Chapter 439 (Patreon)

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Feeling better after scouring my Core clean of frozen Spectres, I return to reality whereupon my tired mind informs me I am freezing my nards off. One look at the moon explains why, as it’s close to three in the morning and I’ve been lounging in a tub of chilly water for the better part of four hours. Tired from waiting, Ping Ping’s head rests in the dirt at the foot of my tub, the carved wooden divider which once stood beneath her neck now laying in the grass beside her. At least she’s big enough to block the view, else my shame would’ve been on display for the whole world to see, but seeing her go alert the moment I move fills me with guilt for keeping her waiting so long. Unfortunately, I still haven’t gotten around to turning the bathwater into Chi Water, which means she’ll have to wait a little longer before its ready. Though cold and tired, I bite the bullet and continue shivering in the tub so I can make a batch of the Chi Water to treat sweet Ping Ping.

Chi, Water Chi, Spiritual Water, Heavenly Water, and Chi Water. I need better names for this shit. There are times when I can barely keep things straight.

Water Chi is Chi mimicking water. Tenjin uses Fire Chi to create animals of fire while Lei Gong uses Lightning Chi to conjure bolts of lightning, so why is it when I use Water Chi, all I can do is spit a mouthful of water which dissolves into nothingness before it hits the ground? Sad, but until I get a better handle on using Chi externally, my water-bending shenanigans will have to wait.

The only real use of Water Chi is to make Spiritual Water, which is what I call Water Chi mimicking Heavenly Water. Chi mimicking Water which mimics Heavenly Energy mimicking water. Not complicated at all. Essentially, Spiritual Water is my pseudo-Blobby which does what he used to do, but not as well. I couldn’t tell you what the fundamental differences between Water Chi and Spiritual Water are, but they are most definitely two similar, but distinct types of energies, just like Chi and Heavenly Energy are different. For starters, not all Water-Blessed Martial Warriors can cleanse Spectres, Anathema, and (probably) Demon Ichor like I can, which proves Water Chi is not the same thing as Spiritual Water, hence the need to differentiate between them.

As for Chi Water, that’s what I’ve been calling my failed attempts to bind normal, physical water by infusing it with Chi, like the stuff Elder Ming carried around in his gourd or how I think Pudge the Water Demon was doing his water magics. I might as well call it Chi Tea because the only use I have for it is keeping the turtles Hydrated. As luck would have it, my new Chi Devouring method also works in reverse and my Core empties in a matter of minutes. Light-headed and near exhaustion, I giggle as Ping Ping squeaks a symphony of thanks, which proves I didn’t waste my efforts and the Chi Tea is ready for consumption. Where it used to take an hour and a half or thereabouts, now all it takes is five minutes to turn water into Chi Tea, which is a huge improvement for my quality of life.

It’s a fun name, but I should really stop calling it Chi Tea and use Chi-infused water to be safe and differentiate it from Water Chi. As I recently proved, Visualization is important to Chi usage, which means names are important, so if I ever figure out how to bind water, I don’t want to go around thinking about shooting bullets of Chi Tea. Water Chi, Spiritual Water, and Chi-infused water. Water Chi, Spiritual Water, and Chi-infused water. Three, totally separate and different things, which are not at all similar.

This naming scheme is totally gonna bite me in the ass...

Opening the void to the world, I Devour the Energy of the Heavens and deposit the resulting Chi into my Core before crawling out of the tub. It’s a small thing, but having taken this step, a burden has been lifted from my shoulders. It’s not just about gathering Chi, but also an affirmation of my path, my Dao as it were. As Fung once told me, morality is a human construct, one which should not apply to the Energy of the Heavens, and knowing this makes my next steps easier. I think a big part of my lack of Insights has been because I was terrified the information could be coming from the Spectres, but so long as I hold to my morals, then why worry about where the source of my power comes from? The Mother and the Father might as well be called protons and electrons, two opposing forces which are part of a whole.

Unless they are actual omniscient gods, in which case I beg for forgiveness and ask that such supreme beings not hold a grudge over my lack of faith.

That said, a big benefit of this new technique is my Chi gathering doesn’t slow down as my Core fills up, not to mention I can easily recharge my Chi reserves in the middle of battle. Time was I could do it if I got in the groove, but now, gathering Chi is almost effortless, as easy as thinking of pink elephants. Forget conserving energy and remaining efficient. If I spend Chi slower than I recharge, then I essentially have unlimited Chi. At this rate, it should take about an hour of passive Devouring to fill my Core to the brim, as opposed to thirty minutes of active meditation to fill up halfway, then three more hours to top off the tank. These days, I do most of of my meditation while travelling on quin-back to be time efficient, but now, I have a whole two and a half hours more to stew in paranoia and neurosis.

It took an entire two minutes to go from joyous celebration to discouraging pessimism. Old Rain would’ve shit on his achievements the second he accomplished them, but not new Rain. I’m improving.

After filling two gourds with Chi-infused water, I put on my pants while Ping Ping goes to town on what’s left in the bathtub. My butt sat in that nasty water for hours but Ping Ping slurps it down like honey water, the implications of which are downright embarrassing to think about. Thankfully, word of her perverted habit hasn’t spread because the Death Corps don’t gossip. Most of my retinue thinks Ping Ping likes to watch me bathe, which is less humiliating than the actual truth. I mean, for all they know, she’s wondering why I’m swimming around in such a tiny pond, and not at all entranced with my physical form.

I’ve heard a handful of jokes about the big turtle being interested in the small turtle between my legs, but Rustram, Sai Chou, and Wang Bao of all people are quick to shut it down. Personally, I’d rather they laughed along, because otherwise, people will think the Warrant Officer doth protest too much. Theoretically, I don’t need to sit naked in water to turn Chi into Water Chi, but in practice, it only works if I fall into a meditative trance with water all around me. It works best when I’m submerged, but laying in a tub does the trick nicely. Rather than a requirement, being in water is more like a crutch, one I should work on going without, but for now, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

No matter how many weird jokes you have to pretend not to hear. Celebrate this victory and be happy.

Having said that, I immediately disregard my advice and try for more, because I’m a greedy little shit who desires phenomenal cosmic powers. Still Devouring Heavenly Energy, I Visualize my Intent and imagine a globe of water atop the palm of my hand, not tapping into my Chi to do so but the very Energy of the Heavens themselves. Long seconds pass as I fixate on this one thought, putting the rest of the world out of mind in my effort to Create water out of the invisible and intangible energy around me, but alas, nothing comes of it.

Disappointing, but hardly unexpected. If manipulating Pure Heavenly Energy was as easy as really, really wanting it, then there would probably be a whole lot more Ancestral Beasts hanging around.

Giving Ping Ping a good night kiss on the beak, I shuffle into my yurt and prepare for Pong Pong’s visit in the morning, setting out three pans of water, one for his poop, one for him to swim in, and one filled with Chi-infused water to drink. Say what you will about the little guy, but he loves sleeping in Mama Bun’s fur and pooping in pans. After hiding the other gourd of Chi-infused water to study later, I crawl into bed and fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow, a rare, blissful treat in recent months.

And all it took was a full day of travel, three hours of practising the Forms, four hours of meditation, changing my basic Chi gathering method, and fixing a significant issue with my Martial foundation to earn it.

The next morning, I step out of my yurt to empty Pong Pong’s poop pan and almost pour the waste water over OuYang Yuhuan. Arms crossed beneath her modest bosom and pierced nipples (don’t stare), the Tyrant of the Azure Ascendants narrows her eyes as I fumble with the pan and Unity, her cheeks reddening once she realizes what she’s been standing in. Moving aside, Yuhuan scrapes her boots in the grass and gives me a look which tells me she is none too pleased and holds me to account for this indignity, but we will settle our accounts another time. “The Ascendant left early this morning,” she says, her tone curt and attitude haughty. “He meant to inform you himself, but you were late in rising.” Her pointed sniff speaks volumes of her disapproval for my laziness, but also informs me she can’t be bothered to correct my poor habits. The woman really knows how to condense a plethora of information into a single look or sniff. “His sons left with him, so I have been called in from my work in SuiHua and asked to take little Virtue’s place as your protector.”

Little Virtue? Oh my god, that’s adorable, but more importantly, now I know Daxian is ‘the Virtuous’. His name is a homonym for ‘great virtue’! I feel so stupid for not figuring it out sooner.

Wait... Is Yuhuan Daxian’s mom?

Something in my expression gives away my thoughts and the Tyrant’s cheeks turn scarlet in anger or embarrassment, her hands reaching for her bristling pouches of Runic goodies before she reins her temper in. “I am his Mentor.”

“Oh. Right. Of course.” Duh. Someone had to teach Daxian how to fight, and the OuYang Clan is known for their Spearmanship. Besides, I wasn’t judging, she could hardly be blamed if she succumbed to GangShu’s charms. I’m straight, but his feral grin and soft chest hair makes me rethink my sexuality at times. Pouring the waste water out, I descend from the stairs and smack the pan against them, presumably to get all the poop out, but mostly so I can break the awkward eye contact. “Did GangShu say why he left?”

“The Ascendant,” she replies, her articulation making it clear I am not to refer to GangShu as anything else, “Has gone to check on Wugang and Yelu Shi. It’s long past time since they should have returned after passing along your message.”

“Oh. I see.” I’ve all but given up on the Abbot showing up, but I guess GangShu wants his people back. The timing sucks though. If they left a week ago, I would’ve jumped in joy, but I’m already down three heavy hitters after the encounter with Big Pudge, and now I’m losing Daxian too, not to mention a freaking Divinity. Jorani too, but I’m less scared about losing him and more annoyed. Well, at least GangShu left Yuhuan here to protect me, so there’s that. “I thank you for your assistance in these trying times.”

“You do not have it yet.” Snapping in annoyance, Yuhuan stamps her foot like a woman half her age or less, which lends a girlish charm to her mature beauty. Drawing herself up to her full height, her nipple piercings poke out from the thin fabric of her robes while I do everything in my power to keep my eyes elsewhere. “I am a Runic Craftsman and my time is valuable. Not even the Ascendant commands me. If I am to protect you, then I require payment for my services. A Spiritual Weapon will do, one bearing the same launching mechanism as your own. I will provide the materials and discuss the specifics of its form with the Divine Blacksmith at a later date. The work will be completed in no less than six months from then, at which point I shall present the blacksmith with a gift in thanks. Agreed?”

She wants a Spiritual Gun? Also, this doesn’t really sound like payment, more like she wants a favour, especially when she mentions a gift at the end. A face thing, I think, because... this implies she wants to make friends with Mila rather than merely conduct a transaction? I dunno, I haven’t gotten that far in my lessons with Luo-Luo. “Er... I should warn you, the... launchers aren’t exactly the most... effective weapon, and I don’t command the blacksmith either. I can ask and she’ll probably agree, but if she doesn’t, then there’s nothing I can do.”

Her lips pursed in a frown, Yuhuan focuses on a surprising detail I didn’t expect. “She? Is your weapon not the work of Divine Blacksmith Husolt?”

“Well, my sword and shield are, but his daughter Sumila crafted my glaive and all the other launchers.” There’s no Common word for gun, so I’ve been calling them rifles, but launcher works well too.

After a moment of thought, Yuhuan nods her head. “Then so be it. Results matter more than age. If Divine Blacksmith Sumila will not agree to craft a weapon, then you must compensate me with five crafted Spiritual Weapons. Spears mind you, not short swords or daggers, but spears of standard-length and weight. Do we have an agreement?”

...How come she doesn’t give me any face?

After hammering out the details, we reach an arrangement which works for us both, though I don’t think it’s fair when she threatened to box my ears for haggling. Regardless, once our deal is struck, I hand the poop pan to a Death Corps soldier to clean, wash my hands, and bring Yuhuan to meet her ward. Though she gives me a strange look when she finds out she’s to look after Song, the Tyrant shrugs and accepts her charge with indifference, though she perks up when she learns Song is Mila’s sister. Initially, I figured Lei Gong would protect Song while I kept Jochi and Daxian, but the grimy old drunkard doesn’t exactly inspire confidence. Besides, my Martial Aunt will probably feel much safer with a woman to watch her back, though I almost have a heart attack when Pong Pong pokes his head out of Mama Bun’s fur to glare at Yuhuan.

I completely forgot about the bad blood between them, but the Tyrant doesn’t even notice. Whatever methods the Ascendants used to track him didn’t tell them what manner of beast they were tracking, else they would’ve figured it out by now. By all appearances, Pong Pong is merely a tiny, adorable turtle I spoil because he has a lovely shell-pattern. Nothing about him suggests he’s a True Divine Turtle, capable of wielding the power of creation to match or perhaps even overpower a Divinity, but from the looks of things, he certainly recognizes the woman who chased him around for weeks without rest.

Using my Aura to soothe Pong Pong’s temper, I draw Yuhuan’s attention away from him and Song’s Runic breastplate. “If you don’t mind me asking, why do you want a Spiritual Launcher? They’re unwieldy and proved ineffective against the Demon.”

Oddly enough, Yuhuan responds with uncharacteristic enthusiasm, leading me to believe I could’ve asked for a lot more than I did in exchange for a gun. Pulling a Runic rod from her belt which I recognize as twin to the one Jorani had, she gestures at the carvings and says, “I spent years developing a weapon meant to dispatch a Peak Expert even in the hands of a mediocre Martial Warrior, and this is the culmination of my research. A touch of this rod contains more power than a hundred of Lei Gong’s lightning bolts, but such power means nothing if the enemy can simply dodge the attack. I considered using a crossbow, but they could not provide enough speed without extensive preparation, and while bows could, they also require a lifetime of practice to master, so most of the runes on this rod are to ensure it moves fast enough to connect. However, when I heard about what happened with the Water Demon, I knew I could use such a weapon to launch a redesigned version on this runic rod, one stripped of everything aside from sheer power.”

Holy shit. Runic bullets which hit a hundred times harder than Lei Gong’s lightning bolts would be nice but... Struck by a flash of genius, I race back to my room to grab my notes, ignoring proper officer decorum in all my excitement. Shoving the relevant documents into her hands, I ask, “Do you think you could design a Rune which can generate an explosion?”

While Yuhuan scrutinizes my notes, I explain the concept of cannons the best I can, and her eyes slowly light up in excitement. I’ve got everything in place except for the explosive charge, and a few simple changes is all I need to get this working. The cannon itself is easy enough to make and can remain mundane, all I’d have to do is add a slot in the back to slide a Runic Rod into. Airtight would be best, and maybe a locking mechanism to hold it in place. Ooh, some cannons open up at the back right? Maybe the Runic Device could slide in there with a handle sticking out, and then you affix the back of the cannon to hold it in place. A Martial Warrior would be needed to provide the Chi, but otherwise, this could totally work, with nothing for a fire happy Demon to set off. I wouldn’t even need a Runic Rod for every cannon. Two or three cannons to a team, with two being reloaded while the third sits ready to fire, raining iron death upon Defiled and Demon alike. Five millimetre bullets didn’t do enough damage, but let’s see if Pudge can shake off a two and a half kilogram sphere of iron crashing into his fucked up mouth, and worst comes to worst, the team can abandon the cannons and run away with the Runic Devices.

This is great news, plus Runic bullets for my Spiritual Gun means my weapons won’t be a complete waste. Whooooo!

There’s still a lot of trial and error to go through, and funding Yuhuan’s research process is going to be expensive as hell, but I’ve got time to waste while waiting for reinforcements, more coin than I know what to do with, and an intense desire to kill Defiled in the thousands. Besides, if the Enemy is stockpiling Demons like Pudge, then we’re going to need something to even the odds. Once Yuhuan has enough details to work with, she storms off to find somewhere to work and leaves me alone with Song and the animals.

Guan Suo too, as he pops into existence to ask, “What were you doing last night boy? You better have a good reason for displaying Purity for so long, you kept me up half the night with your shenanigans.” Nose wrinkled in displeasure, Guan Suo shakes his fist at me and says, “Playing around with your Chi so much is like making a racket in the middle of the night. Pei! Rude is what it is. I’m an old man who needs his sleep.”

“Sorry.” A side effect of my new Chi Devouring abilities, I suppose. At least now I know, which means I shouldn’t do it if I’m trying to stay hidden. “I got lost in my work and didn’t know it would bother you. I’ll avoid practising at night.”

“Back to binding water, are you?” Guan Suo’s Sending catches me by surprise and I nod before thinking better of answering. I mean, I can probably trust him with something like this, but if he finds out about the Heavenly Energy I’ve got tucked away in my Natal Palace, then our relationship might turn sour. Birds die for food and men die for greed, or so the idiom goes. “Well, show me what you’ve been trying, and maybe I can help point you towards the right questions so you’ll stop making such a ruckus when you should be sleeping.”

Lacking the ability to Send from a distance, I ask, “Don’t you mean the right answers?”

“No boy.” With an air of solemn wisdom, Guan Suo puffs at his pipe and Sends, “You need to find the answers on your own, but some answers are more useful than others.”

...The worst cryptic sayings are the ones that make sense.

Still, I’m not one to turn down free advice, so I grab the gourd of Chi Water from my yurt and bring it out to practice. Both turtles show marked interest when I uncork the gourd, but I wave them both away to show them this bathwater is mine. Just to be safe, I dump half of my Core’s Chi into the water, which sets Ping Ping to singing once more, but the big girl calms down after a liberal dose of loving, yet remorseful Aura. Despite investing so much Chi into this, I still feel no connection to the water within, but perhaps a copious amount of Visualization and Intent will help.

Taking a seat in the grass, I place the gourd on the ground with my palm over the spout, willing the water to rise up to touch my hand. It’s not far to travel since the gourd is filled to the brim and my hand hovers a hairsbreadth above the opening, but after long, focused minutes of effort, my palm remains dry save for a trace of sweat. Throwing in the towel, I turn to Guan Suo for advice, but the old half-beast merely raises a single long, white eyebrow and Sends, “What in the Father’s Maw are you trying to do? Do you need to pay a visit to your latrine tent first?”

...I am not constipated, but I refuse to declare it out loud. Shuffling closer to Guan Suo, I wave away the clouds of acrid smoke and take his hand, Sending, “I’m trying to make the water rise up and touch my hand.”

“See,” Guan Suo drawls, blowing a cloud of smoke directly into my face, “Now I know you don’t know shit. How about this. Tell me what you know about Awakenings and we’ll go from there.”

Doing my best to think through the coughing, I Send, “Well... Manipulating water is like binding a weapon. The water must become a part of you, your Chi flowing through it without thought or guidance, and only then will you be able to control it. It’s different from what other Awakenings in that they simply use their Chi to mimic their respective Elements, rather than controlling the mundane versions outright. Tenjin can create a spark with Chi, but if it sets off a wildfire, then he would be helpless to control it unless he binds the physical fire, whereas if I bind this water, then I can use it, but not any other ambient water around us.”

“Uh huh... and where’d you hear all this?”

...In Elder Ming’s journal and from Mila. “Why does it matter?”

“Because it’s not entirely right.” Shrugging, he adds, “Not to say it’s wrong either, but the viewpoint is too narrow. Take a step back and forget about manipulating or controlling your Element.” Pointing at the gourd, Guan Suo asks, “If you wanted to empty the gourd without turning it upside down, how would you go about it? Not with Chi, mind you, but with your hands or whatever.”

“I dunno. Shake it?”

“Okay. And what if you wanted to move the water around inside without spilling?”

“...Swirl it.”

“Then how would you make the water come out of the gourd and touch your palm, like you were trying before?”

“...Squeeze the gourd, I guess, though it’d probably break.”

“Any other bright ideas?”

“Drop something inside to displace the water. That’d make it shoot up, probably.”

“Exactly.” Leaning back with a smile, Guan Suo acts as if everything should be apparent from his pointless questions. Seeing I still don’t understand, he scoffs and Sends, “Bound or not, water is still water. There are rules to follow, and having Chi doesn’t mean you can break those rules. You’re trying to make water do something it cannot physically do without outside assistance, and no amount of Chi will change that.”

“...But the water Demon made a shield and tentacles with his water. Tenjin can make hypnotic patterns and realistic animals of fire with his Chi.”

“Can he now?” Nodding in approval, he shrugs and says, “Forget the Demon, and Tenjin is talented, but do you think he was talented enough to do all that during his first year? What’s more, why compare yourself to him? You’ve already said this is a different method, so why would they follow the same rules?”

...Right. Learn to crawl before you walk. How many times will I make this same mistake?

“Get you gone now and let an old man nap in peace.” Guan Suo waves me away, but adds, “There’s one more question you should ask yourself. Why bind water? I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t, but right now, you’re going through a maze by following directions from people who have never been there. Quit worrying about how others do things and focus on your own Martial Path. You spend so much time lost in your thoughts, so maybe try thinking for a change.”

With much to think about, I thank Guan Suo for his time and sit and stare at the gourd. So many questions, with no one to tell me the answers.

One step forward, with a thousand more to go. Such is life, trials and tribulations without end.

...

God I hate that phrase. It’s so... depressing.

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