Hot Dog Appreciation Day: The Dick Fight Bracket (Patreon)

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard we spend two hours every Sunday just reading sonnets we wrote about each other. Brockway penned one called How Pink Are Thine Spikes? And it opens with “O! To be the paste on thy-” you know what? This isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where North Dakota’s poet laureate reflects on all the various aspects of dadhood, from bootleg Pokemon to karate kicking raccoons out of Christmas trees. Yes, all both aspects of dadhood.

Now on to the Comments, where LyraV is starting a Brockway Anime support group:

Stephanie Reinheimer just found the only possible audiobook narrator for Mario Corelli’s works:

While FancyShark is starting their own dojo with a focus on facenuts:

This was a big month for 1900HOTDOG - no, we’re not talking about us breaking $10,000 and opening the official PoxCo store, no it’s not even about the Popsicle Pete merch. This is bigger. This is Dick Fight Island big.

That’s right, Dick Fight Island Vol. 1 finally released, and all of Hot Doggery celebrated. The Parallel Viewmaster started a religion:

sissyneck got spirit cancer:

While over in the Discord, ape-wrangler gellaho noticed something insane: Nobody in the history of the internet had ever registered the domain ‘dickfightisland.com.’

It could be used for so many things! Of course he immediately acted to correct that error.

With a well-placed coupon from Satan, it came out to the perfect price!

And just in time for Brockway to start the Dick Fight Island bracket-

Alpha Scientist Javo immediately set about the pre-fight breakdown with the exact appropriate amount of effort and attention that a bracket based on warring dicks demands.

JCantrell really set Hart in his proper historical context: As a destroyer of both asses… and worlds.

Hey, speaking of dicks and general groinal issues:

Dick Fight Venue, who probably had that name well before the comic, is dealing with his husband’s testicular cancer diagnosis and he has all the caring and sensitive help of the 1900HOTDOG community.

Let’s see what’s new in apes with gellaho, our official Ape Herald:

Oh shit, he found a physical copy of the original Killer Kong game - Fuck Ape in the flesh!

This high res, pure, uncut ape source clearly unlocked a bevy of frightening and beautiful apes.

Inspiring our unofficial Hot Dog Sister Store, NanasaurusStudios, to do some Apery of her own:

After six straight hours of talk about fuckable Chinese pool toys, Brockway finally caved and built a Sex Swamp to exile the horniest Hot Doggers. It was immediately controversial.

Anti-Life Justifies My Hatred found historical precedent for Komar -- the standout lunatic psychic from Lydia’s article on standout lunatic psychics.

While Haraka, Apostle of Ham fucked up. So bad. This was probably meant to be a fun joke, putting Fuck Ape into Peter Lemongello’s eyes - but it spawned an eternity of fuckmares from which there is but one escape, too terrible to speak of.

Anti-Life Justifies My Hatred is back, making D&D minis of the 1900HOTDOG crew:

So we can finally get that homebrew Eberron game up and running now, right? We decided Saturdays at 8 were good for everyone and no, Doug - we said Saturdays. At 8. It took us four months to decide on that time you tell your fucking son that ballet lives in the heart, not the classroom, DOUG!

You know what? We’re done talking about Doug. That’s what he wants. Let’s calm ourselves down with some affirmations.

You think there’s one for giving Doug face chlamydia?

Doug has face Chlamydia. We love that Doug has face chlamydia. We are so grateful that vicious koala at the sanctuary bit off a piece of Doug’s nose and gave him antibiotic resistant face chlamydia.

JCantrell is right, of course. There’s no justice for Dougs in this rotten world of ours.

The only thing that will make us feel better is a good ol’ fashioned Hot Dog Drag.

There are a lot of winners here that did some great work in beef this month… unfortunately you all got outclassed. By several orders of magnitude. You were willing to give struggling birth to ape harems, you were willing to craft virtual voodoo dolls of your favorite franks, you stared into the Lemongello void and you clashed dicks with the best of them, but you did not mutilate your bodies in our name.

Because that’s the level Generally Pubic Mound stepped up to this month.

That’s obviously it - Generally Pubic Mound, congratulations! You are the winner. You will take possession of the Prince photo… if it doesn’t take possession of you, first.

We don’t know if Valriuk added those arms and then was torn to pieces by them, or if somebody else added the arms and Valriuk tried to stop them only to be torn to pieces, or if the Prince photo grew them itself and then used them to tear Valriuk to pieces, we’re really only sure of one thing: Valriuk has been torn to pieces.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll don our elaborate battle codpieces and challenge them to a Gentleman’s Dickfight.