Rebirthing // read plz (Patreon)

Sketching my Tril (main character, nyself)

Wanna say some things here just for supporters first.

The months of supporting and no updated were super important for me. I didn't draw, I had no commissions, the support sum was a part of my survival. And I think I got over my burnout line. I finally really WANT to draw!

The reason for the burnout in drawing was that I could not "break through my ceiling" and improve my skills. I've been treading water for many years, watching other young artists advance very quickly in this profession. After long attempts to fight with myself, I burned out for these 1.5 or 2 years already.

And all that I understand now is that in any craft you need to constantly LEARN. And mentoring is essential. I have always had a false belief that I know and can do a lot, but my skills left much to be desired, they said the opposite. Therefore, I want to come (return) to drawing gradually, abstracting from my past settings. I want to learn.

I want to get a new pipeline. I want to improve my skills.

I have several ideas, directions in which I want to develop and move now.

1. I've decided to start 3D from the very basics. The simplest base. This will allow me to:

a) see my drawings with 3D shapes (give me a better understanding of lighting);

b) I'll go back to CG with the least chance of burnout right away (because it's new to me, no cliches);

c) I want to buy a 3D printer soon, I was thinking about making unique exclusive collectible figurines, and probably also BJD dolls! I have some brilliant ideas for this.

2. At the end of September, I plan to go to study for a 1-month course on the topic Color, Light, Atmosphericity. I believe that now this is the very component that I lack to optimize my work to make it alive, conveying the mood, story, and in general a good color picture! I plan to study with a mentor.

This course will last 4 weeks and within the framework of the course I will need to work with my own project. Now I'm thinking that it could be, because I don't have any ideas yet. Maybe it will be a commission, but I'm not sure yet The image should be SFW only.

3. I want to make gift images for my customers who are patiently waiting for their orders. My clients are the best! Realistically, I'm really shocked that my clients aren't mad at me. At least I hope so. And I would like to give them headshots. Firstly, this is an "introduction" to drawing for me. Second is a practice for my hands after so much time. Thirdly, is it compensation? I hope this will be a nice bonus. I would love to.

4. I really want to "reset". Start a new point of reference. My rebirth. I want to reset my Boosty and Patreon, revive my deleted VK group (or create a new one). The environment is changing, social media are changing. Now there are so many artists, they have so many subscribers, and who am I? I have nothing. But I would like to start from scratch. To understand what I'm really worth.

I even thought about changing my nickname, even starting as a new artist? But I don't know how tough it will be.

I'm alone for now. My marriage is on the verge of breaking up. BUT My depression gone. I would really like to get some support at a time like this. I need an advice or your opinion. What do you think? I don't know am I ready for criticism, but I think the most important thing is to be honest. Therefore, I ask: if possible, comment this post to let me understand am I thinking right things now.

Best regards, Tril