The Price of Stealing (Patreon)

The Price for Stealing.

Mona shook her head. “I seriously doubt that is true.”

“That is what I heard.” Greg didn’t look up from his phone. “Strange shit like that will happen to shoplifters of that store.”

Mona rubbed at the brow of her sunburned forehead. “I get that stealing is wrong but come on. People turning into these giant blueberries?” She blinked her green eyes. “You realize how crazy that sounds, right?”

“Then you are going to think people saying they are also sometimes kidnapped as well.”

Mona rolled her eyes. “That is absurd. Royally so.”

Greg looked up from his phone and raised an eyebrow. “Who the hell says royally so?”

Mona shrugged her shoulders. “I do? Look, what does that have to do with what we are talking about?”

“I don’t know. I just haven’t heard anyone say that before. It is a very odd thing to say.”

“Can we get back to the subject at hand already instead of my speech patterns?”

Greg winced. “Fine. Look, there isn’t too much more to say.” He looked back at his phone. “I told you the crazy shit already.”

Mona crossed her arms. “Where is this store then?”

“Why?”

“Because I want to prove to you that this is a big internet hoax, that is why.” She walked to the window and looked down at the street below. “Something like this is surely clickbait.”

Greg laughed. “I think it has to be true.”

She turned her head, her long red hair falling behind her back. “What!”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, sometimes something this crazy could only be true.

Right?”

Mona closed her eyes and shook her head. “You have to be the. . .” She sighed. “Look, I am going to prove to you that this is nothing but a hox. Now tell me where this store is at!”

“A few miles from here.” He scratched at his bald head. “It is a place called Goodman’s Friendly Market.”

“That place? I have driven past there but never went inside.” Mona scratched at her chin. “It was a tiny store; I never saw a reason to.”

“So are you saying. . .”

“I am going. Don’t you worry. In fact, how about we put a wager on this.”

Greg’s eyes lit up. “A wager?”

Mona walked over to him. “Yes, a wager. You are not scared, are you?”

Greg laughed. “No, of course not. Why would I be? I have money to burn and, more importantly, money to earn.”

“Right. . .” She grabbed a nearby pad of paper. “So, how does putting down twenty dollars sound?” She picked up a pen.

Greg shook his head. “Nope. Let’s do fifty.”

“Fifty bucks?”

“Yes. Unless you don’t think you can win the bet.”

Mona narrowed her eyes. “Fifty bucks it is.” She wrote it down on the paper. “To the victor shall go the others fifty dollars and acknowledgment that they were wrong.”

Greg smiled. “Sounds good by me.”

Mona set the pad onto the table. “Well then. I guess I shall head off to Goodman’s.” She turned around. “See you in an hour or so.”

“Since you are going shoplifting, swipe me a blueberry pie.”

She turned her head. “Huh?”

“All of this talk about blueberries has put me in the mood for some myself. So, while you are out there trying to prove there isn’t a curse, swipe me some, will you please.” He laughed. “And maybe some herbal tea.”

“This isn’t me going out to get fast food. This is serious.”

“Oh right.” His expression turned grim. “Serious. Get me a serious blueberry pie, Mona. For the bet.”

She rolled her eyes and turned around. “What a nutcase.” She grabbed her grey jacket and walked out the door.

***

About half an hour later, Mona found herself outside Goodman’s Friendly Market. “Place looks normal enough. I don’t see why anyone would get the idea that such thing as curses go on here.”

As she approached the automated door, Mona noticed a flyer. “Hmm, I might as well pick this up while I’m here.” She grabbed the parchment off the glass and examined the piece of paper.

Attention Goodman’s Friendly Market shopper. We do not tolerate shoplifting or other forms of stealing. You may think you are sneaky, or you may get away with your crime. But in the end, you will pay. You will always answer to the Goodman family justice. We are always watching.

“Well, that is a bit creepy.” She crumpled up the paper and threw it to the ground.

“But I have to prove that this whole thing is a hoax, or I am out fifty bucks.” She walked inside and rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. How can a quaint little store like this not have air conditioning?”

“Hello and welcome to Goodman’s Friendly Market. Can I help you find something?” A man with short blonde hair walked up to her as he wiped his hands on his apron.

“Umm, where is your produce section? This is the first time I have been in your little store.”

“Oh really? Well, I have to say welcome, and I hope you enjoy your stay here.” He pointed to his left. “You will find the produce down there. Sadly, we do not have any free samples today, but our prices are very low.”

Mona smiled. “Thank you. Have a nice day, sir.”

“You too.” She turned around and shook her head. “Hopefully, he isn’t around when I have to leave.”

Following his directions, she quickly found the produce section of the store. Mona was astonished by just how much produce the store had, especially blueberries. “Shesh. I have never seen so much fruit and veggies in my life. Finding a blueberry pie should be easy. Now let’s see. Bananas, apples, watermelons.” She scratched at her head. “Raspberries, blueberries. Ah, here we go. Blueberry cake? No. Blueberry ice cream. Blueberry taffy. Blueberry buckle?” Mona groaned. “Why is all of this in the produce section? Seriously where is the pie?”

She turned around the corner and spotted an entire row of pies. “Whoh.” She walked up to the pies. “Jackpot.” She picked up the closest pie to her, the sweet aroma filling her nostrils. “Ahh, that smells really good. But how to get this out of here?” She looked around to make sure no one heard her. Thankfully the coast was clear. “I can’t really hide this thing. I haven’t really done any shoplifting before.” She sighed. “I guess I can only do one thing.”

She picked up the pie and walked towards the front of the store.  Act like you bought it.  She started to whistle.  No one will be the wiser.

The young man who welcomed her at the door waved at her. “Got everything you need, miss?”

Mona nodded her head. “Yup.”

“Well, have a nice night. Enjoy your pie.”

“You too.” She walked right on out the door. Once outside, Mona took a deep breath. “Phew. That is one of the most stressful things I have ever done.” She looked herself over. “And it looks like thing bad happened. Greg owes me fifty bucks.” She hurried to her car.

***

The manager watched as Mona drove off. “Looks like we have another troublemaker. She will learn why no one steals from Goodman’s Friendly Market the hard way like all the others.”

***

Mona flung the door open to her apartment and smiled. “I’m back, and I have your pie.”

Greg rushed into the room. “I want to see you.” He examined her top to bottom. “You look perfectly normal. What happened? Did they spray you with anything? Did they try and jump you?”

“No, silly. Nothing happened.” She walked into the kitchen and set the pie down on the table. “I just took the pie and walked out. It was as simple as that. They didn’t even try and stop me.”

“As simple as that, huh?” Greg laughed. “I can’t believe they just let you walk out of the store.”

“Well, it’s why you act like you own the place. Then no one challenges you. So you know you don’t have to worry about being stopped for shoplifting and crazy curses.”

“Well, my hats off to you then.”

Mona giggled. “It was easy. Because you know curses, and such are not real.” She held out her hand. “So, I will take my money now.”

“Not yet.”

Her nostrils flared with rage. “What!”

He sat down at the table and pulled out the chair next to him. “Not until I see you eat this, and nothing bad happens. I don’t want to know that you brought home a cursed pie, and I pay for it.”

Mona rubbed her forehead. “I did not bring home a cursed pie. How dense can you be over this.”

“Then prove it. Take a bite. It is that easy.”

She threw her arms into the air. “I shouldn’t have to prove it. I already proved it. I already won. Why are you still doing this?”

Greg sighed. “Hey, I said why. You are not getting my money until you have some of this pie.” He stood up. “I locked my fifty bucks safely away, and until you can show me that this pie is not tainted, you can not say you won the bet.” He walked towards the door.

“Ok, ok.” She picked up a knife. “I will have some of the pie already.”

Greg turned around and smiled. “I knew you would come around.”

Mona frowned. “I am doing this for the money and to show you there is no blueberry curse on this pie or on Goodman’s Friendly Market.” She sat down and slid a piece onto a plate. “It is a good thing I love blueberries.” She dug into the pie, gulping down one bite after the other. “Mhmm. I can’t believe you didn’t want to try this thing out first. It tastes so good.”

Greg laughed. “Hey, I said I needed to make sure it was curse proof. Some of us don’t want to be big old blueberries.”

She sighed as she finished her slice. “Well, that didn’t feel very cursed.” Mona smiled. “It was very, very delicious.”

“I am glad you liked it.”

She held out her hand once again. “So, my fifty bucks please?”

“Ok, ok. I will get it for you by tomorrow.” Greg sighed. “I ran to my office and stashed it there while you were gone. The place is closed up by now.”

Mona sighed. “Fine. But I guess that is one of the places I can’t get at.” She laughed. “Ugh, I am beat. I had a rough day at work myself, and I think it’s catching up with me.” She yawned. “I am really tired all of a sudden.”

“Ya, I can do with some rest myself.” He walked towards the door. “I will watch some television before knocking out for the night.”

She nodded her head. “Ok. See you tomorrow.” She stood up and walked towards her bedroom as she rubbed her eyes. “Hope I can make it to my bed before I fall asleep.

Sheesh, I am tired.” She pushed the door open and fell onto her bed, dead asleep.

***

Mona tossed and turned in her sleep, her dreams filled with strange images. She could see the Goodman’s Friendly Market and thousands upon thousands of blueberries. The blueberries poured out of the store and covered the land and sky, consuming everything.

Suddenly she awoke, sweat clinging to her neck. “That was crazy. I think this bet is getting to me.” Mona giggled. “What time is it?” She looked at the red lights of the digital clock next to her bed. “Only a little past midnight? Ugh, gross.” She laid flat on her bed. “I hate waking up in the dead of night.” She rubbed her forehead. “Ugh, I think I have a headache. And I feel bloated as well.” She rubbed her stomach. “Not a way to wake up.”

Mona threw off her covers and swung her feet over the side of her bed as she rubbed her eyes. “I am going to get something for this headache and try to get back to sleep.” She walked to the restroom door and pushed it open. “Now, where is that light switch?” She took a deep breath. “Ugh, why do I feel so heavy tonight?”

Her finger finally found the light switch, and she shielded her eyes from the blinding light. “Gawh. This is why I hate waking up in the middle of the night.” Mona blinked her eyes as her vision slowly adjusted. “Oh my god!” She rushed to the sink, her left hand grasping the side as she used her right to slide across her blue face. “What the hell happened to me? I look like a smurf.” She looked down. “And my belly. It looks like I ate an entire Thanksgiving meal by myself.” She grabbed the sides of her stomach. “How did I get so big.”

“Mona? What the hell are you doing up so late?”

She turned around, blue sweat dripping down the side of her neck. “Nothing.”

She rushed to the door and closed herself inside. “It’s nothing, Greg. I just have a nasty migraine. Sorry to have woken you.”

“Take something for it and go back to sleep.”

She moaned as she dragged her hand across the door. “How could this of happened?” She rubbed her head against the door. “How?” Mona’s eyes opened once more when she felt her stomach press against the door frame. She then looked down to see not only her belly but her hips had increased in size from the last time she had looked. “This is a nightmare. How is this happening?” She pressed on the sides of her hips. “It feels like something is inside my body.” She shook her body back and forth. “I don’t like that sloshing sound. It makes me think of water or. . .” Her eyes went wide.

“Juice! Oh no. I can’t be turning into a blueberry.” Mona paced back and forth. “This just isn’t possible. Curses are not real. They just are not real.” She ran her hands through her hair. “I can’t turn into a blueberry.” She turned around to look at herself in the mirror again and noticed her hair was now turning blue. “No! Stop it!” She grabbed her bangs. “I command it. I have a bet to win. Stop turning blue.”

Greg’s voice filled the air once again. “Mona. Will you go to bed? I can’t sleep with your racket.”

She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I will try and keep it down.” She opened the restroom door and walked out into her bedroom. “I need to figure out what to do.” She looked at her butt as it inflated with blueberry juice. “And I need to do it fast as this is growing out of control.” She scratched at her head. “Frist things first. I need to get out of this apartment. I can’t let Greg wake up and see me like this. I am not losing that fifty bucks he owes me in the morning.” She waddled towards the door. “Second, I must figure out a way to stop this blueberrification.” She tapped her round belly. “Before it’s too late.”

Mona made her way out of her bedroom and into the main room of her apartment. She tried her best to spread her weight out to not cause the floor to creak. “I wish I had more on than just my nightshirt.” She groaned as her pear-shaped body caused the floorboards to cry in agony beneath her blue feet. “A bra would be nice, at least. Ugh.”

The light suddenly turned on. “Mona?”

She turned her head. “Greg?”

He dropped the bat. “I thought I heard a burglar. What in the world is going on?” He looked at her body. “You are huge.”

She held up her pudgy arms. “It isn’t what it looks like.” She shook her arms. “Oh, come on.”

Greg sat down in a chair. “It looks like I won the bet.” He laughed. “So, how does it feel with all that juice inside you?”

Mona rolled her eyes. “I hate it, ok? You were right. There is a blueberry curse.”

He held out his hands. “Pay up.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Are you serious? Look at me. Do I look like I can pay you right now?” She tapped her blue chest and wobbled back and forth. “Whoh.” She tried to grab onto the nearby table, but it was too late as she fell backward and bounced on her round tutus. “Greg.

Help me.” She failed about. “Get over and help me.”

He crossed his arms. “Why?”

She slammed her arms on her chest as her nightshirt rode further up her body. “What do you mean why?”

“I mean, look at you. Your stubby legs and shrinking further and further into your round body, and your arms are not far behind. You are becoming one large blueberry.”

She tried to scowl, but her cheeks filled with blueberry juice, so she couldn’t move the muscles in her face. “That doesn’t mean you can’t help me up!”

“I mean, what is the point when you will just be so round in a few moments it won’t matter.”

“Greg!” Her legs lifted off the floor. “I will get you back for talking me into this bet!” She winced as she felt a new surge of pressure in her breasts. “Ugh.” Her nipples ripped through her nightshirt. “I feel so full.”

Greg took a few steps back as Mona’s body began to round out and started to grow in size. “I am not sure staying around here is a good idea for me.”

She turned her head to look at him as her shirt fell to the ground. “You stay right there. You are going to figure out a way to stop my swelling.” She looked at her breasts as they continued to grow. “Especially my breasts. Tell them to stop getting bigger. I don’t need gigantic blueberry boobs.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.” He walked to his bedroom door. “Just enjoy the night, and I will come to collect in the morning. Night you giant blueberry.” He went through the door and shut it, leaving her alone.”

“Greg.” She turned her head back and forth as she continued to swell. “Greg.” Her body pushed a nearby table back and knocked over a lamp. “Come back here. You have to help me.” Her breasts pressed against the ceiling as her round body knocked over a stool. “Hey, you hear me! You have to help me!”

The door to the apartment was suddenly kicked down. Mona turned her head and tried to look past the ridge of her enormous blue body. “Hey, who is there? Greg! Someone is breaking in.” She felt multiple people grab her. “Hey, stop that. That tickles.” The juices inside her swirled around and vibrated as the strange people rolled her out of the apartment. “Hey, stop that.” She laughed as blueberry juice rushed to her breasts. “You are making me giggle.”

She was slapped on the side of her body. “Quiet you. We don’t want you to make a scene.” They rolled her towards the door.

“You people can’t do this.” She took a deep breath to get a hold of herself. “Just because I am big and blue, you can’t steal me.”

One of the burglars hit Mona and caused more ripples in her berry body. “Quiet.”

“Just put tape over her mouth.”

“We don’t need the juice to build up in her even more.”

“I thought we wanted her to get nice and big.” Mona arched an eyebrow.

“Not so big we can’t roll her outside and into the van. She is already about thirteen feet tall. How much more do you want to cause her to swell up?”

“Will you two stop fighting?” Mona recognized the voice. “Just squeeze her through the door and roll her towards the window. We have a schedule to keep here.”

Mona gulped. “Hey, I know you. You are that man I meet from Goodman’s Friendly Market. What are you doing here?” She winced as they pressed her against the frame of the door. “Hey, top that.” She winced. “It hurts. You are going to pop me.”

“Shut it.”

Mona suddenly shot through the door and bounced around in the hallway outside. “Oww, oww, owww.” She groaned as she finally came to a stop near the fire escape window. “My aching sides. All of them.”

The hooded figures rushed over and put their grubby hands all over her. “Ok.

Cassie, get that window open. Hector, head down and get the Van running.”

“Rodger.”

Mona shook her head. “What is going to happen now.”

That man from the store walked over so she could see his face once more. “We are going to push you out the window, you dirty shoplifter.”

“What!”

Cassie walked over and joined. “Oh, don’t cry too much. You will survive the fall, you giant blueberry.” Cassie rubbed Mona’s body. “Think of it like a bungee jump without the cord.”

“That sounds terrifying.”

“Well, if you didn’t bounce, it would be.” Cassie held her chest as she laughed. “Right, Zach?”

He snorted. “This is just business. You know that. Didn’t I tell you to get the window open?”

“Oh, right?” Cassie walked over and slid the window open. “Sorry.”

Zach crossed his arms. “And you were not supposed to use my name.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You used mine.”

“You don’t have a permanent job at. . . never mind.” He looked back at Mona. “Ok, let’s get you outside.”

Mona shook her head. “I am not going anywhere.” She turned her head and looked at the ceiling. “I like it here. This hallway suits me.”

“Ya, well, you don’t have a choice.” Zach and Cassie walked behind Mona and pressed on her back. “You have a debt to pay, and you can’t fulfill it here.”

“Look, I don’t know what you are talking about.” She winced as she was pressed against the window. “And you can’t possibly think my gigantic body will fit through that tiny ass thing.”

“Keep pushing.”

“You are hurting me.” Blueberry juice began to drip down her body. “You are squeezing me so much juice is escaping from my nipples. Stop it.”

“Just a little more, Cassie.” The walls began to shake.

“I said. . .” Suddenly Mona burst through the foundation of the building and tumbled through the air. “Ahhhhhhhhh!” She closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable splat on the pavement below.  This is what I get for taking a bet with Greg. I will haunt him for this.

Suddenly she felt herself flatten against the ground only to bounce upward. “Ughh.”

She opened her eyes to see that she was still alive. “Oh my god. I can’t believe it.” She hit the ground again and bounced up. “I am alive.” Suddenly she landed on a car, and her bouncing spree came to a screeching halt. Mona winced as the car alarm filled the air. “Damnit.

I wish I still had arms so I could put them in my ears. Curse this noise.”

Hector rushed up to her. “You are quite the troublemaker.”

“What is going on, Hector.” Zach threw his arms up. “We wanted to keep this quiet.”

“The giant blueberry landed on someone's car.

Good going, I guess.”

Mona blinked her eyes. “I can’t believe I am alive. How am I so bouncy?”

“Cram it,” Zach said. They rolled her towards a giant van at the other end of the parking lot. “It is bad enough you have drawn all of this attention to us.”

“Hey, I can’t control where I bounce. I am like a giant blue ball here.”

Cassie ran up to them as she took deep breaths. “Hey, I’m here.”

Zach tossed her the car keys. “Get it running.” They rolled Mona into the back of the van. “Before the entire block wakes up.”

“Rodger.” She rushed around the side of the vehicle.

Mona shook her head. “Hey. You can’t do this. I am going to call the police.” She winced as she bounced inside the van. “Hey, do you hear me? You all are going to pay for this.”

Zach laughed. “Go ahead. I will just tell them you stole from my store. If they even believe anything from a giant blueberry.” He shut the door, locking her inside.”

Mona sighed as the engine started. “I should have never taken that bet. Now I can’t imagine what fate awaits me. And all for a measly fifty bucks.”