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Going Fulltime on YouTube Update #3 - 6/6/18 (Patreon)

Published:
2018-06-06 18:22:53
Imported:
2021-12

Content

This is going to be tough for me to write but I can't hold it in anymore or I'm going to explode. Working at my job is killing me bit by bit. My job was my WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE for 4+ years where I would stick my tail between my legs and bow in the presence of my boss. I thought that was okay and was always too afraid to speak up in fear of being fired. 

I do social media work for a living and people have no idea how much hard work and dedication goes into it. But they also have no idea how straining and destroying it can be. Like today my boss CC'ed someone in an email who is a hot-shot in the publishing company because she always does this to be passive aggressive and get me to do my work faster. I don't even make enough to survive or pay for the bills and after work I just cry because it's hell on earth. I can't go into detail but it's full-blown emotional abuse.

When I put in extra effort I make like what an extra $50 for work that took over 5 hours to do. When I ask for help I get ignored. I put so much effort into supporting that company and I just can't do it anymore. The only reason I am staying is because it's an extra form of income and one that I know will be steady. 

Some of you may even remember how I talked about my job in the past and included it in older videos. Some of you may remember how I was a completely different person because of my job. And some of you may remember how I wore a fake smile in the efforts to try and say "Everything is fine. Everything is okay." 

Well I can't do it anymore. Everything is NOT okay. My stress levels are the highest they have ever been, I am losing weight and sleep and my anxiety is sky high because of this job. So I'm asking for help. I've reached that point in life where I am basically desperate and trying to find a way to make YouTube my fulltime career so I won't have to suffer with this job anymore. 

My boss has that split personality where one day you are best friends and the next you are trash. And for so long I would wear that fake smile, nod my head and become a little puppet everyone could control. I need help. I need an out and I need a new life before it all comes crashing down again. I'm worth more than what my boss thinks I am. 

Thank you for letting me vent. Love you guys. 

Comments

Anonymous

I’m so sorry for how hard your job is on you, Katya. I admittedly haven’t had a full-time job, so I don’t have much advice I could give you. All I can say, is that maybe you should quit your job. I know it could make your financial situation even worse, but staying there isn’t worth constant stress and emotional abuse. You are a strong person and shouldn’t have to put up with crap like that just to get paid, especially if you’re not getting much in the first place. Everyone in the squad knows how much you’re dealing with right now and I really wish I could take all your troubles away, but I can’t. What I can do is tell you to stay strong like you always have and hope that things will get better. Again, I don’t know if quitting your job will only make things worse, but struggling to find another job might be better than not making much on a job that only makes you miserable. I’ll keep supporting you here and on your channel, which hopefully will keep helping bit by bit. You’ve dealt with so much and hopefully, you won’t have to go through too much more until you’re truly happy. Good luck with whatever you decide and I wish the best for you.

Anonymous

Yeah I know what that's like, up until a little over a year ago I'd been working 50-60 hours a week in factories doing manual labor and feeling like my life was going nowhere since I was 18. Then I decided to go back to school to pursue an IT career like I've always wanted, and even though I'm still working and stuff now it's been worth it just knowing that things are moving forward and I'm slowly working towards doing what I want to do. I know it's really far from easy right now, but as hard working and dedicated as you are, I know all of this will be worth it and you'll end up doing what you want to do with your life and being exactly where you want to be. You got this Kat, keep moving forward.

Anonymous

We love you Katya, we're behind you on this. I know EXACTLY how this feels, it's what I go through with my boss every day. He's extremely condescending and rude one day, then super nice the next. You're not alone in this. If you need to leave this toxic job, then that's what you gotta do. It's not healthy to deal with that crap. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to reach out and ask for help, this will just be the first step in your journey to a better, healthier and happier life! 😊

AllAgesofGeek
>>12893614

Thank you. Yeah, trust me I've looked for other jobs, especially ones I can do from home but the end result always gets me no where. I'm always looking for jobs that are either about production, voice acting or something that won't make me do the "dirty work" for other people. Like everyone at my job acts like everything is a-okay but it's not. They have no idea what goes on behind the scenes. Especially people who see the company and say "Wow, this is amazing!" And I'm like "Yeah, don't you know whose idea that was." or "Do you really know what went on to get that up there?" I know things will fall into place one day but it's so, so stressful right now enough where enough is enough. It's been too many years of stress and I've reached that point where I'm fed up and ready to move on. And thank you for letting me vent.

David Cleveland

Love you too, Kat! I've said it before and I'll keep saying it again and again; I personally will keep offering what little I can for the long haul to make your dream of doing YouTube a reality! :)

Anonymous

See this is when I wish I could hug you and send you a care package. Come live here with me in England! I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I’ll keep supporting you whatever and wherever you go. You’re such a kind and positive soul and you don’t deserve to be going through half of what you are. If I could click my fingers now and make Youtube your full time job I’d do it a thousand times over. You’ll get there. I just wish you could find another job that’s kinder for now. The world of work can be a nasty place. I do hope you find solace in it soon gorgeous. All my love <3

Anonymous

Stay strong Kat. One day you'll look back and laugh at that place. You can do anything you set your mind to.