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Hello everyone once more. This post will be a bit of an overshare but I think it needs to be done.

So yes I will have to delay the rewards for October and just merge them with the November rewards. Why? I ended up only drawing 3 pictures total the whole month.

I feel like I have to come clean with this, I have mentioned this before but never really officially? So I think at least patrons deserve to know. In the recent year, my day to day life basis it is really hard for me to find enjoyment in anything, and this year in particular I've suffered from several anxiety problems which have lead to deep depression. I have always brushed it off and wanting to focus on art and other things that make me happy but unfortunately time comes back to hit you and haunt you.


For as much as my professional life is settled and is something I enjoy doing, my personal life isn't. It is something that started from the neglect from everyone who surrounded me when I was young, and eventually even I started to neglect as well due to trauma. To put it into other words, I genuinely have lived my life thinking I don't deserve happiness or that I'll ever have that. Art and seeing how people enjoyed my doodles have been the only thing I really enjoyed for a while.


This is what I have brushed off for a long time and now it's crawling back to hit me hard at the age I'm at. So as I'm currently writing this, I'm also looking for possible therapy in hopes it will help... somehow (I don't trust psychologists, last time I went to one I was treated poorly.)

As for art, I'm not really pausing or stopping, but I need to pick up myself first before I can do anything enjoyable. At some point this month I'll get back to normal work. Hope you understand. 

Comments

KamehaPlaya

Sorry you're going through this, I hope it gets better. If I pledged in October with hopes of getting that content, is that now pushed until December?

psyk323

Thanks for the kind words. No you will still get the rewards for November, basically everyone who pledged for October will get Novembers content.

Coco

Hello psyk, as someone who has struggled with depression myself, I must stress one important thing, therapy can help, just make sure you find a therapist that is good for you! sometimes it takes going through multiple therapists before you find the right one.

psyk323

Thank you for the tip. I've heard of that as well and experienced in first hand back in 2018 when a psychologist asked me how could he help on the second and third meeting. I think he just didn't care, or at least that was the feeling I got.