Chapter 40: Remorse (Patreon)

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I shove Deluge from our conscious as I say, “Can it wait till after music class, or did you send him on a rampage?”

He says, “Aether can kill us in an instant if he chose to do so. He has no desire for combat. He just wants to see the sun above the clouds again. It’s...sad.”

I raise an eyebrow as I say, “He was that large as a tree?”

Deluge murmurs with awe followed by remorse, “Large enough to brave the tug of earth’s rotation and tall enough to feel the cold of space. Either way, he slammed his fist into the ground nearly killing Sophia. He sounds as though he’s struggling with accepting his new body. Your experiences are similar, so your words may help him.”

I squint my eyes as I trot towards my dorm saying, “That’s awfully considerate of you. Are you sure he didn’t threaten your life?”

He replies, “We’ve spoken of my bluntness. I need to use the hammer less.”

I smile as I say, “Don’t reprimand yourself too viciously. Your words are like medicine Deluge. They may taste bitter, but if you can swallow them, they often help the listener improve.”

“I see that logic never applied to you.”

I grin as I say, “It’s hard to improve upon perfection Deluge.”

He whips back his response, “Almost as difficult as it is to improve upon nothing.”

Ooooh. I say, “That one stung Deluge. You’re on point today.”

Deluge says, “I can’t comprehend your advice however. You told me before to watch my words, now you tell me to spill them without restraint.”

I shrug as I say, “I had an uncle named Hubrick. He would come every so often bringing exotic fruits like oranges or bananas for our family. He told me that life’s like walking on a tightrope. If you swing to far either way, you’re going to fall to the earth. Only those who maintain balance can float in the sky.”

Deluge snaps, “Walking on a tightrope won’t allow you to float. Your uncle’s an idiot.”

I move my hands up and down weighing my words as I say, “There were certainly brighter prospects for precision, but I think he was correct in that analogy.”

I open the door with Luke gesturing with his hand as he reads a different swordsmanship book, so I say, “Are you trying to learn battle with blades? I could put in a good word with Petra if you want a tutor.”

He stares from his book saying, “Ahh...I would rather wait till I feel at least competent before I try training with a master. Once I get the basics down, I’ll take you up on your offer.”

I grin as I say, “Excellent. I’m glad to see your passions rekindled.”

Luke grins back as he says, “After my talk with you, I just felt really inspired. It was like I had a...well an epiphany of sorts.”

I raise an eyebrow as I say, “I see the reading’s done wonders for your vocabulary as well.”

Luke taps the edge of his bed as he says, “Yenno, if you need something, I’ve got connections with my family..You’ve really been there for me, and I want to help somehow. It feels weird accepting so many favors without returning anything.”

Listening to his reply, I change shirts. The tightness around my shoulders and back bothers me, so I say, “What about a few sets of larger clothes? My current ones are starting to strangle me.”

Luke nods saying, “Sure thing. Anything else?”

I place my hand on my chin as I say, “Hmmm. The only other possession I’d like is a violin, but that’s expensi-”

“Done. I heard about how Joan smashed your harp on accident.” Luke lifts his casted arm. “I know what it’s like to want to do something yet be stopped because of bullshit.”

I say voicing my surprise and pleasure, “Thanks. I’ll return the favor one day.”

Luke smirks as he says, “I believe it, though you can’t right now.”

I frown as I say, “Why not?”

“You’re late for class.”

The realization slams into me before I dash out of the room taking care not to break the door as the managers of this campus put very little emphasis on fixing them. As I jolt through the hallway, my body picks up speed until I slide between the doorway and another student shooting into the open green walkways of campus.

My speed rises until I fear the force behind each of my stomps. The increased weight of my physique allows me to run faster as my feet would fling me from the earth preventing me from generating power through my legs. With each pound I gain however, this problem lessens until I speed like a cannonball across campus.

The sensation of celerity invigorates a primal part of my mind as I dash between bushes and alleyways. As I near the music room, I pass near a wall when a broad, stocky guy walks in front of me.

Regardless of his appearance, my body will crush his like a boulder squishing a squirrel, so I run up the side of the wall by jerking my momentum upwards. The euphoria of pulling an awe inspiring stunt fills me, but my feet run out of wall to push from.

I fly through the air sideways for twenty feet before I crash into a stony walkway. My body rolls jerking my vision, yet I maintain a clear focus of my surroundings. Shifts in speed of this level no longer disorient me.

That doesn’t change the fact that my weight combined with my speed tore my clothes, but I neglect the issue as I prioritize my music class. As my barrelling slows, I slam my arm into the earth beside me stopping my rolling with a dull toom.

I lift myself pushing with my arms with enough force that my body lifts into a standing position before I crouch. I pulverize the rock beneath me as I dart into the music building leaning toward my turns as I funnel past the other students.

As I reach the room, I screech to halt using both my feet and my hands for stopping my charge. I open the doorways spotting a curious sight. Antoinnette plays in front of the class, but the edges of her play smoothed. She also focuses on her performance with a razor sharp clarity that brings a wide grin to my face.

That is resolve. That is passion.

As she finishes her play, I clap with a cadence between happy and encouraging as she bows without elegance but with a charming pride in its place. She emits the peculiar joy of someone who yielded fruits from their labor, and Brixworth says to her,

“I see you’ve been practicing Antoinnette. That was much better than the other day. Excellent. You’ll become a fine musician at this pace!”

I walk through the crowd gazing down at the tops of the heads of everyone around me. Many move out of my way as I approach, but I expect their evasion. My reputation is spiralling with the force of a spinning planet, and nothing I say will change what these students heard.

I gave up on maintaining normalcy long ago when I carried that slime’s arm across campus. Dirt covering my frame from the fall of earlier doesn’t help the situation either. Regardless, I pace up to Antoinnette saying,

“My eyes aren’t blind as well. I saw passion in your performance Antoinnette. That was superb.”

She lifts her nose as she suppresses a grin, albeit poorly, as she says, “Of course. I can change even if you don’t think so.”

I smile as I say, “I’m happy I was wrong.”

Her grin widens before she glances towards me saying, “You look like you were dragged by a cart for days. What happened?”

I shrug saying, “I was sprinting before I tripped.”

She squints as she says, “You seem taller too. I didn’t notice it before.”

She hops from the podium as she walks up poking my exposed arm saying, “You got all muscly too.”

I stare at my arm before I flinch. The extra muscles grew while another muscle started growing on my hand. As I suppress the sudden discomfort, I say, “Petra’s training and the hearty food here really allowed a growth spurt.”

She lifts her hand reaching the top of my head as she says, “You’re...I don’t know 6’3-4 now. Your like 6 inches taller now. That’s crazy. You’re kinda...gray too.”

I flex my arm as I say, “You must have misremembered my previous size is all.”

Brixworth says staring at my arm, “What are they feeding kids these days...Either way, we need to continue with class. Please have a seat.”

I turn my head towards my arm, and the level of muscular development forces a visible cringe spawning from my gut. Striations line each muscle while my skin thickened for some reason. After standing at the side of the lecture, I think to Deluge,

“Why the hell did you make me so ripped?”

“Whenever you're flying through the air, Your skin shifts up and down, so I tightened the the organ while attaching it to key spots between the joints. This will prevent it from being ripped as easily while allowing greater strength.

He continues delivering an energized response,

“We will be able to use the attachments for building force in your strikes like using a spring. This even allows for easier attachments to walls and other objects because your skin won’t shift as you grab an object eliminating the mechanical disadvantage of skin slipping or rolling.”

I say as I observe my grayish hand, “You really enjoy modifying this body don’t you?”

Deluge says, “It’s interesting operating with our divergent goals in mind. Instead of trying to create the best flesh consumer, I am creating the strongest humanoid creature possible. The challenge excites me.”

I blink as I say, “Flesh consumer?”

“Devourer, eater, whatever. A form for consumption. More importantly, I have been meaning to tell you something.”

I say, “Sure thing. I’m listening.”

“I found the organization that Helfeston was a part of. His family operates as a part of an organization that uses human souls for gemchaning and soul forging.”

I close my eyes as I say, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

My pulse quickens as Deluge says, “That doesn’t matter. They attempted murdering Sophia once more. I believe they tampered with her experiment preventing the gem from forming the golem correctly. I’ve been meaning to ask, can I eliminate them?”

My fists clench as I grit my teeth. I think with a black hatred leaking from me, “I have lost too many friends and family due to inaction. We’re ending all of them now.”

After breathing a deep lungful of air, I say interrupting Brixworth’s lecture, “Excuse me professor, may I leave class early?”

He raises an eyebrow saying, “What for?”

I point at the holes in my uniform as I say, “I need to change. I came to my senses suddenly.”

He smiles as he says, “Ah yes. Go ahead then, and try not to trip on your way back. Joan might have a heart attack if she sees you shirtless.”

I redden profusely as the class giggles at his teasing, but I whip a reply like a man catching thunder, “She would likely do the same if she saw you shirtless as well, though for different reasons.”

Brixworth blushes as the entire class starts shouting ohhhhhhh.

Brixworth nods as he says, “Alright, that was pretty good. I’ll give you this victory.”

I grin in response before I turn pacing across the campus with my fury inflaming as I dwell on Deluge’s declaration. What kind of twisted organization rips souls from people? Why would they do that? The questions bewilder me as Deluge says,

“Aether will prove a valuable ally in our battle with this enemy. He will not kill a living thing, but he will most likely dispatch of any golems that stand in our way.”

I nod my head before I start jogging towards the forest Aether resides in. Even after several miles of running, I never sweat, so I say, “Why do I no longer perspire?”

Deluge says, “You have no reason for dissipating excess heat as I resolved your intolerance for high temperatures long ago by altering your metabolic processes and the composition of your blood.”

Maybe I should ask fewer questions about my physique as the complexity of his answers astonishes me.

I reach aether as he stands in the center of a cracking crater with his signature shadow emanating from his glowing blue runes. He sits in a spot of light between the shade of the trees, and the contrast of his bodies light and his surroundings darkness always leaves me amazed.

Aether hunches as he sits positioning his arms on his knees while staring at the ground. The leaves and dirt on him signify his lack of movement. Deluge says,

“He believes himself a monster just as you did.”

I nod before I walk up to Aether saying, “It’s good to see you again. Are you enjoying your freedom?”

Aether sits in silence without shifting at my response, so I wait for several minutes. He eventually grates out a reply, “I remember you booming words one day that describe how I feel now.”

I raise an eyebrow as I say, “Which ones?”

He stares at his hands as he says, “I’ve become death...The destroyer of worlds.”

His suffering pinches my nerves with a sickening discomfort. I know his pain. I understand his horror. I feel his burden. His words remind me of my helplessness with luke, but I fathom the words to end his bane.

I say, “My professor tried to prevent me from freeing you for that same reason. He believed you would kill everyone around you. He was wrong, and I believe your feelings are misplaced as well.”

He says, “The thought of killing other life. It repulses me, but I can’t avoid it. I will kill by the mere act of moving.”

A bird lands on his shoulder as I reply, “And you shall help no one by standing still.”

Aether rasps, “I was never meant to be this way. I was never meant to move or influence others.”

I walk in front of him where I say, “I remember many months ago. My parents had just died, and I escaped enslavement by killing another man. I nearly fell to my death, but Deluge saved me from my peril.”

I open my hands as I say, “There were times where I wished to settle. To sit down and watch time flow by. I watched as everything I built crumbled to sand...Yet I moved on and guess what I found?”

I raise both my arms as I say with a building volume, “I found reasons to move forward. I found reasons to live each day like my last. I love this life I live now, and I love the people I share it with.”

I lower my hands clenching my left fist in front of me as I say, “You’ll find that same shining light above the clouds here on earth. You are a force of nature Aether. As powerful as leviathans clashing and as mighty as entire kingdoms.

I open my hands towards my sides as I lean towards him saying, “Instead of feeling the pain you can inflict, think of your potential. Think of the opportunity you’ve been given for helping others. Just as you can destroy, you can create.Just as your strength can break, it can build...You harbor a force of change for this world.”

He still sits in silence, so I push one last time reaching my hand towards him, “I believe in your will to change for the better. I believe in your capacity for kindness. I believe in you. Now you simply need to believe in yourself.”

Several tense seconds pass before he turns towards me saying, “I understand Deluge’s envy over your words now...This...body is a curse only if I allow it to be. This strength is only evil if I move without direction.”

He stands as he finishes radiating his aura with might and mettle, “Your words remind me of a man afflicted with polio. I leaned against the walls of his bedroom watching his struggle.

He fought off the disease and regained the use of his limbs, and as he stood for the first time from his bed with his wobbly knees, he said with light pouring against him through the window -

‘With each step I gait, I decide my goal. I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul.’”

I place a hand on his upper arm as I say, “Then would you help me in my ambitions?”

He clenches both his fists before he clangs them together in front of him with a slow, precise control as he says, “If your cause if worthy, then I will grow towards your light even if the wind pushes me away from your path.”

I crease my eyebrows as I say, “An organization that kills humans for stealing their souls is trying to kill Sophia. They even attempted murdering Deluge and I.”

I clench my fist in front of my chest as I say, “I want you to help me by crushing the golems that protect them.”

Aether grates his answer saying, “So they trap the souls in a body like mine?”

I wince as I say, “They...likely condition the souls. They warp their mind so that they become easier to control.”

Aether rips his reply with the the force of nature at his back, “Then I will end their eternal winter and nights of endless darkness. The face hordes of locust that feast upon their flesh and even the blight that follows. The poor souls stand stand at the cusp of obliteration.”

Deluge nudges me from conscious as he says, “They stand at the cusp of salvation.”