Gif: HE WISHED FOR A BILLION BUCKS, NOT A BABY BUMP! (Patreon)

Earl is a bald, tough, tattooed redneck who recently purchased a strange old bottle at a swap meet. He's in his apartment, wiping the dust off the bottle, when there is a puff of sparkly pink smoke and a beautiful girl appears. She flops onto the couch beside Earl and gives him a big smile.

Genie: Hello, Master! I am the genie of the bottle!

Earl gawks at her, then back at the bottle, then back at her.

Earl: No shit? I never would'a believed it, if I hadn't just seen ya come out of that bottle with my own two eyes.

Genie: It's true, Master. You now have three wishes!

Earl: Well, I don't need no time to think about the first one. I want a billion bucks!

There is another puff of pink sparkly smoke, and when it clears Earl has been transformed into a pregnant blonde wearing a clingy blue dress that shows off his swollen belly. He struggles to his feet, looking down at himself in horror.

Earl: What the hell?! You screwed up, Genie!

Genie: What's wrong, Master? You wished for a baby bump, and that's what I gave you. You're going to give birth to a beautiful little girl!

Earl: I wished for a billion bucks, not a baby bump!

The genie looks confused.

Genie: What did you say, Master? It was very echoey in my bottle, and my ears are ringing...

Earl: Just change me back right now! I want to do my wish again!

Genie: Did you say you want to have twins? OK...

POOF. Now Earl's belly is bigger and his breasts are threatening to spill out over the neckline of his dress.

Genie: There's your second wish, Master. Now you're going to give birth to two beautiful little girls!

Earl: That's not what I wanted, you idiot!

Genie: Did you say you want to have triplets? Wow, I guess you must have strong maternal instincts!

Earl: What? No, that's not what I...

Genie: OK, three bouncing baby girls for you!

POOF. Now Earl's belly and boobs are even larger, stretching his dress to the absolute limit.

Genie: There you go, Master. You're a plump, pretty mommy!

Earl: You know what? Fuck you.

Genie: You're welcome! That was your final wish, so I'll be going now. Good luck raising your three little girls!

She vanishes in one last puff of sparkly pink smoke, taking the bottle with her. Earl looks down at his belly and sighs.

Earl: Why do I get the feeling that little bitch could hear me just fine?