Alice’s Appetite - A Mad Tea Party - 7/12 (Patreon)

Collab with DrBlackJack.

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India

“I’m just saying, why is it that they charge me extra when I carry one extra pound of ingredients in my bag over the weight limit, when I can carry at least five extra on my belly for free?”

No matter how she looked at it, Alice could not work out the logic behind airports.

“It wasn’t for free,” Ryõ sighed. “We had to buy you an extra seat so you could actually fit in there in the first place and had to take multiple detours to offset the cost…”

“Well whatever, we’re going to make it back in no time with my next brilliant idea!”

Amidst the dusty, traffic laden streets, Ryõ peddled along the rusty tuk-tuk they had converted into a mobile kitchen. Alice helped too, in the role of supervisor of course as she had graciously spared him the added effort of heaving her tremendous weight along with everything else. They were approaching the communal eatery where hundreds and thousands gathered in throngs for their daily meals which made it the perfect place to set up shop.

“You’re going to win these guys over with Vindaloo?” Ryõ asked, dryly. “I know you’ve been trying to best every country we’ve visited so far at their national dish, but this is one which I’m sure even you can’t handle.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Alice smirked back. “My waistline and our customers would beg to differ.”

She jiggled her belly for emphasis, lifting and dropping it like a sack of flour. Its doughy consistency billowed over the tabletop of her mobile kitchen, causing the already overburdened vehicle to groan as Ryõ felt the rusty chains grind against the pedals and put additional strain on his legs.

“Alright, here will be just fine. Let’s set up shop.”

Such heavy labor was hardly his forte. In contrast, the return to regular kitchen duties felt like a heavenly dream. Even amidst the hellfire of searing pots and pans he could not help but smile as his sadistic side took the deepest pleasure from watching a goddess writhe in torment.

“IT’S SO SPICY!”

Sweat poured off of Alice’s furrowed brow as the rage of a thousand collapsing stars exploded in her mouth. In spite of the intense heat, she could not stop herself from shoveling mouthful after mouthful of the monstrous dish past her swollen lips like coal stoking a raging inferno.

“BUT IT’S SO GOOD!”

A professional chef never refused to taste her creations, but Alice had never been good with spicy food to begin with. Ryõ was well aware of this, but admired her dedication to her craft as she juggled sampling her dish catered to the locals against the gallon of cream and yoghurt she had slathered on the side.

“Ryõ! I’m out of yogurt! Get me another pint before I have to taste test the next batch!”

He eyed the mounting pile of empty tubs which were gathered at her feet. Some of them pooled with the rivulets of perspiration which eventually cascaded down the graceful slope of her pale white belly. Red in the face, she slid out of her clothes as much as decency would allow as she continued to taste test through the pain.

“You could just…have a spoonful instead of eating the entire plate…”

“No good chef has ever been afraid of suffering for their craft,” Alice puffed, as she gulped back another tub. “I’ll put my body on the line for what I believe in, down to the last drop!”