The Wonderland Raid Part 2 (Patreon)

The Wonderland Raid Part 2

Vess looked around at the rows upon rows of vials filled with red liquid stretched out before her. She scratched her chin with one hand and used her other hand to snap her fingers. “How am I supposed to get these potions out of here?” She sighed and looked at the hundreds of small cakes marked Eat Me on the other side of the gardens. “Not to mention how am I supposed to get those out of here?” She shook her head. “This is going to be a nightmare.”

Vess turned her head as she heard voices coming from behind her. “I want the pastries and potions here triple checked by the end of the day.”

“But my queen, we barely have enough time to check the royal supplies once.”

Vess ducked out of sight as the royal procession came into view. Her eyes widened as she noticed just who the voices belonged to. “Are you questioning me?”

“No, no, no, no.” A living two of spades playing card waved his hands back and forth. “Of course not, my queen. I... Would never dare to question you.”

A mountain of a woman in a dark red dress covered in hearts walked forward and grabbed the living playing card pulling him off the ground. “Lucky for you, I am in a good mood today.” She snorted and used her free hand to hit the poor lad on the head with her scepter, the head of which was a heart. “I do not want excuses. I want results.” She raised her voice. “Now, I am not going to repeat myself. Get to it, or heads will roll.”

Vess gulped. “Well, this sure complicates things.” She ran her hands through her dark hair. “So now I also have to contend with these weird human-like...” She shook her hand out in front of her. “Deck of cards? Is that what I’m really dealing with right now? As if a giant rabbit in a trench coat and finding a goldmine of size-changing food and drinks wasn’t enough, there has to be living playing cards.” She shook her head and ducked behind a nearby bush. “If I do get out of here, no one is going to ever believe this.”

She approached the first pile of cakes marked Eat Me. “I need to come up with a plan and quickly.” She turned her head. “Preferably before the spade brigade finds me.” She looked at the cakes in front of her and scratched her chin. “I know there is something I can do, but it’s just not coming to me.” Vess sighed. “Come on, think.”

“Hey! Who are you?”

Vess turned around and smiled. “I am...” She scratched at the back of her head. “I am the help that your queen sent for you.” She gulped. I hope that they buy this.

The two of spades walked up until he was right in her face. “The Red Queen didn’t say she was sending any kind of unique help.” He narrowed his eyes and examined Vess. “Are you sure that the Red Queen sent you?”

Straightened her back. “You dare question the will of the Red Queen?” Vess rapidly blinked her eyes to try and make herself look more menacing. “Do you want me to tell the queen of this?”

His face filled suddenly with fear. “Oh no. Please, no, anything but that.” the two of spades fell at Vess’s feet. “We are sorry we questioned you. Go about your business.”

Vess smirked. That worked out better than I thought. She was about to turn around when a devious thought crossed her mind. “One more thing. The Red Queen wants you to help me transport these through that door over there.” She pointed at the small doorway through which she had entered the gardens.

“But there is nothing that way except for a maze of hallways and the entrance to Wonderland.”

“Well, your queen feels that these pastries and potions can better be documented in there.” Vess crossed her arms. “I mean, you can take it up with the queen herself. But do you really want to anger her? I sure wouldn’t. I’m a fan of keeping my head on its shoulders.”

He shuddered. “I want my head on its shoulders as well. We all do.” He turned his head. “Let’s get the Eat Me cakes and Drink Me potions back into the hall of tears. For the Red Queen.”

Vess held in a laugh as the playing cards went to do her work for her. I can’t believe my luck. This went from a worst-case scenario to best-case scenario in a matter of moments. Now I just need to figure out how to get back up that damn hole, and I will be home free. She smiled wickedly.

As the playing cards went to work, she walked back into the circular room. “Ok, now I need to figure out how to get back to that rabbit hole.” She scratched at the side of her head. “There has to be some way to find a way back there. Or at the very least, an alternative way out of this, um, what did they call it, Wonderland? It doesn’t matter as long as I get out of here.”

She turned around as the four of clubs dragged in a pile of eat-me pastries. “Hmm, maybe if I can’t find my way out of here...” She picked up one of the small cakes and examined it. “I can open my own route out of here. I mean, I only fell down here, right? So, if I eat enough of these, I could break my way right back up to the surface.” She threw the small cake up into the air and caught it. “Speaking of which, if I do find that damn rabbit hole, I can just eat these, grow and climb my way out with my loot.” Vess laughed. “It’s perfect either way. Soon I will have the world’s best merchandise at my disposal.”

Vess held her hand up as four of clubs began to walk off. “Excuse me.” He turned around and narrowed his eyes. “Can you answer something for me?”

“What is it?”

“Can you point me in the direction of the rabbit hole?”

“Do you mean the entrance to Wonderland?” He scratched at his head. “What kind of loonie calls it the rabbit hole?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Someone who is friends with the Red Queen does. Now, will you tell me or not?”

He sighed. “That door right there.” Vess turned and looked to see where his arm pointed. “Once you head into the corridor of hallways, the entrance to Wonderland will be the fourth door on your right.” He sighed. “Why do you want to know?”

“I was just curious.” Vess smiled. “That’ll be all you can get back to what you were doing.”

He rolled his eyes and turned around.

Vess rubbed her hands together. “Now I know how to get out. Now I know where I can get out.” she turned her head and looked at the playing cards as they deposited her goods into the room. “Now, I just need to wait until everything is in place.” She looked at the pastry in her hand. “Once everything is ready, it’ll be time to grow and get out of here.” Vess smiled.

***

Vess sat up as one of the playing cards poked her face. “Hey! what do you think you are doing?”

“We are finished. Get up. The queen is coming.”

Vess rubbed her eyes. “That is absurd. She can’t be coming.” Vess shook her head as she walked towards the gigantic pile of potions. She lowered her voice. “That old hag can’t ruin things now. I am just about ready to make off with my goods from this crazy place.” She clenched her hands into a fist. “This can’t be happening.”

“Who is responsible for this atrocity?” The Red Queen stormed into the room, her scepter dragging on the floor. “Speak up now so I can remove your head.”

Everyone in the room trembled. The two of spades slowly walked forward. “My queen. We thought. . .”

“You thought what?” She narrowed her beady eyes. “That I would like all of the royal supplies moved in here for no reason?”

Vess moved in front of one of the Eat Me cake piles and grabbed a pastry while everyone was distracted.

“But you said.”

The queen’s eyes widened in rage. “I said? When did I ask you to bring these things into this forsaken place? You know I have lost all of my patience. Off with your head.”

The two of spades held his measly arms over his head. “No, please. It wasn’t my fault.”

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore without your head.” The Red Queen turned around. “Where is my executioner?”

The two of spades pointed at Vess. “It was her. She was the one who told us to come here.”

Vess shoved the Eat Me pastry into her mouth and quickly swallowed it whole. “What me? I would never do such a thing.” She smiled as she felt a tingle run through her body. “I think it was the four of clubs that did this.”

The Red Queen narrowed her eyes and walked over. “Who are you? I have never seen you before.”

Vess shrugged her shoulders. “I am just someone who is passing on through. There isn’t any harm in that now, is there?”

“People do not just pass through Wonderland.” The Red Queen grabbed Vess by the shirt. “And you do not look like that annoying Alice girl. So, I will ask again, who are you?”

Vess gulped. Why hasn’t my body started to grow yet? I can’t keep stalling forever. This damn growth cake better kick soon, or I might be the one who is losing a head. “I don’t think that I need to tell you.” She laughed. “I mean, is there any reason why you need to know who I am?”

“I am the Red Queen. Everyone does what I say, or they lose their heads.” The queen tapped Vess on the head with her scepter. “So, I will give you one last chance because I’m feeling a little bit generous for some reason. Tell me who you are if you want to keep that pretty little head of yours.”

Vess could feel her clothing begin to tighten. “Oh, I don’t think I will have to do that anymore.” She looked down as her toes began to push through her shoes. “I think you will be doing what I say soon enough.” Vess giggled.

The Red Queen took a few steps back. “What did you do?” She shook her head. “Where is my executioner? I want her head off before it gets any bigger. You hear me? Off with her head!”

Vess ignored her as she continued to grow and instead turned towards the group of playing cards. “You!” She winced as her feet burst through her shoes and her waistline tightened around her like a vice. “I need you to drag all of these goods towards the rabbit hole, err, I mean entrance of Wonderland.” She sighed. “On the double.”

The two of spades shook his head. “Or what?”

Vess slammed her foot down. “Or I will rip you in half.” She laughed. “You all will soon be the size of normal playing cards to me. So don’t test me. Now go!”

They rushed off to do her bidding once more as the button on her pants snapped off her body. “Ugh.” Vess grabbed at her waistline. “Why the fuck aren’t my clothes growing with me this time? What is wrong with this place.” She sighed. “I didn’t want to get back my home naked. Ughh.”

She turned her attention to the entryway which would lead her to the hallway of doors. “I don’t think I should waste any more time.” She looked down at the floor as she grew another few inches. “I need to make my way to that rabbit hole now, so I am not trapped here because my body grew too large.”

Vess made her way over to the small door and bent over. “As it is, this thing will be a tight fit.” She scratched at her forehead as her breasts pressed against her shirt. “Maybe eating that pastry wasn’t the best idea.” She sighed. “Well, it is too late now. I will just have to make do.” Vess fell onto her knees and opened the door. She then squeezed her way through and into the hallway beyond.

Once she was on the other side, she immediately turned around to face the circular room, her ass hitting the sides of the hallway as she turned. “Now hurry up and bring me those supplies. I have places to be and things to do. I do not have time to waste because a bunch of lazy playing cards decided to drag their feet.” Vess slammed her hand down onto the ground and sent some of the living cards flying into the air. “So, hurry up with what you are doing, and don’t make me come in there.” She snorted and turned back around.

She shook her head as she crawled down the hallway. “Well, I guess the good thing is I am no longer growing.” She tugged at her skintight shirt. “Not only do I not becoming trapped in this hallway, I don’t have to worry about bursting my clothes apart. Ugh.” Vess reached the door which led to the rabbit hole and opened it. “Ah, here we are.” She looked up the shaft. “Glad to see I wasn’t lied to.” she laughed. “Now to just wait on my prize coming to me.” Vess laid down in the center of the hallway and waited for her helpers to bring her all the shrinking potions and growth cakes.

***

“We are done.”

Vess sat up and hit her head on the roof of the hallway. “Well, it is about time.” She looked at the pile of stolen goods stacked in front of the doorway which led out of Wonderland. “I do have to thank you, and don’t think it hasn’t been a pleasure.” Vess crawled towards her freedom. “Because it hasn’t. Now go back to whatever it was you were doing. I do hope that none of you lose your heads over this.” She laughed.

“Oh, just one more thing.”

Vess Turned around. “What is it?” She pushed some of the Eat Me cakes into the rabbit hole. “What do you want now, queenie.”

The queen threw a strange blue liquid over Vess. “I still want your head.” She held her scepter in her hand. “And I will be getting your head.”

Vess’s cheeks flushed red with anger. “You have got to be kidding me. I will...” Her body began to tremble, and she felt her skin constrict. “What did you do?” the room suddenly began to grow. Vess gasped as she fell onto her rear end. Her clothes quickly became heavy on her body as she shrank, and she tried her best to keep them from falling off her body. “Oh no, no, no.”

The Red Queen smiled and walked over slowly. “Not so tough now, are we?” She rubbed her hand along her scepter as Vess shrank below the Red Queen’s height. “Hopefully, you don’t shrink down too much, or it will be a bit too hard to take that head off of your precious little body.”

Vess looked up at the queen as she held her shirt over her body. “You won’t be getting my head.” She turned around and looked at the mound of pastries in the rabbit hole. “Not with that many growing cakes in there, you won’t.”

Just as Vess began to run, the Red Queen grabbed her by the shirt and picked her up off the ground. “Oh, I don’t think you are going anywhere.” She watched as Vess shrank into her clothing, her pants falling onto the floor. “Oh, executioner. It is finally time for someone to lose their head.”

Vess both the queen and her gigantic shirt. “Nooooo.” She fell into the right sleeve of her shirt. “I need to get out of here. I can’t let this crazy woman take my head.” She pulled herself to the edge of her shirt sleeve. “Oh God, that is a huge drop.” Vess gulped. “I must have really shrunk. I am looking at a literal cliff to get out of my shirt.” She took a deep breath. “But I have to do this. The alternative is unthinkable.”

Vess closed her eyes and leaped off the side of her shirt sleeve. “Ahhhhhh!” She landed in the center of one of the Eat Me cakes, bouncing up and down. “That was lucky.” Vess smiled. “Now I can just...” She turned her head skyward as a shadow fell over her. “Oh shit!”

She jumped off the pastry just before the Red Queen stomped on it. “I don’t have to cut off your head. Stepping on you will work just as well.” The Red Queen smashed her scepter inches away from where Vess was standing. “Now, just stand still.”

Vess ran between two potion bottles as the Red Queen tried to smash her. “I just have to run a little bit further.” She took a deep breath. “I am almost there.”

Vess turned her head skyward before she dashed out into the open. She avoided yet another attempt by the queen to crush Vess underneath the queens’ boot heel. “You little gnat.”

Vess dived forward straight into an Eat Me pastry in the center of the rabbit hole. She quickly dug into the cake. “Come on.” She threw a handful of sweet goodness into her mouth and swallowed.” I need to get big and large, and it needs to happen now.”

The Red Queen picked up the cake that Vess was hiding in. “End of the line.” The queen tapped Vess on the head. “While this little back and forth chase has been fun at times, it is time to put things to an end.” She formed her hand into a fist. “I do wonder how you will taste alongside that pastry.”

Vess’s body began to tremble, and the Red Queen looked at her in surprise. “Huh?” suddenly Vess rocketed upward, growing at an alarming rate. She knocked the queen to the floor as her body quickly filled up the rabbit hole.

“Holy shit!” Vess didn’t have that much time to react. She quickly reached down at her feet and grabbed her ill-gotten gains. She grabbed them before it was too late, and the walls of the rabbit hole closed in around her. “Ugh, this is all happening too fast.” She winced as the sides of the rabbit hole pressed her body together. Vess groaned as she continued to grow and grow. “I am...” She winced as the sides of the strange tunnel cracked and groaned from her expanding body. “I think I might have made a mistake.”

Suddenly her head burst forth from the ground, and she could see daylight. Vess shook her head and took deep breaths. “I am out?” She looked around and saw that she was in the park where she had first so the white rabbit. “I am out!”

Vess tried to stand up but found that she was stuck. “You have got to be kidding me.” She looked down at the ground and found that only her head was sticking out. “I come this far only to get stuck here? I can feel the bottom of the hole with my feet.” She tried to push herself upward, but the tight walls around her kept her in place. “Ughhhh. come on.” Using all her strength, she pushed as hard as she could. The ground around her began to rip asunder as she slowly rose upward. Then, in an instant, she popped upwards like a cork released from a bottle. She shot out of the ground with her stolen goods in tow and landed on the nearby buildings, flattening them.

Vess shook her head and looked around. “Ugh, I will have a headache for a week.” She rubbed her head. “Wow. Everything is so small.” She touched the nearby building and picked it up like a dollhouse. “I guess I went a little bit on the extreme side getting out of that crazy Wonderland place.” She shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t really matter that much. I have their size altering food and drink, and now I can use it in my business.” She smiled wickedly. “Look out, world. The Vess Wonderland special is coming.”