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Seanbaby and Brockway teamed up many times throughout 2023, whenever a cursed object radiated too much power to be mocked alone. Here are but a few of the articles where one of us put on an elaborate puppet show while the other crept up behind our subject with a folding chair.

The Aliens of Mount Kailas

In an episode of the Dogg Zzone, Brockway discovered writer, director, diaper enthusiast ctom and his movie, The President Goes to Heaven, which was about a constantly-shitting George Bush converting to Islam in limbo to escape the ghosts of 9/11. Naturally, we had to read his stageplay-adapted-to-book about horny aliens and the CIA masterminds who killed JFK to cover up the fake moon landing.

Twisted Metal 2 Endings

Twisted Metal 2 writers had to come up with meaningful backstories and satisfying character arcs for 17 vehicles that shot flaming tires at each other. It was an impossible ask, given to the least qualified people for it. We decided to make fun of every single ending for thousands of words. We do not regret what we did. Thank you for reading this paragraph about Twisted Metal.

Billy Ocean’s Star Wars

Billy Ocean loved Star Wars. You know what he didn’t love about it? Its distinct lack of Billy Ocean. He fixed that with the video for "Lover Boy," a song about Billy Ocean being your lover boy, featuring a video about an alien bounty hunter destroying a bar full of weird monsters. Naturally.

Total Self Defense

Behold the deadly martial arts of Grandmaster John McSweeney - the first irish karate master! Behold the many gentle exercises that keep Grandmaster John McSweeney the first Irish karate master in killing shape! Behold Grandmaster John McSweeney the first Irish karate master’s swollen torso and tiny panties! Start the music, no – the sexy music. It’s, you hit the second button. There! Now behold Grandmaster John McSweeney the first Irish karate master’s forbidden mating dance!

The Godfrey Ho Ninja Award Matching Game

Seanbaby devised a simple game, wherein he would invent several fictitious trophies inspired by the wildly inaccurate covers of Godfrey Ho bootleg VHS tapes, and then Brockway would have to match the awards to the tape based on absolutely nothing. Easy! For babies! How does one win this game? By reading the article! How did Brockway win this game? He didn’t!

Comments

Kevin Hanlon

The Aliens of Mount Kailas is such a noteworthy article, which is saying a lot, considering the consistently high quality of site entries.

Matt Edwards

I'm a little disappointed that Napoleon Blownapart has been on the podcast twice, and neither time has it been asked if he trained under Grandmaster John McSweeney the first Irish karate master.