What's going on... (Patreon)

Hey guys!

First, sorry for being so quiet the last few weeks...i will explain why in a moment.

BUT - big celebration - I can finally say, I hit 250lbs! This is crazy for me, when i first discovered the gaining world at 14 via Yahoo Groups and then BeefyFrat, BiggerCities and all the other legacy, old skool sites it was like a time of absolute sexual discovery and understanding who i was and what i wanted in my life - confusing and sometimes feelings of guilt, regret and all sorts of other feels that during puberty you don't understand.

But thru all of those strange years of ups and downs...one thing that was there all the time was a desire to gain. And back at 14 - a gainer known as BigBrianCA now known as GainerBull - was 250lbs. And to me back then had the perfect body...but I didn't know what my height or build would end up like - so as times gone on my desire to look a certain way has meant the goal of 250 would need to change but as i was so far from it i never really thought about it - the actual number i may want to change it to to more closely reflect the body i really desire.

Then comes the last 12-18 months - and how I accelerated from 190ish lbs to 250lbs so fast - especially compared to previous gains - and now hitting 250 and now having a goal in lbs to surpass it. I feel a little lost, all my life for the last almost 20 years I have had this figure to go for - now I'm here i don't really know what to do. Hence the silence.

All i know is i want more than this for my body - i just need a figure in my head as a target even if i know its more the look than the number i wanna chase, having the number as a point of reference helps to push me for more...

So i need to do a little soul searching - I will post over the next few days to catch up on missed stuff - and i will either give September or October as a freebie - i  will update on this one near the end of the month - but stick with me and - as you guys have taken care of me and growing my belly since i joined here - i will take care of you and your desire to see my content and my growth ;-) Just let me find what it is the gainer me- the only real me - wants to do now on my ever upward and outward journey ;-).

Ben aka UBG88