Gif: THE BIMBO GURU (Patreon)

INT. A TEMPLE IN SAN DIEGO. DAY

Mysterious, vaguely Eastern music plays and the air is hazy from burning incense. A bearded mystic sits cross-legged on the floor while a line of people wait to see him. One bald, haggard-looking man approaches the mystic and bows.

MAN: Great sage, I've journeyed many miles to seek your help. I'm told that you have the power to look within a man's soul and find his true --

Before he can finish the mystic reaches up, grips the man's bald head with both hands and gives it a good shake. Suddenly long, blond hair explodes from the man's scalp and when he stumbles back he has been transformed into a beautiful and rather curvy girl. He looks around in utter confusion.

MAN: What the..?

MYSTIC: There. You're a bimbo. Blonde, big boobs, the works.

MAN: But... I didn't...

MYSTIC: Yeah, you did. Everybody wants to be a bimbo. Everybody.

MAN: But... I have a wife! And kids!

MYSTIC: Well, I guess your wife has a wife too, now. And your kids have two mommies. Now, go on, beat it. There's a little shop next door where you can buy yourself some trashy lingerie.

MAN: But, I never... Did you say lingerie?

MYSTIC: Yeah, knock yourself out, sweet cheeks. Next!