3 Year Anniversary + My Background (Patreon)

I just realised, yesterday 16th March 2020 marks 3 years since I started my patreon! I'm old! You know I never thought I'd be doing anything like this in my life.

Back before then I was just like most, I liked adult games and movies and one day there was a game that made me create a patreon account: SIMBRO. I remember how NERVOUS I was when i put my details in for that pledge. That was the first obstacle to overcome. Now of course that seems silly.

I remember my first month i got $16, it was never about that. I remember my first ever supporter, someone called 'Mira'. After a few months they unpledged and i never saw them again. Then there is Kalishnikow, who liked my first post and has liked EVERY public post since. And in the 3 YEARS I have been trying to get him to comment has not said anything at all, that's one long silence.

I've had my fair share of critics, downright envious wankers, constructive people that helped me improve, arrogant 'my money buys you' type people, curious people, enthusiastic people, cheerleaders (ZaTsu, Dragonfire, Ari_lolwut, Mal etc), strange people (the guy who shall remain nameless who asked for milking machine porn). And I'd like to thank each and everyone. regardless of the part you played and continue to play you've helped me share this journey and to continue on this path.

I'm gonna share some things you may not know. And the following is from the heart and if you're sensitive then TRIGGER WARNING, stop reading NOW! Prior to October 2016, I was a heavy drinker (8 pints, next day rest, next day 8 pints repeat), i smoked 20 Richmond Menthols a day! i ate junk food to the point that at my max I was 19 Stone 2lbs. I lost my best friend, guy just stopped talking to me, my mom died at 14,  my girl was gonna leave me and i fell into such a depression that I wanted to choke on a bottle of pills and not wake up. I was just a fat, lazy guy that drank, smoked, borrowed money, skipped most of year 10 and 11, drank and partied my way through uni and only did that because it was expected of me. I grew up divorced parents, dad is a violent guy who kicked the hell out of me because he thought I wasn't his, mom was a feminist, wiccan who slept around and manipulated, constantly shitting on me for being a boy but telling me i was an elite and better than anyone else because of wealth and birth, i remember once I saw a £180 bike and she just took it out her purse bought it and 2 months later it was gathering dust, moms house was 3 bed semi detached, 3 classic cars (ford capri's) stable with a mare called Blossom, two greenhouses, a treehouse. Dad was a council house with CCTV in the street, everyday some punk kids would chase me and try to kick the hell out of me (until I grew bigger than them), Food was whatever i was given, if i didn't eat it i went hungry, my room had a window, desk, bed and a bookcase thats it. So my life was a living opposite. You can see this in my videos and the characters if you look hard enough.

Then one day in 2016 I found a book: RICH DAD, POOR DAD, by Robert Kiyosaki. Major brainwave, I'm gonna try this, first month getting that $16, getting people saying "go for it", "do it homie" on a poor, shitty 480p resolution video, I found something, gradually I kept producing, kept going, pouring my thoughts and all my conflicts into my videos and other creative stuff. gradually I came out my shell, kept going...

Now, I happy to say that as of October 2016, I have not drank, not smoked, I'm down to 15 stone 4lbs, I've built this up to the point I now have a sole trader business called 'Icarus Media' which this is a part of (and I intend it to become a corporation), my girl has been with me 16 years now. Icarus Media owns Icarus Videos, it owns my 5 books and any others I hire people to write in the future. I have 3 letters after my name and as of yesterday I started a youtube channel dedicated to my beatboxing.  That's in addition to being employed. I have my Tai Chi Quan, Krav Maga classes, i found religion (relax, I'm not gonna preach). It wasn't so much the money, it was a fire, it was seeing the same guys and girls that used to shit on me become wide eyed when they realise what I've become. Every time someone gave me criticism I used to take it to heart, now, I flip a finger to them while still loving my fans and followers, we built this, built this together. I wanted to grow bigger than people who used to look down on me and at the same time have something that i could give to my kids so they can know me and my thoughts after i'm gone. A part of myself.

The irony? i was on youtube on the evening of the 15th and i found a song that spoke to me so much, check this:  

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz2tzeY31MQ&list=PLBBYHfkh_tzZpRxqt6SBMI5JZWd88qcIp&index=1

So I thank each and everyone of you that support me, or follow me, in the beginning it was therapeutic, now I'm strong enough I can help others and can put this without giving a F**k. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. If you're a hater, thank you as well, after all you created and encouraged me too :-)

I want that for you too, all of you. Whatever it is, whatever your dream is GO FOR IT, no excuses, go as far as you can and don't take 'no' for an answer. if I can do it...SO CAN YOU!