Teaser: Pick a Card, Any Card (Object Swallowing, OV) (Patreon)

You riffle through the deck, and pull out a card to try your luck. With how everything else is going, surely you’re bound to have some good luck, right?

But before you can shuffle the cards about, a soft trill comes from behind. You snap around, to see a massive pair of bright orange eyes! They belong to a curious kitty, who tilts his head slightly and rumbles with another curious purr.  Somehow Phirae snuck up on you!

“Prrrh? How did you get in here, little snack? Those cards aren’t good for building houses out of, they keep collapsing at the slightest touch.” Phirae says, poking you too. You tumble just as easily, tripping over the stack of cards. You scramble further back for what little cover it can offer you, but the massive feline doesn’t pounce. He simply stares and waits, until you bump against Phirae’s other hand, cupped behind you.

“Hey now, don’t run! We both know I’ll pounce first anyway. And then you’ll be all at my mercy, for whatever I want to do with you…” He smirks, leaning in close enough that you can feel the heat of his breath billowing over the table.

“...Oooh, there’s an idea. How about I show you a card trick?”

That’s...not what you were expecting. But Phirae’s already got the deck fanned out in front of you.

“C’mon, pick a card.”

You point to a random card, and let the macro do all the work. He almost looks away, then thinks better of it, keeping an eye on you while he shows you the card. You’re still trying to figure out how this is going to turn into a whole ‘thing’, but it’s probably safer to play along, for now.

The card you chose is the Queen of Hearts.

The design is fairly standard, but you notice the edges of the cards are slightly bent and marked. Probably an old deck.

“Okay, so you’re probably wondering what the heck this has to do with anything. Well, I was going to just eat you, but you’re pretty small! Smaller than these cards, even.” The cat muses, cutting the deck and slipping your chosen card somewhere in the middle.

“So, what if I just use a little magic to infuse your flavour with something bigger? It’s not the normal kind of magic you’d expect, sure, but it’s still magic, isn’t it?” Meanwhile, Phi’s busy shuffling the cards again, making a point of doing the usual flourishes. He’s practiced this a lot. He fans them out, towards you this time, to prove that your card’s still there.

“You chose a specific card, so now it’s marked with your destiny. All your desires, and all your hopes and dreams - your fate, even - are captured in your choice. And that tastes delicious. So delicious, in fact, that I can tell which one it is, out of all 52…”

Phirae opens his maw wide, tongue lolling out. Slowly, like he’s licking up a trail of melted ice cream from a cone, he drags his tongue across the back of the deck. Drool slathers against the thin plastic, a few drops dripping down onto the table below. His gaze focuses on you. You know he’s ready to pounce at a moment’s notice if you tried to run now.

The cat pauses, a little way through. He purrs deeply, showing off with a flick of his tongue.

“Hmmm, maybe...I’ll have to compare it to the real thing afterwards...”

Another lick, starting from the other side. He stops again, near your card. Then he collapses the whole deck together, and promptly shoves the whole thing in his mouth. His jaws snap shut with his paws over his muzzle, and a moment later the firm, unmistakable bulge sinks down his throat.

It catches on his collar for a moment, taking three more swallows before it slinks past and disappears. His stomach growls softly, and you swear you could almost hear the splash as they land in his stomach.

“...Ta da!” The cat beams. All pretense of his voracious teasing disappears when he does a little flourish, then nestles down on his crossed arms to peer at you. “So, what’d you think? Bet you wish you were a card, transformed with your soul bound to the one stewing in my belly.”

You nod, staring up at the teasing cat.

“You’d rather end up in my gut than fix your little size problem? You ARE enjoying being a little snack, aren’t you? But I did say I’ll see how you taste, and I intend to make good on that.” The cat leans in close, making the table creak under the shifting weight. He licks his lips, and looks like he’s about to snatch you up, but he restrains himself for now. Instead, he lays his chin on the edge of the table, opens wide, and waits. His tongue lolls out, drooling onto the tabletop like a stepping stone into his mouth.

He waits patiently, but as you approach his breath steams up in front of your face. “Let’s see how you compare, little treat. If you climb in my mouth, then you’ll have made the choice, after all. You should be delicious.”

You brace against his upper fangs, duck beneath his teeth, and end up slipping on his tongue. The spongy muscle catches you like falling into a warm, slimy bed. It curls up, stopping you from slipping as it retracts, drawing you into the cat’s mouth.

With a gentle squish, Phi pins you up against the roof of his maw. There, you can feel your whole body vibrate when he purrs. The rumbles echo between his jaws, rolling out with bliss.

“Prrrrrrhhhh, I was right, you taste so good…” He pockets you against his cheek so he can talk, pushing you into the soft flesh and sliding you around his sharp teeth. The firm tongue isn’t as dextrous, but it doesn’t need to be, when Phi’s just trying to squish you into the soft, stretchy flesh of his cheek.

Over and over, the grinding continues, until he lets slip back into the centre of his tongue. He savours your flavour for a little while longer, drooling pools into every bit of available space, which lets you slip right to the back of his tongue when he tilts his head back.

There’s almost no resistance as his throat welcomes you in, swallowing you down amidst all his saliva. It keeps you lubed up, far too slippery to slow your descent. The walls flex, relaxing and squeezing in practiced motions. The sounds of his swallows mute the outside world, sinking past the feline’s heartbeat in barely a moment, greeted a second later by the active, bubbly gurgles of his stomach waiting below.

You’re much easier to swallow than a pack of cards.