The Role / Value of NSFW Topics in TTRPGS (Patreon)

This is a delicate topic that could fill a few chapters of a book, but here I'm going to address ~70% of the value with ~10% of the language. 

To start, let's define NSFW topics for the purpose of this conversation. We will specifically be addressing sex, sexuality, and nudity (hereafter abbreviated as SSN). Furthermore, let us specify the assumptions from which we will derive our core discussion points:

• Sex and sexuality are deeply important aspects of human (and animal) existence
• The perception of nudity or partial nudity is cultural and varies across regions and time periods
• Interpretations of SSN are subjective to their audience (DMs, Players, Viewers)
• SSN can and often does elicit strong responses, and it is difficult bordering on impossible to know what an individual's response will be, let alone the response of a group, and certainly not a wide audience.
• For the above reasons, SSN topics can be very awkward to navigate gracefully.

To summarize the core problems with using SSN topics in TTRPGS: It's a shitshow.  Anything related to sex or sexuality is complicated and needs to be very carefully approached. Even if done well and with the best of intentions, it can be very awkward. In fact, this is such a messy subject that I broadly recommend for others and myself to avoid the topics as much as possible since the risk/reward or effort/reward ratio is poor. That means either you run a high risk of making things weird, or you have to put a lot of work in to make sure things aren't weird, and the value you get in your game out of including these topics is not very high or could be equally replicated by other, easier, methods. Your PCs don't need to express their sex or sexuality to be fun to play, and you don't need to discuss sex or sexuality to deal with most of the major topics that are fun in TTRPGs (overcoming challenges, friendship, loyalty, justice, honor, vengeance, love, respect, greed, gratitude, authoritarianism, democracy, etc.). SSN topics can play a part in some of these grand ideas, but certainly aren't needed. 

Despite this, SSN are tools to be used for specific effects. If you know specifically what it is you want to elicit in your players, or have specific commentary on society or human nature, SSN can sometimes be the right tool for the job. So now that we've talked about why it's a terrible idea to introduce SSN topics to your game, let us explore some of the areas where these topics are most fruitfully applied.

1) Emphasizing cultural differences
In theory, a group of players will share a lot of cultural norms. If we want our players to feel like their characters are in a strange new environment, a good way to do that is to present cultural norms (CN) that clash with what our players are used to or expecting. This can be achieved with any CN, but the more minor the CN the more time one needs to discuss it to show the differences. If we want our players to feel like their characters are in a different world, we can talk at length about things to which our players don't have strong reactions, or we can talk briefly about things to which our players do have strong reactions. SSN variations can be so visceral that it provokes a strong reaction and, if used right, can quickly create a feeling of "we're not in Kansas anymore." 

2) Power dynamics
SSN topics have a powerful impact on people. Who gets to have sex with who, who gets to see who naked, who is it not OK to have sex with, who is it forbidden to have sex with, who is it a mortal sin / serious crime to have sex with, etc. SSN topics can be an expression of power differences, or a metaphor for the transfer or taking of power. A character could trade their soul to a demon for power - but that doesn't have much impact since "soul" doesn't provoke a strong game mechanical cost or a strong RP cost to the player. On the other hand, if you have to give your body over to a demon for some sort of perverse sexual act in exchange for power, now our players can feel what it's like to give up something they don't want. In this way, the act of sex is the metaphor for giving up your soul, and it makes the player feel the impact more strongly than if they say they give up some amorphous concept of a soul to which they were never attached. Similarly, having PCs that are wealthy enough to spend lavishly on pleasure is a way for PC's to flex their power. Having powerful NPCs express sexual desire toward player characters as a result of their actions is a way of showing an increase in character social status.

3) Vulnerability and trust
Sex brings with it inherent vulnerabilities. Physically we are more vulnerable when engaging with sex - armor is removed, weapons are not in hand, spell components are away from us, and we're distracted from our surroundings. It also creates emotional vulnerabilities. There's a certain amount of trust and exposure involved in these acts. Sex is a great opportunity for assassination because of these vulnerabilities. It could be a tool to underscore that a relationship between two characters has progressed to the point they completely trust each other. It's a tool to build trust so that it can be broken by betrayal. It's a tool for spies and information gatherers. Nudity is a way to show that someone is helpless and vulnerable, or to trick people into believing such a thing. Alternatively, nudity is a way to project confidence or power because the nude character is showing they have no need for the common methods of safety.

4) Fame and glory
Sex is fun. Power is sexy. People like having sex with famous people or people in positions of power. If we want our PCs to feel like they've "made it", we can treat them like rock stars by having nameless NPCs throwing themselves at them.

The above cases are examples where SSN creates value and isn't gratuitous; however, even in these situations it needs to be carefully applied. The application of SSN tools is difficult and delicate. There needs to be trust between DM and players, and there needs to be the appropriate context. If it is mishandled, even if all parties were well intentioned, it can cause harm, ruin games, and damage or destroy friendships.

I strongly recommend against the use of SSN topics unless a situation is significantly improved by them, and even then, one must be very careful. If there is an audience to the game, one needs to be doubly careful.

I have used SSN in my campaigns from time to time, usually very lightly and very optionally. Perhaps I have mentioned that there is a brothel in town, or a bar doubles as one, and I let my players choose to engage or not. Once I used sex with a demonic power as a metaphor for a PC giving up their soul or power, but only in the context where it was not critical to the plot, where they were discouraged from doing so by the NPCs around them, and where they had other options before them (sacrificing an arm in this case). In the near future, I will use public nudity of women in positions of political and religious power as an example of strong cultural differences and as a tool for power projection - but the PCs will not need to interact with this background detail. 

There is great power in these tools, but it must be wielded carefully. I strongly recommend against using them unless you have a lot of trust with your players, and very strongly recommend against using them if you play before an audience where you don't know how people will react. You may portray something that you think is innocent enough, but may be deeply disturbing to someone else for reasons beyond your understanding.

When you do decide to use this tool, you should know exactly why you're using it. You should put your players in a position where they are actively choosing to engage with it instead of reacting to it. You should give enough context that your players will get the desired impact with as little room for misinterpretation as possible. SSN, when used properly, will elicit strong feelings, thoughts, or ideas to great effect. When used poorly, it will ruin everything.