Paladin 4: Chapter 16 (Patreon)

While Darren was in the capital, he upgraded Thalia from holy adept to priestess. He left her with a few of the skill books Cassandra rejected to choose from and then headed north to Castingwatch.

There, he reunited with Asuriel, Morgana, and Sasha. The three of them were just finishing up in Castingwatch. Darren’s subordinates were doing a good job clearing out all the demons in Eastwood, though there was one village in particular that was giving everyone problems.

“There’s a bunch of kids here that keep throwing rotting fruit at all our men...” Sasha sighed, shaking her head in incredulity. “Honestly, I swear our troops are more nervous about going to that village than scouting the wilderness for demons. I caught a few paladins actually trying to trade assignments.

Darren took a glance at the map. Sasha was still using the one Lady Gwen had drawn for him, so of course, her own village was marked on the map. And Sasha’s finger was pointed right at it. He’d suspected that village would be the one causing problems.

“Callum and I went there. There are some kids there who like to cause trouble. Ignore them.”

Sasha sighed. “I’m not sure we can. They’re pretty insistent that we stay as far away from their village as possible, and there is an extremely high-density collection of Demonic Aura in that area. We think it might be a path leading to the Seven Hells. We could deal with them pretty easily, but our people aren’t used to dealing with locals that hate them. Occupying an area would be very difficult for them. If we really have to, I recommend hiring one of those mercenary companies that used to patrol Limedeep before Callum put the city guard back together.”

It was indeed a troubling situation, and dealing with it would take a creative solution. Really, the people causing problems were just a bunch of kids who didn’t know any better. He and his men could rush in, tie up everyone between the ages of thirteen and eighteen, and get the job done quickly. That would work, but it wouldn’t deal with the real root of the problem.

Perhaps he could kidnap a few members of the Order of the Rod and drop them off in the village to scare the locals? No, that wouldn’t work either since repairing the dim view of sigil-wielders the locals had was proving to be enough trouble as it was. There was no need to reinforce negative stereotypes.

He could simply let demons manifest one after another and overrun the place, but why make the entire village for a small group of troublemakers?

But when they shared their problem with Asuriel, she knew exactly how to solve it.

With a glint in her eyes and a grin on her face, she said, “I’m going to need several undead, a magic sword, a knowledgeable older male mentor figure who’s prepared to die, and a prophecy!”

Sasha was the picture of skepticism. “And how exactly is any of that supposed to convince the teenage villagers to stop throwing rotten fruit at us?”

Asuriel beamed brightly. “Every teenager wants to be a hero. And every hero needs to go through a hero’s journey.”

So Darren sat down with the body of some holy adept who’d once belonged to the Order of the Rod. He’d been caught by the undead while trying to steal a fishing ship. Creating one holy adept clone wouldn’t take much energy at all, and it would only be alive for a few weeks at most, just barely long enough to become a role model and pass on a few basic skills.

After that, he activated Oracle Sight and got to work on that prophecy Asuriel needed. That took some time, but peering into the village’s future brought forth several probable outcomes, one of which actually ended with that girl, their ringleader, signing up to join Sasha’s Order of the Rose. While she wouldn’t recognize Darren from their brief encounter, thanks to that cloak he’d been wearing, she would recognize Callum. That encounter was going to be quite humorous when it happened, and Darren had a good chuckle when he witnessed it in his mind’s eye. So he wrote down the path from here to there as the prophecy Asuriel needed.

Getting the magic sword was the easiest of all. Anything higher than rare would be too powerful for this job, so Darren plucked one of the nicer-looking rare one s from the tens of thousands in his Inventory. It was a shimmering band of steel that looked like a dagger in his hands, though in the hands of a would-be teenage hero, it would serve perfectly well as their main weapon.

He passed the magic sword and the prophecy off to Asuriel, who would hide them in a stone somewhere hard to get to. It was quite an elaborate procedure.

Once his holy adept clone was up and about, Darren used his Fountain of Youth to put a few extra years on him by reversing the usual settings, and his clone and Asuriel headed north toward the village.

“Oh, this is going to be great!” Asuriel giggled to herself. “I’ve always wanted to make a movie. Director Asuriel, at your service!”

***

After Asuriel left, Darren hunted down Sasha and Morgana to give them their choice of skill books. He had a few suggestions for both of them, but these two had strong ideas of what they needed already and quickly snapped up the abilities that appealed to them the most.

Trouble came when the two of them both had their eyes on the same skill book, and only one of them could use it.

“Hands off! Masochism is mine!” Morgana snatched the skill book and held it tight to her chest.

Masochism (Epic)

• Dramatically reduces all damage taken by making the user’s physical body exceptionally sturdy. It also converts pain into pleasure, rendering the user both physically and mentally resistant to damage.

Sasha frowned. “You barely even take any damage when we’re fighting! I’m the one who has to stand in front and get hit. That damage reduction would help me a lot, though I probably don’t need the conversion of pain into pleasure...”

“Yeah, well... I get spanked basically every day! I might as well learn to enjoy it!” Morgana replied.

“Only when you do something bad,” Darren replied.

“Like I said, I get spanked every day.”

Sasha sighed. “Morgana, I really need that ability. I’ll trade you any of the other ones, but this one would be foundational to my fighting style. Your abilities mean you shouldn’t ever be taking hits. You don’t need the damage reduction.”

“Nope. I want to be a masochist!”

Darren sighed. “Alright. I will try to recreate the Masochist effect with another skill book.”

This was something Darren had been meaning to try lately. As his control over Divine Aura and his ability to manipulate it within a living being increased, so too had his control over his Limitless Evolution skill. He’d already converted all the skill books he had on hand to the epic rank and could take them no further, but there were plenty of bags of holding in his Inventory that he had yet to sort through.

He did so now, and before too long, he came across a few skill books, all either common or uncommon. That was good though because it meant he could nudge the skill books in the right direction every time.

It took him a few attempts to get what he wanted, but eventually, he got a skill approximating the effects of the Masochism skill Morgana and Sasha were fighting over.

Masochistic Fever (Epic)

• Converts pain into pleasure, and damage dealt scales with sexual excitement.

The moment she saw the new skill book, Morgana tossed the old one to Sasha and let out a laugh. “This one is way better! Mine!”

Sasha rolled her eyes. She was more interested in the protection aspects of the skill, while Morgana would be better served by further boosting her damage. The two of them ended up with the best of both worlds.

“You made a bit of trouble for me, Morgana,” Darren said with his arms crossed.

Morgana hugged the book tight. “Well, if I caused trouble for you, you can take it out on my ass! Spank away, Darren. It’ll feel good--“

Darren reached down and grabbed Morgana’s ankle, flipping her upside down and holding her in the air. “If you insist.”

“Wait, no, I haven’t had time to learn the skill yet!” Morgana yelped as Darren gave her firm and very naughty ass a good smack.

Sasha laughed at the sight, and soon Morgana joined her in giggling. He would have smacked her in the ass again, but he didn’t want to slow down Morgana and Sasha’s skill selections. It took them some time to learn all their new skills and complete their arsenals, but the two of them shared their lists of skills with him when they were finally finished.

Morgana (Archcleric, fourth order)

[10 slots]

Shadow Step (Epic)

• Move between shadows, instantly teleporting distances of up to thirty paces.

Conjure Blades (Epic)

• Allows the user to conjure phantom daggers that behave as though real.

Invisibility (Epic)

• Grants invisibility to physical senses when activated.

Masochistic Fever (Epic)

• Converts pain into pleasure, and damage dealt scales with sexual excitement.

Hex of Weariness (Rare)

• This skill reduces your target’s energy to the point of exhaustion. The effect is cumulative and can be increased by using this ability multiple times.

Hex of Sloth (Rare)

• This skill reduces your target’s speed to a slow crawl. The effect is cumulative and can be increased by using this ability multiple times.

Whispers of Fire (Epic)

• Summon a living specter made of flame that can burn enemies of its own accord. It gets stronger if ignored.

Ephemeral Hand (Epic)

• This ability allows the user to touch and sense objects from a distance using their mind. The extra set of hands materialize in the air, visible only to them. They are as strong as the user’s normal hands and can transmit tactile sensations to the user.

Farsight (Epic)

• This ability allows the user to scry on distant locations. When one eye is closed, they can transport a magical representation of that eye anywhere they wish, seeing anything visible to their ordinary vision. The eye is only detectable to people and skills sensitive to Divine Aura.

Phase Shift (Epic)

• This skill allows the user to become intangible and untouchable, making them impervious to all physical damage, as well as most magical damage. They become immune to all restraint and paralysis skills and move with increased speed while phased. It also allows them to walk through solid objects and enter otherwise inaccessible spaces.

Morgana had come a long way since she and Darren had first met. Originally, all she had were the skills Curse of Weariness and Curse of Sloth, at the common and uncommon rankings. While he was working on her skills, he took the time to upgrade each of them once, increasing the rarity and helping them keep pace with the rest of her abilities. He did the same for some of the abilities that Sasha started with.

Sasha (Archpaladin, fourth order)

[10 slots]

Steps of Gaia (Epic)

• The user becomes immovable once her feet are planted on the ground, and can move tremendous distances with every step.

Aura Shield (Rare)

• Conjure a magical shield that can block attacks.

Supreme Restoration (Uncommon)

• Wounds heal at supernatural speeds. All curses, hexes, and debuffs have their duration dramatically reduced.

Unshakable (Rare)

• Allows the user to lock themselves in place. Any attempts to push the user over will only result in the attacker hurting themselves.

Might of a Giant (Epic)

• This ability increases the users size up to six times their normal height, enhancing strength proportionally.

Damage Transference (Rare)

• Upon activation, this ability transfers damage from the user to a willing ally or vice versa.

Battle Standard (Epic)

• Generates a phantom flag that grows more powerful the longer a battle wears on. This phantom flag increases the user’s healing and Divine Aura regeneration rate.

Reflect (Epic)

• Activates when overplayed on a shield or after a successful parry. Upon activation, it completely nullifies the damage of an offensive ability. That damage is stored for up to three seconds for release as the user’s own offensive ability.

Masochism (Epic)

• Dramatically reduces all damage taken by making the user’s physical body exceptionally sturdy. It also converts pain into pleasure, rendering the user both physically and mentally resistant to damage.

Barrier (Epic)

• Generates a large flat plane of Divine Aura that blocks incoming attacks.

Might of a Giant had doubled her maximum size, so now, instead of merely being as tall as a building, she’d tower over them. Sasha still wasn’t quite the same height as Kortharat the Archdemon had been, but Darren wagered one more upgrade would put Sasha over Kortharat’s height.

With Sasha’s new abilities, she was turning increasingly into an unbreakable shield for her allies. Like Cassandra, she was becoming increasingly specialized to be a part of a team. On their own, both of them would have glaring weaknesses, like their lack of direct offensive skills, but they could more than make up for their weaknesses by giving allies the help they needed to do the damage they couldn’t.

Darren would have run Morgana and Sasha through a few drills to help them get used to their new abilities. Practicing new abilities was different every time, but he’d picked up enough of them by now that he had a good sense of what would help and what wouldn’t.

But before he could make any suggestions to his companions, someone he hadn’t expected entered the room.

“...Hello?”

Darren turned to find that princess he and his companions had rescued in Castingwatch. Normally, Darren had a perfect memory, but counting Thalia and what all his other bodies had been up to, he’d rescued a lot of princesses and noblewomen lately, so it was all starting to blend together.

“Princess Clair? It’s a bit early for regular humans to be up and about, isn’t it?” Sasha asked, eying Darren as she reminded him of the Princess’ name. She smiled back at the princess.

“While I don’t have the constitution of you and your companions, Archpaladin Sasha. I simply had to dress and wake myself when I heard the city’s savior was in the city himself!” Princess Clair turned to Darren, picking up the hem of her dress and bowing deeply. “Forgive me for not greeting you as you arrived, your highness and majesty, Darren Heavengrace, King of Limedeep and Salsroth, Emperor of Blackwind and rightful heir to Whiteguard.”

Morgana let out a low whistle. “Man, Darren. You sound pretty important when she introduces you. Do me next, princess!”

“Greetings to you as well, Darren’s concubine,” Princess Clair replied.

“Aww...” Morgana scowled. “Just wait, princess! We’ll corrupt you yet!”

Princess Clair turned to Sasha. “If I may be so rude as to borrow your lord for a bit, I would like to give him a tour of the city he now rules over.”

Sasha raised an eyebrow. “Depends on what my title is.”

“I wouldn’t dream of disrespecting the Captain of the Order of the Rose, Slayer of Demon Lords, and Supreme Commander of the Forces of Limedeep.”

Sasha grinned. “Sure, princess! You can borrow our man for a bit.” She gave Darren a pat on the back while Morgana spluttered in indignation.

Darren left with Princess Clair trailing behind him. It took him a while to realize that she meant to lead him through the city, but seemed shy about stepping too close to his side. He nipped that in the bud by wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her up to his side. She didn’t resist as he brought her tight, though her eyes looked anywhere but his.

“So... ahem... your lord highness and imperial majesty, this would be the palace courtyard.” She gestured to the sprawling wooden structure around them. Like everything else in Eastwood, the palace was constructed entirely of fine wood. “I’m sure you’re used to ancient stone palaces in Limedeep and Blackwind, but here in Eastwood we’re comfortable enough sticking to what we know best, carpentry.”

“It seems cozy,” Darren replied.

“Yes!” Clair nodded her head enthusiastically at the slightest note of approval, though she soon forced herself into a more reserved tone. “Ahem... I mean, you’re quite right. That’s the aesthetic our craftsmen go for, your lord highness and imperial majesty.”

“Use my name, please.”

“Pardon?”

“No, it’s Darren.”

Clair pursed her lips, and a few heartbeats ticked by. “A-alright... Darren.”

“Well done, Clair.”

Darren thought speaking like this was a lot easier than saying ‘princess this’ and ‘royal majesty that’ all the time. But contrary to his expectations, Princess Clair was having a harder time finding her words after his correction than she had been before it.

He had to prompt her before she remembered what they were talking about. “You were showing me your city.”

“Right!” Clair cleared her throat and continued. “Castingwatch has been an important player in trade across the Sacred Seas for centuries, and our suppliers here have historically been be greatest suppliers of all things made of wood. Admittedly, our craft is a bit spartan compared to what it used to be, but that’s because we no longer have full control of our forests, thanks to the demons milling about. But thanks to you, that problem has been taken care of, and for the first time in months, we’ve got the mills working at full capacity! It will be some time before that lumber hits the craftsmen, and further still before we can send our goods to foreign markets, but it’s a start.”

“Good.”

Clair pursed her lips at Darren’s terse response. “I promise you, we can be worthwhile vassals. I’m certain keeping a garrison here in Castingwatch will put a strain on your budget, but the investment into order and safety here will pay dividends for you down the road...”

“Great.”

Clair looked increasingly nervous at Darren’s brief replies. “No doubt you’ll wish to negotiate a formal arrangement. I couldn’t help but notice your men have moved into the Order of the Rod’s old quarters. I know you are hoping to inherit the deal they once had for us, but the cost of grain on my people was truly higher than they could bear. Perhaps now, with lumber flowing freely, it might be possible, but it’s still quite high.”

“Cassandra is handling the grain for you.”

“I... I suppose so. I’ve received a few letters from the Silver Sword Merchant Company saying as much.” Clair fidgeted nervously. “She seemed to say that the palace could start collecting taxes ourselves again? Before, Whiteguard claimed that right. They took ninety percent and gave us the last ten percent to spend maintaining palace functions. Might I ask what kind of cut we can expect to pay you now that we’re collecting things ourselves again? Mind you, we’ll have some additional administrative overhead, so I’ll need more than a mere ten percent...”

Darren shook his head. “I don’t need your money. Spend the other ninety percent on your people.”

“If that’s what you demand, then I can certainly accommodate you. But that wasn’t the only thing I wanted to ask.” Clair fidgeted nervously.

“What?”

“Will I be able to rule?” Clair asked. “Am I to be your puppet princess, confined to her tower? Or will I be able to leave?”

“You can do whatever you want.” As the two walked, Darren caught a whiff of something nice. Someone was baking something nearby. The marketplace was looking a lot more like a busy marketplace should now that the first of Cassandra’s ships had arrived to deliver goods worth selling.

“Truly? You mean I can write my own schedules and leave the palace whenever?” Clair stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Yes. Let’s go over there. I smell food.”

Darren and Princess Clair grabbed lunch at the market, much to the shock and surprise of the locals. They’d never seen their princess without an army of Order of the Rod bodyguards surrounding her. This was the first time most people were able to get a real glimpse of her. A few even tried to get a bit closer to her than seemed polite, but one glare from Darren did more than an entire army of Order of the Rod bodyguards.

While they ate, Clair told him all about Castingwatch and the future she saw for it as part of Darren’s larger array of vassal states. She was doing her best to impress him, and he smiled all the while thoughtfully.

“I mean it. Eastwind... no... I, Princess Clair of the Eastwood Kingdom, am willing to offer anything to assure your continued assistance in the manner you’ve been providing.” Clair leaned forward in her seat. “We really need all the help we can get.”

“Sure.”

“Anything you want!” Clair insisted, pressing herself up against him as she looked up with wide eyes and thick lashes. “Absolutely anything in the entire kingdom is yours to claim the moment you desire it.”

Darren realized where this was going. It was the same look Cassandra gave him back in Limedeep when the Silver Sword Merchant Company needed more investments to avoid going bankrupt.

“I see. Come back to the palace. We’re going to need a sturdy table.”

Princess Clair’s face went red as Darren scooped her up and flew back to the palace. That was far faster than wading through the dense crowd that had gathered outside the establishment they’d gotten lunch in.

“A... table? Surely you mean a bed, right? A table doesn’t seem like the right place to do this.”

Darren shrugged. “A bed it is.”

Darren used his tremendous senses to find the sturdiest bed, which was a truly massive bed fit for a dozen people. The legs were actual tree trunks, which was a good thing because gold was very heavy.

Darren set Clair down next to him while he a massive heaping pile of money on the mattress. When half the bed was covered in glittering silver and gold, the bed frame started to bend, and he had to cut off the flow of money.

“Use this to buy stuff from Cassandra,” Darren replied. “Get the city back in order.”

“Y-you’re giving me money?” Clair asked, mouth dropping wide. “Why take me to my father’s old bedroom?”

“I suggested a table,” Darren reminded her. He turned toward the door. He sensed Morgana and Sasha practicing in the courtyard, and he wanted to lend a hand. “Take care, princess!”

He closed the door behind him, leaving behind a very confused princess. The last thing he heard was her muttering under her breath.

“Perhaps I should have listened to Asuriel and Morgana after all…”

<Note>

So, Thalia was a bit overdue, but at this point in the series, I think a transformation from holy adept to priestess is commonplace enough that it can occur off-screen. I’m not going to mention her abilities either since Thalia’s too weak to do any real fighting by Darren’s side. Her role in the story (at least for this book) is going to be strictly administrative, and she’ll be taking over a lot of the city-building (now elevated to empire-building) that Cassandra was doing in books 2 and 3.

How do you guys feel about Asuriel’s little movie? She’s filming a Hero’s Journey story, complete with a big bad, a magic sword, and a mentor who “dies.”

To do Asuriel’s movie full justice, I’d have to write the whole Hero’s Journey out from the perspective of one of those village teenagers. That can’t go in this book, but it could be a side story I write at some point. That would be the most thorough way to do it. Otherwise, it is likely to just be a quick summary told in exposition, with maybe that girl showing up again for a brief cameo at a later date so we can check in with her and see if she’s changed her paladin-hating ways after becoming one.