New Project (Patreon)

The only ways I know how to cope with feelings of inadequacy are to  spiral down into self hatred or up my game. So on Tuesday I did first  one, then the other. Once I was done having a fit, I admitted to myself that I was so upset, not because of the money (ok, a little because of  that) but more that I felt like [redacted]'s talent for making the mundane interesting made her a better writer than me and I was just someone who's had a lot of interesting experiences. And, while it's debatable that she is a better  writer, what's not debatable is that having a bunch of interesting  experiences is more fun. 

Self-loathing spiral out of the way, it was time to up my game. My piece getting as much praise as it did confirmed for me that this story should be a book. But I still wasn't  sure how to fit it all into a book. There was a lot going on that year and they all fed into each other's conflict and drama. There's also the backstory of where we lived and why we didn't fit in there. And why my mom didn't think it was all that weird for her husband to want to crossdress sometimes. I didn't know where to start or even who the protagonist would be.

BUT I was planning on seeing a friend later that night. She's a  professional writer who teaches story structure so I figured I could  talk it out with her. The first thing she said was "I don't think this is a book. I think it's a movie." And she's right. A lot of the stuff that I think makes the story unwieldy can be shown or touched on visually, rather than explained like they would be in a book. 

I think I was only thinking of this as a book because I *know* how you sell a book but screenwriting and selling is a whole other process. Luckily, this  same friend grew up in Hollywood and her family is mostly screenwriters  and producers so, at the very least, she can talk me through the  process. And, if it doesn't make it as a screen play, it becomes a very detailed outline for a book.

So now I have a big new project to work on. Along with all those other ones.