Three Sheets to the Wind (Chapter 3) (Patreon)

Delilah giggled all the while, swaying back and forth with those immense boulders still resting upon the bar, while the major recovered in the fetal position thanks to his fall. Again he wasn’t hurt, but needed a moment to recuperate from the fact that, even if Delilah had carefully avoided dropping her boobs on him, her bulbous chest had still landed hard on the ground not ten feet away from him. A little slower, a quicker trip, or even a mistake on Delilah’s part, and the major knew he could’ve easily now been buried beneath the swollen, unbearable, jiggly weight of those dual cans. His discomfort had officially turned to outright fear.

“Amazing work, major! I feel like I’m a better soldier every minute!” Delilah boomed. She reared back, returning to her seat, and picked up yet another melon-tini, swirling it cheekily in the glass before chugging. “That was very… impressive. I guess we know why you made it past being a cadet, right?”

“R-Right…” he stammered. Quaking, the major clambered to his feet, neither standing at attention nor believing he still possessed the necessary authority to call Delilah out for her actions.

“Oh, I thought of another good… um, training challenge-game!” the giantess blurted next. With her glass still half-full, the girl stabbed her finger vertically against the bar surface and began circling around the major, corralling him in place. Chuckling, she added: “Sorry, I mean… just a challenge. Not a game. Training is not a joke, sir.”

“That’s correct, officer,” he whimpered.

“We’ve tried the fighting stuff and the disaster stuff, but what about… ooh, what’s the word again?” Delilah murmured. “Evasive swimming! Two words. That’s it! See, I haven’t watched the cadets do this inside the facility, so I don’t know how to do it myself. But if you can’t stay calm in water, you’re in big trouble once those waves and rapids hit, right, sir?”

The major watched Delilah eyeing her glass. This couldn’t possibly be heading where he thought it was. He swallowed hard, perspiring now at the endless possibilities for what this citadel of a woman could do to him.

“T-That’s true…” he numbly responded, too scared to do otherwise.

“I’m happy you agree! So… let’s see what you can do, major,” Delilah concluded, and with that, the finger she’d been taunting him with pressed his body again, only this time her thumb joined at his back, pinching the micro-man in between her gloved digits and swooping him up into the air at dizzying velocity.

Panicked into silence, the little man squirmed between the pillowy white pads of those fingertips, but soon came to miss their security when Delilah opened her hand again, causing him to tumble off the cushy ridge of her thumb. He flailed, spinning in space for a half-second, before plunking head-long into the pink pond of her drink. The major surfaced, sputtering and treading alcohol, while anxiously huffing the head-spinning fog of watermelon and liquor. Just when he managed to stay afloat, though, the godlike glove of his subordinate curled and clamped around the stem of the glass, scooping it up. As Delilah mixed the concoction again in her hand like a whirlpool, she leaned back in her chair, girlishly tittering and becoming rather enthralled at the sight of the speck-sized major fighting to keep his head over the delicious liquid.

“You’re doing such a great job, little major,” Delilah encouraged. “That’s some super-good swimming. But you know what would make this an even better challenge for someone so important and experienced?”

The major was too preoccupied with floundering to ask what Delilah meant, but he got an answer anyway when the swirling stopped just in time for the glass to ascend toward her face. Laughing again, the power-drunk giantess licked her lips, slathering them with a fresh gloss of saliva, then opened her jaws as wide as possible. A uvula-vibrating ahhhh roared from the back of her throat as though she was visiting the doctor, allowing the tavern lights to shine across every slick, slimy curve within. Delilah’s tongue rose serpentinely from the basin of her rosy mouth, waving to the major as the glass rim touched her lower lip, pressing down into a slope. Liquid dripped into her parched, cave-like maw.

“Here comes your toughest task yet, my favorite itty-bitty teeny-tiny major,” Delilah triumphantly whispered. Then with a flick of her wrist, she dumped the contents of the melon-tini flute over her teeth, her diminutive superior included.

His yelp was drowned by the crashing slosh of the beverage. The major rode the waterfall out of the glass and into the lesser officer’s waiting mouth. Recognizable surroundings and carousing sound were replaced instantly by squishy darkness and muggy void. Tumbled every which way, the major splashed into the moat of lukewarm liquor now pooled around that beast of a tongue. Satisfied that she’d taken in the subject of her challenge, Delilah puckishly sealed her lips shut and clacked her teeth together, double-locking the way out, and abandoning the major in the pitch-black swamp.

A ghostly echo of laughter rumbled from all around. The major, counting the seconds until the inebriated officer got ahold of herself and ended this gut-wrenching prank, reached out and accidentally touched a rubbery taste bud while looking for something to hang onto. Right when he made contact, Delilah went to work, gathering the little man and her liquor in puffed cheeks. Then, using her tongue to stir through the stinging sugary mess, the giantess began oscillating the soaking contents of her mouth from cheek to cheek, swishing and churning it all into a frothy stew. For his part, the major was tossed like a cork, devoid of all agency in his motion, and only able to remain conscious by gasping up melon-flavored tainted oxygen at the top of each wave before he was rebounded off another gooey surface.

Delilah kicked both feet up on the edge of the bar to relax, savoring her limitless power like a fine wine. She leaned back in her seat and skillfully funneled only the liquor down her gullet, leaving the major marooned on her tongue, before adding in another sip to start the process all over. While still more-or-less in full control of her facilities, the astronomic girl was blissfully blackout drunk, and was luckier for it, as the usually reserved and sweet-tempered giant savior would have never ever let herself forget what she was doing to her powerless superior right now. It was just as well, really.