Alice’s Appetite - Pig and Pepper - 6/12 (Patreon)

Collab with DrBlackJack.

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America.  

Home of the free and land of the brave. 

 It was also a land of the morbidly obese.  

Alice’s rapid escalation in size and Ryõ’s foresight had seen this escalation in size coming as he insisted that they drop by in order to buy her the ‘necessary equipment’ as she continued her culinary world tour.   

Here mobility scooters and sizes well beyond the Japanese market were available for cheap and in such a variety that there would be at least some buffer before a kind of boredom only known to prodigies set in. Their funds were quickly draining as the essential shopping trips they took to replace her ever tightening slacks occurred at an almost weekly rate.   

It was only when Alice’s food budget started to get affected that she decided to take action.  

“This is the land of opportunity! We just have to make more money!”  

“And how do you propose we do that?”  

Summertime had brought with it a heatwave like no other, but that was nothing compared to the flames of invention which crackled away within the depths of Alice’s mind. If it was literally hot enough to melt anything just by putting it on the side of the road, she would leverage that melting pot of ideas as she brought her summer plan to fruition.   

“Nothing like a spicy chili hotdog on a blistering day, huh Ryõ?”  

She nudged her flabby arm into his side as he unenthusiastically flipped a squealing hotdog on a grill. This was easy enough to do, but the thought of cooking something so unoriginal didn’t seem to spark his inner chef one bit.  

“Now just wait until you see what comes next…”  

Rather than any ordinary bun, Alice skewered the sizzling dog and slid it onto a corn tortilla. Ryõ found himself raising an eyebrow in spite of his better judgement as she then began to lather it in sauces and cheese. His eyebrow rose even higher as she began to then roll the entire thing in a bucket of batter until her creation was dripping before hoisting it into a deep fryer where it sizzled and crackled away.  

She repeated this process a few times, her mad grin widening as much as the cornshell as each successive battering with cheese infused goodness only swelled it to absurd proportions. It was only when it was almost too big for her to eat with both hands that she finally laid it to rest atop a pepperoni pizza which she lovingly swaddled around it like a newborn child.  

“Behold! The Americana! The ultimate fusion food!” 

Ryõ was stunned. It had to weigh over five pounds and nearly several thousand calories and yet he felt himself drawn to this absurd creation. Cheesy, tangy, spicy and sure to send anyone to the hospital if eaten in one sitting, really did seem to embody his idea of american cuisine.   

And yet, there was still a problem.  

“You do realize it costs nearly 50 dollars in ingredients to make that, right?”  

“Sure do. Only the finest for my baby.”  

“How are we ever going to sell it to make a profit?”  

“Sell it?” Alice smiled sweetly. “Oh my dear Ryõ, this supersized one is just for me.”

She gestured to the ingredient station she had left behind her and the miniature versions she had already pre-prepared. The scent from her gigantic creation had already wafted down the beach front where tourists had started gathering, fists full of dollars already in their hands.  

“The Americana mini only costs 10 dollars to make and will be sold for 15. Don’t forget, this is a tipping country!”  

“You’ll be helping me, right?”  

Ryõ’s desperate eyes searched hers, imploring her for an answer before she took that first, greasy bite. Alice put a plump finger to her double chin as she thought for a fraction of a second out of courtesy.   

“Maybe after lunch…and depending on how I feel…maybe a nap…