Gif: GENETIC PERFECTION (Patreon)

OK, the experiment has begun and I'm recording this moment for posterity. After a lifetime of being short and homely and suffering from a variety of vexing, chronic health conditions, I believe I have discovered the means to achieve genetic perfection. In seconds I will have purged my body of all undesirable traits!

*POOF*

Oh, dear. Perhaps the experiment was a little too successful...