Bathroom Business (Patreon)

Today is apparently "World Toilet Day." Here are some "facts" about Tamrielic bathroom business. 

• When the Armistice was signed, the Empire imported a ton of religious literature to attempt to convert the dunmer. At first, they thought it was working, since everyone was gladly taking the books. They soon realized that the Dunmer were just using them as toilet paper. 
• Ashlanders and other rural Dunmer do their business into pits of specialized excrement eating bugs. The resulting mix is then used to fertilize gardens. (This one was a real thing Michael proposed for TES3) 
• Bosmeri chamber pots are gourd-shaped, lidded vessels built from resin and animal hair, ranging in size from one foot (personal) to a yard (communal). When full, they are sealed and stored for times of war, when they are thrown onto enemies from the treetops. 
• Altmer are said to build their bathrooms above magical portals that then spirit their waste into Oblivion. While this is demonstrably false, it did not stop some from blaming them for causing the Oblivion Crisis. 
• Altmer prefer to wash rather than wipe. In wealthy households, this means specialized bidets. For the lower classes, a sponge on a stick. Wiping with cloth, and, later, paper was an Ayleid adaptation to the high humidity of the Heartland. 

(I've been thinking a lot about the mundane aspects of life in Tamriel lately, and while I haven't quite found what the narrative frame is yet, I'll be posting more bullet point ideas for things soon)