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I've started, like, five different articles about my relationship with Maggie and how and why it happened, because I feel like there's a lot *there* you know? It's an unusual experience from which I feel I learned a lot about myself and relationships. But distilling those lessons into an article (or three) has proved difficult. And distilling those even further into an actual pitch has been...really fucking hard.

Not counting the time I spent agonizing over it yesterday and this morning, it took me three hours to write these three hundred words. So I'm hoping Playboy picks it up because they pay well. If not, I'm pretty sure there are other places I can send almost the exact same pitch to.

The Pitch:

I recently started dating my fiancé’s girlfriend, which was especially  surprising since I’d been hugely jealous of her just half a year ago.  Our transition from rivalry to relationship took a lot of work, but it  was work that we had to do on our own and together. My fiancé also had  to work, in a way that men are often not taught to do. He had to make  himself not interfere.
Men are raised to be leaders, to be problem  solvers, to offer an opinion even if it’s not informed or asked for.  This can get you very far in many respects, but it’s not always the best  way to deal with other people and their feelings.

I’d like to  write an article about how the best way to help someone is usually to  shut up and listen, then ask if there’s anything that person wants you  to do, and then doing only what they ask you to. While this sounds  inactive, it’s actually very difficult. It’s hard to watch people you  love struggle and not step in to stop it. It’s hard to trust that  someone else knows their situation better than you do. It’s hard to give  up the control you get from helping someone. 

I think this could  be a great addition to Playboy's Society vertical. While I can’t  guarantee that learning this skill will get your readers all the  threesome sex they want, but it would certainly increase their chances.  It’ll also help them deal with a wide range of sticky emotional  situations, and avoid the dreaded label of Mansplainer.

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