoarse man laughs. “I’m sure your parents will understand why you stole from them in the future.” I can hear the rustling of items as the two people swap items. “Good. Now you go one way, and I’ll go the other. Careful to not let yourself be seen by anyone if you can avoid it.”

‘I never really considered it before now, since this place is already so strange, but something like the Cosmic System would certainly have significant effects upon the world. Anyway, it was a fascinating conversation, but I need to focus on my own means of gaining strength, and I doubt I shall be able to purchase Essence from anyone anytime soon. Though it would be nice to have someone to talk to for various reasons.’

Summoning the blue ‘Status’ wall, I check my mana and erysichthon values. Pondering my next course of action, I ultimately decide that tonight I shall search for a place to hide near this “Boathouse Cafe,” where I heard the wealthy student enjoy studying. If all goes well, I may find some reading material that I can use to study the subjects Earl recommended. In the meantime, I sneak about in the thicket listening in on any further conversations.

Once night arrives, I make my move.

‘All that time, spying, and I never did advance my Stealth.’

Sauntering across the lake in the snowy night as fast as the haze allows, it is seven hundred steps later when I find myself at a place that seems to be the ‘café’ I have been searching for.

It is quite beautiful and well lit, resembling a beacon in an otherwise gloomy place, much like the entirety of this city. Unfortunately for me, people seem to be on a patio outdoors enjoying a late-night banquet, so I lie down on the moonlit water and wait until the people decide to depart.

‘I have been unable to see the stars since I arrived here. Have they disappeared like the world I knew?’

Yet, as the time before, the silvery moon hangs high in the sky. Its reflection on the water encompasses me making it almost seem as if I am laying upon it. Around me, tiny snowflakes disturb the water creating tiny ripples upon the water.

‘...Aye. Even if I must do it on my own, I shall make my own place in this world. Perhaps that place may even have stars to keep the moon company.’

As I lie there, to my great surprise, a sweet and elegant voice rings in my head, “The spirit out on the lake, may I ask, what are you doing?”

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[1]. Humourism, the humoural theory or humouralism, was a system of medicine detailing the makeup and workings of the human body, adopted by Ancient Greek and Roman physicians and philosophers.

[2]. The Pilgrimage of Grace was a popular uprising that began in Yorkshire in October 1536, before spreading to other parts of Northern England, including Cumberland, Northumberland, and north Lancashire, under the leadership of lawyer Robert Aske. The "most serious of all Tudor rebellions," it was a protest against Henry VIII's break with the Roman Catholic Church, the dissolution of the lesser monasteries, and the policies of the King's chief minister, Thomas Cromwell, as well as other specific political, social, and economic grievances