Chapter 733 unedited unmemed (Patreon)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRtc5WhOxixzd6hObqs4FfAiexzmSYANkgdT5LC3khg/edit?usp=sharing

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Just because I’m paranoid doesn’t mean people aren’t out to get me.

In the days following my meeting with Shuai Jiao, I spent many a waking moment reviewing my memories and breaking down every possible nuance of every word, action, and expression. You know, like I usually do with every other social interaction I take part in, just more in-depth because it was a really important meeting. Normal stuff, nothing out of the ordinary here, but after the initial relief of having avoided murder and bloodshed passed, I discovered that no matter how I went about it, the math just never added up. I’m not talking about means and motives or words and actions, but plain, simple numbers. Jeong Hyo-Lynn, Da’in, and Seoyoon makes three participants, four if Geom-Chi had come along to the meeting. Even though he didn’t, I’m still going to count him just because, while Shuai Jiao and Yong-Jin make six. Six people to sit in on the meeting, under the protective cover of a newly-built pagoda, one so new it didn’t even have a coat of varnish, and the same could be said for the table and chairs. Now, I’m no expert on construction, but varnish seems like a pretty vital step for an outdoor structure made of wood, so it’s safe to assume the whole thing was really a last minute addition to the courtyard, likely to avoid getting shot by MuYang from afar.

So, my question is, if everything was built for this one meeting, why were there so many empty chairs?

The moment this thought crossed my mind, I almost immediately dismissed it, because there’s nothing stopping Shuai Jiao from using his furniture again in the future, so what’s stopping him from throwing a dinner party for... however many guests he can seat at the table.

Then it hit me. I could not for the life of me remember how many chairs were at the table. Definitely more than seven, as I wasn’t sitting directly beside anyone, but the exact number escaped me. That was the first clue that something was wrong, my inability to remember all this single, minor detail. The total number of chairs seems like such a small thing to forget, but once my attention was drawn to this discrepancy, I realized I couldn’t even remember how many chairs were between me and Seoyoon, or between Shuai Jiao and Jeong Hyo Lynn. I know there were definitely empty seats, as in more than one, but beyond that, my memory is a blank. I even remember finding it odd that the two parties sat so far apart, as that seemed like a strange way to discuss a marriage, but that’s as far as my thought process went. Maybe the pressure had gotten to me and I didn’t bother counting seats, or maybe I derped and dismissed it as an unimportant detail, except I was there for a decent amount of time telling my story and I spent the entire time on high alert.

So how did I spend all that time worrying about a fight breaking out without measuring the distance between me and my closest threats?

Once I stumbled across this loose thread, I was compelled to tug at it until things made sense again. I obsessed over the details and questioned everything that happened, like why was Monk Happy there, ready and waiting to answer my question at the drop of a hat? At the time, I assumed it was because he was following me around like the busybody he is. I mean, he did it during the boat ride over while I was asking Dad about Mila’s disappearing and reappearing nausea, but what I didn’t notice until after the fact is that Monk Happy appeared behind yet another empty section of seats. Not too close to me but not too close to Shuai Jiao either, which was something I noted, and this resulted in dividing us into four, neat little groups, with myself, the Ryos, Shuai Jiao, and Monk Happy each occupying one fourth of the table.

Except I didn’t know Monk Happy was there until he dropped Concealment, yet I positioned myself as if he were already there, standing and Concealing himself at one quadrant of the table. If he’d accompanied me into Shuai Jiao’s manor, then it would stand to reason that his Concealment wouldn’t affect where I chose to stand or sit from the get go, and thus I’d have picked somewhere equidistant from both parties and divided the table into thirds. Except I didn’t, which leads me to believe that Monk Happy must have already been present and Concealed at the table before I arrived, a possibility which gave me an entirely new thread to tug at.

The why doesn’t matter. In for a penny, in for a pound, so either I can’t trust all monks, or they had a valid reason to be there. No, what’s important is that if Monk Happy was already sitting in on the meeting, then who else was there? I don’t mean other monks, because it makes no real difference if Monk Bones or the other Wisdoms were there too. However, after reviewing everything in agonizing scrutiny, I now believe there was a fifth party present at the meeting. I’ve no real proof, but plenty of suspicions. While I got a big laugh out of seeing Shuai Jiao jump out of his chair when he noticed Siyar standing behind him, I didn’t notice how strange his reaction was until early next morning, when I was poring over my memories of the event and discovered yet another thread to pull at.

I’m not talking about the jump scare, but rather his movements after, as his initial thought was not to attack or escape from his assailant, nor was it to cover his Disciple sitting to the right of him. Instead, he moved left to stand between Siyar and the empty seats and took a defensive stance, a move which makes no rational sense whatsoever. Why waste the effort to sidestep before turning to face his assailant? It wasn’t to dodge, because Siyar positioned himself between Jeong Hyo-Lynn and Shuai Jiao, meaning the Commander General would’ve been moving towards an unseen attack. Nor was it panic, because a man like Grasping Vine Shuai Jiao does not panic when faced with assassins, even after accounting for the fact that he is not accustomed to being surprised by Concealed enemies. No, he his a man who keeps cool under pressure, which means that as soon as he registered the threat, he made what he believed were the appropriate moves to guard against it. He moved to guard a bunch of empty chairs, which tells me that there was definitely someone Concealed there, in between Shuai Jiao and Jeong Hyo-Lynn, someone important enough to make the Commander General risk his life and the life of his Disciple to save them.

Which means I was all but certain there was an Imperial Scion sitting in on the meeting, and I would bet my left nut that said Scion was Shen ZhenWu. If it was an Imperial Divinity, Shuai Jiao would not have been so worried, though I suppose it could’ve been the Grand Marshal or Prime Minister or something. No wonder Shuai Jiao wasn’t concerned about me going to the Disciplinary Corps, because he had the real Legate right there to denounce all my ‘lies’ and turn the tables around on me. In fact, Shuai Jiao even revealed his entire plan, though inadvertently through his questions. He expected me to burst into the meeting raring for a fight, a hotheaded young man reliant on my high ranking supporters, deadly assassins, and powerful Ancestral Beasts to get my way, but I never had any intention of butting heads in the open. That’s why I expressly asked Old Wolf to keep the People’s Ancestral Beasts at the Northern Citadel, save for Hua Lie who never leaves Lin-Lin’s side, and barged into his manor with only Jorani in tow, where I introduced him as a distraction while MuYang played a similar role up on the rooftops without his Spiritual Weapon. I did all this because I wanted to give Shuai Jiao something to contend with so he wouldn’t look for my real hidden dagger, Siyar. Those were my reasons on paper, but I also wanted so desperately to make things work between me and the Commander General, because I did not want to order the assassination of a good man.

A generous gesture which might well have saved my life, because Shuai Jiao’s plan was both simple and frighteningly effective.

See, for the last two months, I’ve been throwing my weight around due to Lin-Lin’s advice and relying more on the stick than the carrot to get my way. She thought I was too nice, and she was right, but I might’ve overcompensated a bit. Still, this new approach was working up until a point, and Shuai Jiao sought to take advantage. Assuming it was Shen ZhenWu seated between Jeong Hyo-Lynn and the Commander General, then barging into the manor with swords drawn and bows bent would’ve sealed my fate. Even though I hold the rank of Legate, if my former superior were to ‘fortuitously’ return to find me fostering dissent with the Commander General at the risk of civil war, then he’d have all the public justification he’d need to strip me of my rank, which would be the least of my worries. Had I shown up with Dad, Grandma, Grandpa Du, Nian Zu, and all the other heavy hitters in my corner ready for a fight, Shen ZhenWu could’ve even conceivably had us all drawn up on charges for conspiracy to commit murder against an Imperial Scion, even though none of us knew an Imperial Scion would be present at the manor. The punishment for which, I might add, is Nine Familial Extermination, meaning they could’ve removed me and the most dangerous elements of the North all in one fell swoop.

A thought which is both terrifying and rage-inducing at the same time. Come at me all you want, but why you gotta involve my family too?

The whole meeting was an elaborate trap set for me, my family, and my strongest supporters, one Shuai Jiao expected me to charge headlong into because I’d just spent so many weeks playing the part of a hot-headed, power-crazed fool. He even invited the Brotherhood to witness my crimes, or at least I assume that’s why they were there, or maybe he just wanted them close to keep them from warning me of the danger. Either way, I can’t trust the monks anymore, nor can I even myself, because I came to a realization recently, one that has chilling implications. Ever since I took up Lin-Lin’s advice, Luo-Luo has constantly bemoaned my aggressive actions and been advising me to ease back, but I was having fun going full throttle with my newfangled power and reputation. Was this a natural progression of events, or were my thoughts subtly guided towards conflict and aggression through some skill akin to Zhen Shi’s whispers? All of my actions and decisions seemed justified in the moment, but after stumbling across these disturbing revelations, I had to question every thought and decision I ever made.

Again. Because one master of mind manipulation isn’t enough. Seriously.

Have I been indulging in lust because I have three beautiful wives, or because someone wanted me to lose myself in pleasure?

Have I been swinging my metaphorical dick around because it makes things easier, or was it all an effort to alienate me from possible supporters?

Is my ambition to retake the west driven by empathy for the captured prisoners, or a devious ploy to convince me to commit significant Imperial forces to a lost cause and create a weakness where there was none?

I spent days searching my memories for signs of manipulation, but try as I might, I was unable to identify even a single intrusive thought or out of character decision, so if someone is influencing me, they’re a lot better at it than Zhen Shi. Sure, I’ve been hornier, angrier, and more bloodthirsty of late, but I had good reasons to explain it all. Of course, being unable to find proof of a subtle and insidious plot against me wasn’t enough to lay my concerns to rest, as I’ve never needed proof to indulge in paranoia. Instead, I stayed alert and continued to push the envelope to make my enemies think that I escaped their trap through sheer luck and happenstance. All the while, I tasked MuYang with tracking every important Officer of Central and various luxury goods sold in an attempt to uncover proof of Imperial Scions being present in Central, and continued monitoring my foes for signs of deception, but alas, nothing came of our efforts. Well, Luo-Luo eventually was forced to take a stand and made me back down from having a merchant executed for failing to fulfill a much needed contract for rations, but she made a good argument and I went with it. Otherwise, the days passed without incident as my hyper-vigilance went unrewarded, leaving me to wonder if I was actually wrong and no Imperial Scions were out to get me.

Right up until I walked into Fung’s rented room at the Goose and the Gander, which is a mid-tier establishment at best. It wasn’t the demand that my drunk friend pay his tab before racking up more debt which clued me in, a dumb business decision considering everyone pays eventually to avoid the shame of having the world learn about how they skipped out on a brothel bill and all the unsavoury rumours which would undoubtedly follow. Nor was it the six thugs looming over my friend in undisguised threat, something no lowly whorehouse guard would dare do to a young master of Fung’s wealth, status, and strength. No, what tipped me off to something fishy going on was the flawless Miss Ruo sitting on Fung’s bed, a gorgeous, city-destroying beauty who would never be caught dead cat-calling from a bordello window. All the cheap clothing and gaudy make-up in the world couldn’t hide her breath-taking allure, for even if she had been sold into slavery against her will, there’s no way a place like the Goose and the Gander could’ve afforded her. Miss Ruo is a classical beauty who, in terms of price, was likely worth more than the entire establishment which supposedly employed her, so how could the brothel afford her contract in the first place, much less put her up for sale?

Serious, this girl is almost as gorgeous as Luo-Luo, and while no one would mistake them for twins or even sisters or cousins, they share many of the same facial features, with the same wide eyes, narrow jaw, round, rounded cheeks, and delicate nose. The major difference is my Imperial Consort has a lovely little beauty mark under her eye which really brings all her facial features together into what can only be described as perfection. Also, Luo-Luo definitely has bigger boobs, so Miss Ruo just cannot compare, and personally, I find Mila, Yan, Lin-Lin, and Li-Li all more attractive than this basic jade beauty. I think Ruo is even supposed to be homonym for ‘Jade’, though Fung’s drunken slur made it sound like he was calling her ‘Miss Meat’, which is rude and sexist, but still too funny not to laugh at.

Having noticed all this and more, it came as no great surprise when the thugs turned out to be assassins, though I admit I might’ve blinked once or twice when Miss Ruo drew her jian from under the covers. Sexist, I know, because I should’ve figured that a woman so flawless could only be a Martial Warrior, but I’ve yet to overcome my inherent bias about women being physically weak. Something to work on in the future, but for now, I had an assassination attempt to thwart, which wasn’t as difficult as it sounded. Most assassins rely on the element of surprise, a powerful advantage when grasped in hand, but I saw it coming from a mile away and was ready and waiting for them to act.

Even then, seven against one is a tall order to fill, especially while protecting a drunk and possibly poisoned Fung, as it takes a lot of booze to make a Martial Warrior unsteady on his feet. As the blades lance towards me, I unleash an unconventional response, one that has a high chance of success and leaves me with other options should it fail in execution. A very logical and reasonable argument for going this route, but in all honestly, I’ve been dying to make this work ever since the idea came to me several years ago.

“MORTAL KOMBAT!!”

The sped up techno remix plays out like a thunderclap inside my assailants’ skulls, a musical performance delivered through an emphatic use of Sending. As my foes falter in place at the unexpected noise and chaos, I push Fung’s limp, falling body back into his seat whilst simultaneously hooking my foot around his chair leg, which I then use to drag him aside and back out of harms way, all to the beat of the catchy tune. My actions have the added bonus of keeping Yan preoccupied for the next little bit as she moves to catch Fung’s body, which will continue to follow the laws of physics and soon be launched off his chair as it comes to a sudden stop, a series of events I only witness and predict through the Scrying minimap I set up just before walking in. My bad for almost throwing my friend into the wall, but even this minor gaffe doesn’t take away from the lofty sense of accomplishment from finally utilizing Weaponized Sending in an effective manner.

I used it against Gerel once and scored a good, clean hit, one that would’ve killed him if we were on the battlefield. Then, I tried it a second time after he was patched up, and the bald bastard lopped off both my legs, souring me to the whole idea of a Sending Broadcast Barrage. What a jerk. Regardless, Luo-Luo showed us that it’s possible to speak and Send at the same time, a skill me and the family have been practising to throw spies off their game, since most people stop talking when issuing or receiving a Sending. Even though Domain-capable Warriors can sense these unseen messages flitting about, it’s impossible to know if I’m Sending to someone beside me or a recipient half a kilometre away. In the same vein, there’s no way to narrow down which exact Martial Warrior is doing the Sending or receiving when they’re all gathered in a group, which is what makes Luo-Luo’s trick so useful. So long as there are other Martial Warriors about, no one knows she’s passing along Sendings at a rapid fire pace, which allows her to control or advise an encounter from right wherever she pleases.

Of course, I, being the brilliant mind that I am, saw this and thought, “If I can Send and speak at the same time, why can’t I Send the same message to multiple people?”

Turns out, I can, and when combined with an overabundance of Chi to max out the volume, it makes for a fun little surprise that no one can really defend against. If you expect it and prepare for it, it’s easy to ignore, but even Dad couldn’t spar with Grandma effectively while I was standing on the sidelines ready to blast him with a loud-as-fuck Sending. As for Miss Ruo and these thugs, they’re even less capable of dealing with my underhanded tactics, so pained and confused by the noise they have only just recovered from their surprise.

Can’t say I blame them either, because this song slaps. “Test your might!”

Not yet ready to give up, the thugs batten down their mental defences to ignore my blaring Sendings before launching yet another coordinated attack, but they gave me too much time to prepare. Tranquility comes out first, pulled off the leather hook on my belt and thrown lightly to hang between me and my foes, held not by Domain or Chi or any other mystical force, but rather just plain, mundane momentum as it spins in place. The reason for this is because my shield grip isn’t a handle like something you’d see one a mug, to be held in hand with the shield in front. Instead, Tranquility is designed to be gripped in hand while strapped to my forearm by a loop of mundane leather. This sort of grip helps me better absorb blows and keep the shield in a protective position while fighting, but since the handle isn’t exactly centred, it also limits the shield’s effectiveness when not strapped in.

I can hardly call a time out and ask these would-be assassins to wait while I strap my shield on, but here’s the thing. I am the Shield, and the Shield is me, so why would I even need the grip or leather to hold it?

Raising my hand as if gesturing at my opponents to stop, I palm Tranquility without touching it as it spins in place, the weapon affixed to my fingertips not through the air between my skin and the shield’s inner surface, but rather through my Domain itself, which occupies that same physical and metaphysical space. It seems like I’m not touching the shield, but I am, because we are one in more than just body, but in mind and spirit as well. Still not yet done, I exert my Will and Deploy my Domain through Tranquility and an invisible, intangible power emanates out of the smooth metal surface, one that instantly condenses and compresses itself into a strands of all too tangible force. Those strands rotate along with Tranquility while stretching out towards my opponents weapons, drawing them in to the swirling vortex of force towards my raised defences, a reverse Domain Deflection that brings their blades on a headlong collision course with my shield.

All this takes a long time to describe, but it happens in the blink of an eye, and I cannot hold back my smile as four of the thugs crash into one another before their attacks even come close to my shield. The remaining two daggers glance off the spinning, yet anchored Spiritual Weapon, their Reinforced, Amplified, and Reverberated attacks powerful enough to shatter steel plate armour yet rendered as ineffective as pissing into the wind, for the force behind them has largely been spent just making it’s way here.

A fun new defensive move I picked up thanks to Lin-Lin’s advice, suggesting I think about other things I could Domain Plate. My mind immediately went to Water Chi, but even before I set out to practice with my Blessing of Water, I stopped and thought, “Why can’t I just Domain Plate my regular Chi?

Turns out, you can, and it’s pretty damn effective. More surprising is the fact that it’s also a fairly common use of Domain Plating, perhaps even the most common considering every Peak Expert is capable of doing the same. The thing is, most don’t know it’s called Domain Plating, nor do they realize the utility of the skill, because they only use it in one, extremely specific scenario: Cloud-Stepping.

The basic premise behind Cloud-Stepping is simple. All you need to do is solidify your Chi beneath your feet to provide yourself with a foothold to push off of while soaring through the skies. There’s a lot more subtle complexities involved, such as Lightening yourself to near weightlessness and Amplifying your steps to leap further in a single bound, but it all breaks down to stepping on solid Chi, or more accurately, Domain Plated Chi. How such a vital and wide-ranging use of Chi became cloaked in obscurity is a mystery to be sure, one I’m sure has an answer tracing back to the Imperial Clan, but that’s neither here nor there. Once I realized I could Domain Plate my Chi, I quickly discovered I could Domain Plate one specific Chi skills as well to make it more effective, namely Deflection.

And thus, this defensive skill was born, one I practised until it was so familiar I could do it without thinking. I call it the ‘Maelstrom of Deflection’, which admittedly is kinda a stupid name, and not even an accurate one since I don’t actually need to spin the shield to make it work. The spinning just makes the skill easier to visualize in mind, since I can just anchor the Domain Plated Deflection to the surface of the shield itself, and the physical movement takes care of the rest. It’s stupid, but it works, so is it really all that stupid? I hate that I don’t understand it completely, but when you don’t know all the rules, sometimes you need to compromise and stick with what works.

If the Dao was music, and Martial Warriors were guitarists, I would be that one guy who can’t read sheet music, doesn’t know how to play by ear, and couldn’t name the chords to save his life, but he accidentally stumbled across one kick ass repeating melody which he can play really, really well.

My body moves before my mind even registers the attack, and I watch Miss Ruo’s jian pass mere centimetres in front of my face after having literally thrown myself backwards onto the ground in order to avoid her thrust. As I bridge over to land on my hands rather than my back, I lift both boots off the ground in one, fluid motion and lash out with a viscous dropkick that connects firmly with her midsection, but it is not the soft and vulnerable target I expected to encounter. The impact numbs both my legs as I use the momentum to ninja flip back to my feet and reclaim Tranquility, leaving me reeling in place and unable to follow through with my acrobatic counter to finish her off. Not sure how she managed to hide armour under her sheer, flimsy dress that leaves little of her pale porcelain flesh to the imagination, but I’d be much more interested in exploring that mystery if I wasn’t a happily married man thrice over.

That isn’t to say I’m not interested at all, but there is a time and place for everything, as well as very real consequences to be wary of. I love my wives and would never do anything to betray them, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes think about sex with other women. It’s not on purpose, it just happens on reflex, like wanting to press a button that is clearly labelled ‘Do not press’. Even if you know the button will end all life as we know it, there’s a forbidden temptation to do that which you know you shouldn’t do.

Or maybe I’m just an incorrigible horn-dog who is beyond saving. Probably the latter, but what can I do? It is in my nature to be horny.

Having recovered from my counter, Miss Ruo readies her jian once more as the six thugs fan out with remarkable coordination, a bad sign if there ever was one. We’ve barely traded two exchanges in the time it took for Fung’s chair to come to a stop, but my assailants seem ready to keep up this fast and frenetic pace until their goal is achieved. Though I would love to take them all alive for questioning, that seems like a pipe dream now that they’re taking this seriously, not to mention how Miss Ruo has already demonstrated her frightening speed which I can barely even track. Having put the facts all together, my decision comes easily as it boils down to us or them, and I will choose to protect me and mine every day of the week.

With barely more than a whisper of steel on leather, Peace shoots out of its sheathe and buries itself tip first into the closest thug’s throat. Holding Tranquility properly now, I execute Balance on Windy Leaf and stop mere milliseconds before I dash headlong into the fray, because something about the way their eyes all light up gives me ample pause. For good reason too, as the thugs react faster than I thought possible and launch their blades at where I would’ve been, right in front of the closet target who stands ready to receive my charge without any care for his life. The man was ready to die to hold me in place for the daggers to strike, and all I see is immeasurable disappointment in his eyes as he registers the failed trade.

The man was not only willing to trade his life for mine, he was eager to do it.

Miss Ruo’s lightning fast jian puts an end to my observations, and as I trade blows with the fake courtesan, I discover I am facing an accomplished swordswoman. Not even Ryo Da’in’s swordsmanship is so mechanically sophisticated, her movements fast and unpredictable while remaining fluid and linked. The opening thrust seamlessly shifts into a slash meant to open my throat, followed by a downward strike targeting my lingering knee as I backpedal away. Only a single step, because Yan is close behind, but one step was all I needed to sling Unity off my shoulder and bring it up and around to meet Miss Ruo’s jian. Even folded up in its sword form, Unity is still a little too unwieldy for the size of this room, which isn’t small by any measure, but far from large enough to fight freely. However, the same handicap applies to my opponents who are unable to close in after Miss Ruo took centre stage, a mistake on her part made through overconfidence, or perhaps just plain old anger.

Even though her speed and swordsmanship is superior to Ryo Da’in, and her defences formidable to boot, it’s clear from our initial exchange that she lacks staying power. Overwhelming force has a quality all to itself, which I demonstrate by smashing Unity against her sword in a head on collision, the hefty mass of my transforming weapon easily able to blow away her lighter, more agile jian. This one move is all it takes to break through her defences, and she now stands before me with arms raised in an effort to regain control of her sword. Right idea, but wrong execution as she didn’t think to retreat first, and I show her the errors of her ways by smashing my elbow into her beautiful and delicate nose.

As the pain lances up my arm and Miss Ruo’s feather-light body crashes through the wall behind her, I curse my chivalrous restraint which kept me from punching her in the face with Tranquility’s twin blades. On the bright side, it’s a good thing I went against my second instinct too and didn’t headbutt her in the face, because if I had, I might well have given myself a concussion. Instead, I just fractured my left elbow a tiny little bit, not the worst injury I’ve ever taken, but more than what one would expect from hitting soft flesh. To call Miss Ruo a jade beauty is fitting indeed, for there is no armour hidden underneath her sheer robes. Instead, it appears she possesses a body harder than solid rock, the result of Domain Plating if I had to guess. Though reeling from the pain, the implications frighten me even more, because her familiarity with the skill is several levels beyond mine. I’ve yet to reach a point where my Domain Plated body can even withstand a plain old regular knife, but judging by the swelling in my left elbow, a steel blade would probably snap before it pierced through her defences.

It’s almost like she’s shrouded from head to toe in Iron Chi, because my Deployed Domain does not sense any movement from hers. Her Domain is also Deployed, but its rigid and unmoving, covering her from head to toe and doing nothing else.

All of which only makes me more eager to capture her, because now I really want to interrogate her, and not in any naughty sexy fun way either. I want to know all her secrets and learn the limits of her defences, and I can already see her strapped to a table while I poke and prod her with blades. My darker thoughts catch me by surprise even as I cut down another two thugs with a backhanded swing of Unity, their blades unable to stop my heavy pseudo-sword from cutting through them from shoulder to hip. Three down, four to go, but just as quickly as the battle began, our clash comes to an end as I realize the two dead thugs bought enough time for the others to escape out the hole Miss Ruo’s body made in the wall. By the time I make it there, they’ve disappeared out the window or into another room, and all my efforts to find any Concealed individuals comes up with nothing. All I find is a quivering working girl laid out across the bed while her buck naked patron runs for the door, a sight I wish I could forget even as I gaze upon it.

Grabbing a handful of gold bars from my hip pouch, I place them on the table and utter a mumbled apology for the damages before retreating to guard Fung and Yan. First to arrive is none other than my friend’s manservant and undercover bodyguard Fu Zhu Li, his features twisted in fury as he checks the health of his ward. “A paralytic agent in the wine,” he growls, his inner-predator showing through his normally mild-mannered demeanour as Kuang Biao and the other Death Corps appear. “This was a set-up.”

I know it was, but the million dollar question I’d like answered is if he was in on it, as he’s the one who directed me to come get Fung. This isn’t the first time I’ve paid my heartbroken friend’s bills in recent days, and every time it’s been at the multi-talented half-weasel’s request, so I can’t help but suspect him of foul play. Unable to contain my suspicion, Fu Zhu Li catches wind of my Aura and snorts at me with sheer disdain. “Stow away your suspicions, whelp. If I wanted your life, not even your little wifey’s guard could stop me from claiming it.”

...And here I thought I was aggressive and arrogant. What the fuck man?

“How are you?” I ask, looking away from the scary half-weasel to check on my wife instead, who stands ready with battle-fan and shield and looks frustrated she didn’t get a chance to use them.

“How am I?” Moving stand between me and the hole in the wall just in case they come back around, my wife thinks better of it and instead forcibly moves me over the corner where she can watch the door and wall both at the same time. “They tried to kill you!”

“Good thing they were terrible assassins.” Shifting Yan gently aside because my pride and love will not allow me to place her in harms way just to keep me safe, I reach out and recall Peace back to hand, which is what I probably should’ve done instead of bringing out Unity. Too many options, not enough brain power to go through them all during combat, probably because I get distracted too easily. Case in point, while I should be on guard for another attack, I’ve let my vigilance slip and only now notice Yan and Fu Zhu Li’s incredulous stares. “What?”

“Terrible?” Snorting in disbelief, Fu Zhu Li Sends, “I’m surprised you survived, much less did so intact. How did you see through their deception so quickly? While the courtesan Miss Ruo is a new addition, the street toughs have been working here since the young master arrived. I was even Scrying on the situation before you arrived, and they gave no sign of being anything besides what they appeared to be.”

“Too pretty,” I Send back with a smirk, before giving him the real answer, one he seems to have trouble believing.

“All this suspicion merely because they refused to let the young master continuing buying on credit? He already owes upwards of six-hundred gold, which might well be more than the owner earns in a month after expenses. Of course they cut him off.”

Oh. “Well, the too pretty thing still stands, and besides, it’s not like I made a snap decision just because of one mistake. There were several minor discrepancies, so I kept my guard up.”

“Fair enough, young Legate. How did you stagger them all at once?”

“Trade secret.”

Having calmed down now that his young master is safe and sound, Fu Zhu Li reverts to his regular persona and simply offers me a placid nod of respect, while Yan has yet to let her guard down. Tugging at her sleeve, I Send, “We need to leave before someone sees us. Last thing I need is rumours of the Legate being attacked in a brothel, and I doubt it’ll help your career if they hear you accompanied me in.”

Unconcerned by the hit to her reputation, Yan argues that we should stay to collect evidence, but there’s no real need, because I already have a suspect in mind. Since his arrival, I’ve been ignoring Kuang Biao’s inquiries about what happened, because I get the feeling he already knows. The fight was fast, but not so fast that he couldn’t have rushed in right away from his post outside the door. Even if my would-be assassins threw up a Sound Barrier to cover up the disturbance, my four Peak Expert Death Corps guards should’ve immediately noticed something was off and come in to check, because I always inform them when I put one up. Instead, they stood around outside and twiddled their thumbs until the fight came to an end, meaning they were probably ordered not to interfere.

Because if these killers weren’t trained in the Eastern Province, I’ll eat my fucking boots raw.

Miss Rou and her thugs could be from the Tian family, who serve as Imperial spies and assassins, but I doubt it. Their approach was too amateurish and full of mistakes, even if Fu Zhu Li says the thugs have been working here all week. Then there’s the fact that Miss Ruo’s sword skills were superb, but not exactly in the style of an assassin, more like a duellist with minimal experience in actual combat, which combined with her last minute addition to the plan and breathtaking beauty leads me to believe she might actually be an Imperial Noble, a young woman with clout who wanted to get her hands dirty for once. Maybe she’s a Yang and related to Jixing, or a Liang whose related to Shen ZhenWu, or maybe I’m reading things wrong entirely and she’s just a pawn, but I doubt it. Either way, there’s something is off about this assassination attempt, something that makes me think the former Legate isn’t behind it, not directly at least. The plan was just so... stupid, like someone came up with what they thought was a brilliant idea, and then laid in wait for a week or two without really thinking things through. Why have the six thugs stand in plain view instead of keeping one or two hidden in reserve? Because they were worried I’d see through any Concealment? Or because they knew Fu Zhu Li was watching and would notice someone hiding nearby? What about Miss Ruo? Why did she personally take a hand in these matters when it’s clear she’s a talented amateur at best? And what was their plan if Fung visited a different brothel? Did they have workers stationed at every one? I mean, it’s not like he has a favourite place or girl anymore, not since he started wooing Seoyoon.

Ah man, the poor bastard is down bad. I wish I could drink the nights away alongside him and offer him a shoulder to lean on, but I’ve been busy planning a war and whatnot, which is a valid excuse but still makes me a shitty friend.

Either way, there are just too many loose ends for this to be the work of the clever and crafty Shen ZhenWu, which is both comforting and disturbing at the same time. On the one hand, my former boss isn’t dead set on having me wacked just yet, and if he’s working with Shuai Jiao, that means he’s also willing to work with me again. However, if he’s not responsible for this clumsy assassination attempt, then that means there’s another player involved, namely whoever Miss Ruo answers to. If it’s the Yangs, then fine, I was going to have to deal with them eventually, but if the Xing, Di, or Tian family are getting involved, then stakes have gotten a whole lot higher.

Why do things have to be so complicated? I just want to wage war against the time-honoured Enemy of humanity and defeat the eight-hundred year old monster leading them. Is that really too much to ask for?