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Anime-Tamae! Halloween Special! (Proofreading is needed!) (Patreon)

Published:
2015-10-31 15:35:32
Imported:
2020-09

Content

Happy Halloween!

Today I've drawn a new special page of "Anime-Tamae!"

http://animetamae.com/en/images/Halloween2015.jpg


For I have no time to coop with the translator, English is written by myself. So your proofreading is very welcome! XD


Neko-Kabocha (Cat-Pumpkin) is legends about a poisoned pumpkin, which grows from buried body of a killed cat. In accurate sense, it is a scary incident rather than youkai... but recently books of Youkai published in Japan includes Neko-Kabocha in it.

Thus I draw it as a Youkai Girl!

For her killer was dead long ago, I hope she is free from her grudge... and becomes a icon of Halloween in Japan!

Files

Comments

foducool

haven't seen any spelling mistakes in it, good job rebis :)

Vendettadabeast

Great job on the English text no mistakes that I seen spelling or grammar wise.

Dr. Beaubourg

Where it says "Tensei Maiden's Ultimate Move: Invoke the goddess with her voice", the wording can be made more specific. Perhaps something like "Tensei Maiden's Ultimate Move: She invokes the goddess with her voice". Also, for the panel where the Goddess speaks about eating the pumpkin, it could be reworded to make a bit more sense in with "Gods are immune to poison..." "...so I'll eat and purify you!". Other than that, it's pretty good! I just pledged to you last night, and I'm pretty glad I did. Happy Halloween Rebis!

Smyling Beast

Your version of Neko-Kabocha is adorable (and bootylicious), as expected. She has quite a sad backstory from what you described, glad to see that your version is leading a more cheerful existence. Nice job, and I hope you have a great Hallowe'en Rebis.

Rebis
>>939586

Thank you! I fixed it. I hope it is more natural now!

3d0xp0xy

Since you asked… :3 I think ‘from ancient grudge’ would sound better with the definite article (‘from the ancient grudge’). You misspelt ‘grudge’ as ‘gurdge’ in the third panel. With ‘I'm getting purified and become a sweet pumpkin…!’ I suggest changing ‘become’ to ‘becoming’ to make the verbs have the same tense. Finally, I think ‘Shit!’ doesn't really fit the mood of Anime-Tamae!; perhaps something like ‘Damn it!’ would be more appropriate.

Rebis
>>940822

Thank you for detailed opinion! I'll fix it for more smooth text!

Rebis
>>939721

I could not to resist drawing a round booty! ^^

Rebis
>>939397

Thank you~! I'm glad that there are not so big mistakes!

Rebis
>>939330

Thank you! I can study many from you oversea fans!

Rebis
>>939672

I'm glad that you like Neko-Kabocha in Anime-Tamae! My Halloween was great, for I can entertain my readers with a new Halloween comic page!

Superjustinbros

Hehe! Round booties are always fun. :3

Biwa-Boku-Boku

You write great comics, can speak and write in 2 languages, and are an incredible artist, Rebis-sensei you amaze me.

Rebis
>>944121

Wow, thank you for your praise! I hope to be better for each of those skills!

Saehrimnir

I’m the Japanese Youkai most suitable for Halloween, Neko-kabacha! *Cat-pumpkin Wait! You were born from the ancient grudge of a killed cat! That Pumpkin must be poisoned! Shit! Please forget your old grudge~! Kami-Oroshi!! *Tensei Maiden’s ultimate move: She invokes the goddess with her voice! Gods are immune to poison… So I’ll eat and purify you! Nooo! I got purified and became a sweet pumpkin…! (this is the main bit I altered, I thought context wise this would sound best placed in past context as if she's saying it after she was purified. If that was incorrect I'd change it to "I'm being purified and becoming a sweet pumpkin!") Become a good Youkai and… HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Rebis
>>956856

Thank you for your comment! "become" or "becoming" problem is too difficult for me Japanese... I think she says her serif during purification, not after her transformation finished.