The Potion's R Us War (Patreon)

The Potions’ R Us War

There was a knock at Sarah’s door. “Just a moment.” She shook her head as she set down her phone. “I will have to get in touch with Carien another time. I just don’t understand why she isn’t picking up her phone.”

Sarah flung her door open. “Hello?”

A woman in a black suit stood on Sarah’s front porch with her back turned to Sarah as she scratched her black hair. “Why did they send me out here. This is a waste of time.”

“Can I help you?”

The woman turned around and blinked her blue eyes. “Oh, hello there.” She smiled and held out her hand. “My name is Karen.”

Sarah smirked. “Karen? It must suck to have that name.”

She bent her head to the side. “I don’t follow.”

Sarah’s cheeks turned red. “Oh, I um. . .” She slid her hands into her pockets. “Never mind. It isn’t important. What did you want?”

“My boss sent me here to retrieve something.”

“Who is your boss, if I may ask?”

“Fredrick.”

Sarah narrowed her eyes. “Get off my property.” She slammed the door in Karen’s face.

Karen pounded on the other side of the door. “Please listen. I just want a few moments of your time.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Please leave.”

“Please, you can’t send me back to Fredrick empty handed. I just can’t. I am begging you.”

Sarah turned around and crossed her arms.  She genuinely sounds scared. I have never heard that in one of these Fredrick Fancy goons before. Just what is Fredrick doing to them?  She sighed.  I know I am going to regret this.

“Ok, Karen. You have five minutes to explain what is going on.” She opened the door. “Start talking.”

Karen sighed and tapped her index fingers together. “Where to start. My life has been a bit crazy at late. It all started when I was tasked with finding some strange potions from a...”

Sarah waved her hands. “Look, I don’t want your whole life story. Just get to the point.”

“My boss seems to think you know the contact information to Potion’s R Us. So, I spent the last week hunting you down to avoid being sent to the experimental department of Fredricks Fancy.” She shivered. “I am not going back there.”

Sarah shook her head. “Wait, what? Potion’s R Us? I have never heard of them.”

“You can’t be serious. A strange store with all of these odd potions that can do weird things. It isn’t ringing a bell?”

“No. The only place like that is your stupid company. And they suck at doing that in the first place with their sup par cereal and sports drinks.” Sarah gagged. “I can’t believe I ever enjoyed their products enough to be changed in size by them. Yuck.”

Karen shrugged her shoulders. “Well, Fredrick thinks you know how to find that store.

And he is obsessed with it.”

“Well, better the store than me.” She shook her head. “That jerk was chasing me for almost a year just because I could change in size. It was sickening.”

“Well, I don’t know if he is after you anymore. I sure as hell didn’t come here just for you.” Karen rubbed her nose. “I just came here because well. . .” She turned around. “I already said.”

Sarah sighed. “Well, I don’t know anything about this crazy potion shop. Also, your five minutes are up. So can you please leave my house?”

“Fine. But if you find anything out, can you please tell me. I am a bit desperate here.”

Sarah shook her head. “Sorry, but I swore I would never deal with Fredricks Fancy again. Not after they tried to use me as a human test dummy.”

Karren nodded her head. “I know how you feel. I hope you have a good rest of your day.” She walked down the small dirt path towards the road as Sarah closed the door.

“Well, that lady reminded me of the old Fredricks Fancy.” She shrugged her shoulders and walked into the next room. “I almost miss the days when they were not trying to kidnap me and make me grow for them. Crazy people.” Her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket. “That must be Carien. She must have gotten my half a dozen calls.”

She looked at her phone only to see a number she didn’t recognize. “It better not be that Karen lady.” She answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Is this Sarah Collinsworth?”

“Yes! You just talked to me, Karen. Of course, you know who it is.”

“Karen? My name is Jeff. I work for Potion’s R’ Us. I was wondering if you wanted to take part in one of our special promotions.”

She blinked her eyes. “What kind of promotion? And how did you get my number? It is unlisted.”

“We do not disclose our methods here at Potion’s R Us. And the promotion is just to give away free merchandise. It is our one-year anniversary, and we have almost sold our one-thousandth potion so we are feeling very generous. Do you wish to partake?”

“One moment, please.”

“Take all the time you need to.”

She put Jeff on hold and set the phone down. “What the hell?” Sarah took a deep breath. “How is it that I just had one of the nicest Fredricks Fancy employees show up on my doorstep talking about Potion’s R Us, and minutes later, they call me? Is this some new scheme? A scam.” She took a deep breath. “Just what is going on? Oh god, what do I do?” She looked down at her phone. “Just take a deep breath.”

Sarah picked her phone back up. “Are you still there, Jeff?”

“Of course.”

“So, tell me about this merchandise.”

“We sell anything you can think of when it comes to potions. So just come down to our shop and browse to your heart’s content.”

“And where is your shop?”

“At the end of your street.”

“I don’t recall. . .”

“It’s ok. We don’t stay in one place for too long. Just come down by the end of the day, and we can talk more. See you in a bit.” He hung up.

Sarah sighed. “Well, this is turning out to be one very, very weird day.” She put her phone down on the tabletop. “Maybe even for me.” She shook her head. “Well, I guess it’s time to head to this strange potion shop and see what all of the fuss is about.” Sarah looked down at her phone. “I think I will leave you here. In case something weird happens, I don’t want to have you on me and lose you.” She turned around. “With everything I have been through in the last year, I know better than that.” She laughed as she walked towards her front door.

***

A few minutes later, Sarah found herself standing in front of the Potion’s R Us store. “Where did this thing come from?” She looked at the glowing neon sign. “I think I would have seen this before.”

“Hello there, Sarah.” A man almost half her height walked through some mist and out of the store. He had short red hair and a strange red and blue outfit. “Welcome to Potion’s R Us.”

“How do you know my name again? I have never seen you before.”

He laughed. “Oh, come now, Sarah. That isn’t important now, is it? You came here for free potions. Now let’s get to it, shall we?”

She shrugged. “Well, I guess so.” She looked at the potions lining the wall as she walked inside. “What kind of cooky place is this?”

“Oh, it is a wonderful place where we make dreams come true.” He smiled as he caught a vial falling off a twisting apparatus above. “So, anything you can think of will happen here.”

“That um sounds interesting.” Sarah jumped back as a black cat jumped out from behind one of the potion racks. “Gezze, this place is right out of the movies.”

“Why, thank you. We love compliments like that.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t. . .” She shook her head. “Never mind.

Hey, I never got your name.”

“Oh.” He put the vial onto one of the shelves. “It is Philanstar.”

“You can’t be serious.”

He turned around and put his hands on his hips, appearing even more diminutive and rounder than before. “It is a very common name I will let you know. Much more than something like Sarah.”

She held up her hands. “Ok, ok. I didn’t mean any offense. I just haven’t heard anyone with that name before. Do you mind if I just call you Phil for short?”

He shook his head. “No. I don’t like Phil. But you can call me Philip.” He snorted and turned around. “Now enough of this nonsense. Let’s get to you picking your free potion, shall we?”

Sarah ran her right hand through her hair. “Goodness. Yes, let’s.” This place is nuts.

Philip walked towards the back of the store. “So here is our free and must go promotion merchandise. Please take a look. I have to look into another matter, but I should be back by the time you have selected something.” He took a few steps forward before stopping. “Oh yes, remember. You only get one free item. After that, you have to pay.”

Sarah nodded her head. “Got it. I didn’t bring any money with me, so one it is.” Philip smiled and walked away.  I don’t want to try too many of these crazy products then I have to anyways.

“Ok, what do we have here?” She pressed her finger on the first vial. “Handy Car’s Night Out?” Sarah narrowed her eyes in confusion. “What in the world? What does the label on this say?” She picked up the vial. “Have a break down with your car? This vial will help make sure you are not stranded. When the night becomes, drink the contents, and roar off into the night. Those with a weak stomach do not drink.”

She set the vial down. “Ya, I don’t think I want that. If that does what I think it does, that bottle can take a hike. What else do they have?” She picked up the next vial. “Hippy Hoppty. Give to the one you love, and they will be even more huggable. Even if they are now a bit fluffier and tinier. Please note that if you drink this yourself, you might be in a hopping situation for quite some time, so keep carrots on hand.” Sarah took a deep breath and set the bottle back down. “I remember becoming a small rabbit when my family was over. I don’t need to go through that again.”

She picked up the next vial. “The Growth Aspect. Drink this little devil, and the magic will start to happen as your body is primed for premium growth action. Now, whenever you encounter any water for the next twenty-four hours, you will start to grow. Disclaimer lemonade will actually cause you to shrink, and we haven’t been able to work out the kinks on this no matter how much we try. But if you grow too much, it is a way to reverse the effects prematurely.”

“There are not any good options here. I don’t just want to grow again.” Sarah sighed. “Is this all this place pedals onto people? This is Fredricks Fancy all over again.” She shrugged. “Or at least I guess these people have a better working shop, but still, and I am guessing their potions work more often but still it is Fredricks Fancy two-point o.”

“So, did you find what you were looking for?”

Sarah turned around with The Growth Aspect vial in her hand. “I don’t know. I just can’t seem to find anything that suits my needs, Philip.”

He pointed at the bottle in her hand. “But it looks like you picked our top-of-the-line growing potion.”

“Oh, this? I didn’t—

“Nonsense. Now come with me, and we can make things official.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Fine.”

They walked to the register at the front of the store, where the black cat sat licking its front paw. Philip waved his hands. “Down, Ester.” The cat stared at him. “Come on, do as I say. You want me to give you the antidote tonight, right?”

“Mrowww.”

“Esterrr.”

The cat slowly stood up before jumping down onto the ground and hissing. “That was the nine hundred and ninety-ninth customer. But, unfortunately, he has buyer remorse.” Philip laughed as he walked behind the counter. “Now, shall we?”

Sarah watched as the cat walked away. “That was one of your customers? What in the world did you do to him?”

“Nothing that Ester didn’t ask for.” Philip put his elbows on the desk. “We are not horrible people here. We don’t change people without their consent. That is why you have to drink our potions first. Unlike some people, we have standards.”

“I umm. . .” She sighed. “I am sorry. So, what do I have to do since it’s free.”

He handed her a pamphlet. “Here. Just take this as a certificate for being our one-thousandth customer. That is, it, really. Thank you for coming.” He smiled. “Have a good rest of your day. Cheers.”

Sarah turned around with the paper and bottle in her hands. “Umm, yes. Cheers.” She slid the certificate into her pocket. “Have a nice day.”

Once she was out the door, Sarah breathed a sigh of relief. “Finally.” She slid her hands behind her head. “I can go home and find out what happened to Carien.”

“Hey!” Karen suddenly jumped out in front of Sarah.

“Holy fuck!” Sarah fell onto the ground. “Why did you jump out like that and scare me?”

“Good job finding this store for me. I won’t have to be sent to be worked on for Fredricks Fancy’s experiments after all.”

Sarah shook her head. “What the hell. You were following me?” She stood up.

“And just when I thought you were a decent Fredricks Fancy employee. Why can’t any of you people be good?”

Karen threw her arms up. “I will do anything not be used as a lab rat. Do you want to know what they did to me?”

Sarah shook her head. “Not really.”

“They stuck needles in my arm and injected fluid into my body that made my head grow for an hour. Do you know what it is like to have a massive head?”

“Look, I don’t like being used. It isn’t right.” She pointed at Karen. “And I don’t think Fredrick should have access to such a shop either. It is bad enough with his subpar products. He doesn’t need the real thing.”

“I am sorry, but I need the potions in there. And the one you have on you right now.”

Karen grabbed Sarah by the arm. “Now you are going to give it to me, and then I am going to use it to take over the Potion’s R Us store for my boss.”

Sarah pulled away. “Are you nuts?”

“I am desperate. There is a difference. Now hand it over.”

Sarah kneed Karen in the chest and twisted away. “I am not giving you this potion.”

She pulled out the vial. “Even I have to do this.” She pulled off the cork and chugged the contents. “There. Now you can’t use it.” Sarah shivered. “Oh god, that has some kick to it.”

Karen tightened her hands into fists. “Do you know what you have done? My life is ruined you. . . you bitch!”

Sarah shook her head. “Oh, calm down. This thing wouldn’t have helped you much anyways unless you have a steady access to water. It only causes you to grow when you come in contact with it.” Sarah laughed. “Why do you think I drank it without hesitation. I can just avoid water for the next twenty-four hours and be good.” She smiled. “Best potion ever compared to your company’s lousy products.”

Karen grabbed Sarah by the shoulders and shook her. “But what am I supposed to do now? Fredrick is going to skin me alive.”

Sarah pushed Karen away. “Get a new job? How hard is that?”

“Have you seen the economy? That is like asking me to give you a kidney.”

“You can’t be that serious. You can get a job.”

Karen shook her head. “I guess it isn’t the end of the world anyways. The potion shop is here right now.” She pulled out her phone. “Hello. Fredrick? Umm, yes, I have a bit of a problem but don’t worry, I found the potion shop.” She pushed Sarah away as she continued to talk. “Just send people over to my location like we talked, and it will be here, I promise. Perfect.” She hung up and twisted away from Sarah. “There. Too late now.” She held up her hands. “My associates will be here soon, and I can move on with my life.”

Sarah slammed her foot onto the ground. “I can still stop this nonsense.”

Karen sighed. “Well, you better think up something quick as they will be here in just a few minutes. And unless you actually have some of that growing water or whatever it was on you right now, well, I think you can’t do much to stop this.”

Sarah sighed and looked at her hands.  She is right. I am having a hard enough time dealing with her at this height. How am I supposed to deal with multiple Fredricks Fancy goons unless I find a way to get this potion to kick in? But I can just leave.  She narrowed her eyes at Karen. “You are loving this, aren’t you?”

Karen held up her hands. “I said I am just doing this because I have to. Not because I find it funny. It was either you or me. Sorry to say.” The sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. “What was that?”

Sarah looked up at the sky. “Strange. I don’t remember rough weather today.”

Thick rolling clouds quickly rolled in from the north and blocked out the sun shining above. Karen shivered and tightened up her suit. “What in the world?”

Sarah felt the bottle in her hand jostle around. “Huh?” She lifted it up to see worlds come into existence on the side. “Once the potion has been consumed by the user, liquid water shall rain down from the sky to help the user sprout up and grow proud and true.”

Sarah shook her head. “Oh no. Please don’t tell me. . .” Another round of thunder rumbled from above. “I just want one time where I don’t grow out of control.”

“What are you babbling on about?” Karen demanded. She looked up at the sky again. “Also, just get away and indoors before anything bad happens. I demand it.”

Sarah took a deep breath. “I umm.” She felt sprinkles of water tickle her exposed arms, and vibrations rocked throughout her body. “Ohhhh.” She stumbled backward until she hit the nearby lamp post. “Oh, this is kind of intense.”

Sarah put her hand over her heart as it began to race, and she took deep breaths. “Oh goodness. Everything is starting to feel warm.” She heard a vehicle pull up. “Huh?”

Karen jumped into the air. “Finally.” She rushed over as multiple men and women in grey outfits stepped out of a dark van. “You are here. Now hurry into the store and get the potions.”

A man with dark hair and glasses pointed his gnarly pale hand at Sarah. “What about her?”

Karen laughed as she began to walk down the street. “What about her? Look, just go in, do your job and tell Fredrick what a good helper I was. Ok? Now bye.”

The same man grabbed Karen by the collar of her suit. “Nope. Bosses’ orders. You stay and help until the job is over with.”

Karen spat on the ground. “Fuck. He said I could go home after this. This isn’t fair.”

“Life isn’t fair. Now get in here and help us take everything that isn’t nailed down back to Fredricks Fancy.”

“Wait.” Sarah held up her hand and took deep breaths. “You can’t just do this. Oh god.”

The group of Fredrick Fancy hooligans turned towards Sarah, and the man who held Karen laughed. “What do you think you are going to do? You can barely stand up, lady.”

“I. . .” Sarah’s breasts started to vibrate on her chest. “I will find some way to stop you.”

He laughed even more. “What is going on with your body? Your boobs are dancing like they have a mind of their own.”

Sarah felt the potion’s effects coursing through her veins. “It isn’t anything that bad.” Her breasts suddenly doubled in size. “It is perfectly normal.”

The group of employees all started to giggle. “Right, perfectly normal.”

Sarah looked down at her chest. “Oh god.” Her nipples pushed against her shirt. “Ughh.” Sarah’s body grew an entire foot as she pressed her hands against her breasts. “How did this happen?” She groaned. “Ohh, this wasn’t part of the deal.”

The man who had been talking to Sarah turned his attention to Karen once more. “What is going on, Karen. You didn’t tell us anything about crazy growing women.”

She shrugged. “What can I say, Petterson. You deal with Potion’s R Us; crazy things will happen. Just like the time you sent me there, and I turned into a freaking giantess myself.”

Petterson threw Karen to the side. “Well, it doesn’t matter.” He raised his voice. “Just do your job, everyone, and get the potions.” He looked at Sarah as she swelled another foot. “We can worry about her later.”

Sarah held up her hands. “Wait.” More rainwater fell onto her body, and she grew yet again, her clothing tightening onto her like a vice. Finally, she fell onto her knees. “Stop.

You can’t do this.” Her breasts vibrated once more. “Ohhhhh god.”

Petterson glanced back at Sarah. “This is none of your concern, miss. Just be happy that we don’t need your services today.” He dragged Karen into the shop, and the others vanished inside with him.

“Ughhh.” Her entire body vibrated as her breasts grew once again, her nipples pushing their way through her shirt. “Ohh.” She slowly stood up, the growth now starting to become more consistent. “I have to do something. Ohh god.” She scratched at her legs as her pants started to rip. “I am never going to get used to this.” Sarah pulled her shirt apart, not wanting her swelling body to tear it asunder. “Oh, that feels better.” She stretched her body and leaned against the side of the Potion’s R Us building.

“Ohhh.” She blinked as she looked up at the rain clouds above. The falling water was only intensifying. “I have to get out of this rain.” She looked down. “And there is only one place to go.”

She crawled on her hands and knees as she made her way towards Potion’s R Us entrance. “I need to hurry and get inside.” She pushed the door open as her pants tore apart. “Before I will be too big to think about stopping them.” She slid her arms and head through the doorway, her hands knocking over rows upon rows of vials. “Come on.” Sarah winced as she continued to grow, and her body started to swell into the doorway’s frame. “This isn’t good.”

Sarah pulled herself through the doorframe, knocking over yet another rack of potions as she pulled her torse and legs into the shop. This time the collection of vials fell right on top of a Fredrick Fancy goon. “Fucking help!”

Sarah turned her head as she pulled her giant feet in. “Huh?”

She looked down at the woman trying to dig her way out of the hundreds of potion bottles. “Wow, I already got one. Great.”

She looked around the store as she stood up. “Holy crap.” Sarah stood in a massive cavern filled to the brim with thousands, perhaps millions of potions. “This is not the store I left behind. This place is massive.” She wrapped her arms around her body. “I am only a few dozen feet tall, and I am a gnat in this place. Shezzh.”

She took a few steps forward, her feet crushing some bottles. “Ugh, I think I need to be careful.” She lifted her foot, her shoe on the verge of bursting apart. “I don’t need any more crazy potion’s affecting my body. As it is, I am going to grow if I get water onto my body.” Sarah sighed. “Trying to stop these people in this place will be a nightmare.” Thunder rumbled from above, and she looked above as water trickled down onto her shoulders.

“You have got to be kidding me.”