Long Live the Emperor: Chapter 6 (Patreon)

With the crucial stuff done and his whereabouts scouted, Alvin decided to get some profound relaxation done. Bertha brought some village girls into the castle to entertain him, which Alvin appreciated. They stayed with him for two whole days entertaining him in all sorts of ways. He even managed to learn a little more about the local town, though that certainly hadn't been his area of focus while they were concentrating on learning about other things.

Yes, the people of this world were anatomically identical to those of his old world. All the right bits were in the same places. He'd checked very thoroughly.

"The two of you will be glad to hear you don't have breast cancer," Alvin said to the two of them.

"Haha... you still haven't explained what that cancer stuff is," one of the girls giggled.

"But we definitely appreciate you looking after us, Lord Aldrich!" the other said. "Call us back anytime!"

The two hardly looked prepared to leave, but the maid, Ella, was standing by the door with a broom in her hand. She'd had a scowl on her face ever since the two village girls arrived, and now the way she hefted the broom by the handle looked like she was prepared to use it as a club.

"Alright, I think our time is up. Ella, if you could please see my two guests out?"

"Gladly, Lord Aldrich," Ella said. She grabbed the two village girls by the collars of their shirts and dragged them out the door. She was back to Aldrich's room in mere minutes, furiously tearing at the sheets and tossing them in a bin one after the other.

"How much did you pay them?" Alvin asked, knowing the dire state of Aldrich's finances. How much had the manor wasted so Alvin could have a little fun?

"Pay them?" Ella asked with her brows furrowed.

"You know, for their services."

"My lord, those weren't whores. Those were volunteers," Ella explained.

Alvin's own brows drew tight. "Well damn. It's good to be the king. Or, in this case, the baron."

He whistled to himself. Aldrich certainly had it made. Alvin was surprised he'd trust another soul with a life as good as this one. Maybe it was a case of seeing the grass was always greener on the other side of the universe. Maybe he thought a modern life like Alvin's better suited his taste, even if it meant losing the servants, the fawning women, the respect and adoration of the masses, and everything else he had here.

Alvin, on the other hand, was beginning to think he could make do. For the first day or so, the lack of internet, cell phones, and indoor plumbing started to wear on him. But things weren't as bad as he thought. Thanks to Ella and her mother tending to a lot of his needs, a lot of the tedium of living in medieval society was gone. The lack of automation hurt, but servants could make up for it. He lacked indoor plumbing, but a wealthy lord could afford a rather fine outhouse, and with a maid drawing him a bath every day, the lack of a shower wasn't too bad.

The biggest change was in how he entertained himself. He couldn't watch television or browse the internet, but as the two village girls had just proved, he could call in an entirely different sort of entertainment at will. It was different but by no means worse. He certainly wouldn't have wanted to be one of the poor sorry saps he saw outside the manor window sweeping the streets or living in some thatched hovel, but the life of a medieval lord was in many ways better than that of a twenty-first-century student and wage slave, despite the lack of modern conveniences.

He had expected Aldrich to contact him by now, but he was enjoying himself enough not to make a fuss. It helped that he could feel Aldrich's mind like a tether attached to his own every time he slept. He wasn't certain, but he had a feeling he'd be able to make Aldrich show himself if he really wanted to. Maybe he could even follow the connection back to his original body. He practiced a little while sleeping, but he had so much to do while he was awake that he didn't place much emphasis on training that skill.

The longer Aldrich borrowed his body, the more rent he racked up for Alvin. By the time Alvin finally got his original body back, he would be a wage slave no longer! He was already counting his gold and figuring out how to launder it. He could pay off his student loans and credit cards, move into a nicer apartment, put the bulk of the money toward a little investment account that could grow and throw off some dividends for himself to play with, and maybe even buy some property. He'd never been on the other side of renting an apartment before.

In a way, as a feudal lord, that was how Aldrich lived. And now that Alvin had a taste of being a lord of the land, he wondered what it would be like to play the same role in his homeland in a more modern setting. Presumably, it would be even more luxurious...

Alvin was still inwardly debating the benefits of being a feudal lord when he heard a distant rhythmic sound.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Do you hear that noise?" Alvin asked.

At first, he thought it was an engine, but he'd seen no sign of technology of that level out in town. Now that he was listening, it seemed to be growing louder.

"What noise, Lord Aldrich?" Ella asked.

It took him time to place it. Footsteps. But this was different from the noises coming from the town. These were many footsteps, all in sync.

"Footsteps. It sounds like there are a lot of people this way. Is there a guard outpost for the town? I'm curious who's coming this way and if the guards know about them already."

"Sir, you fired the last of the guards this month when you ran out of coin to pay them. They used to keep watch in the main tower on the manor's tallest floor. There's a spyglass there still," Ella explained.

Ella led Alvin up to the tower at the top of the manor. Aldrich's home wasn't exactly a castle, but the manor was fortified enough that it had some defenses, including a wooden keep. The top of that wooden keep served as the lookout post and the primary military structure for the entire barony.

It seemed a little undersized considering the prosperity of the town, but Alvin supposed that East Water had a lot of new residents thanks to Aldrich's suspension of taxes. From the half-rotted and rickety look of the keep, it seemed like the structure was at least a century old. The barony was probably nothing more than a farming village when it was constructed.

Now, the tower just barely looked out over the tallest buildings in town. Alvin squinted in the distance and saw nearly five hundred figures marching in his direction. Some were on horseback, some on wagons, and most on foot, marching in step. All of them had their armor and weapons already at hand.

East Water didn't have much in the way of walls, and it was clear that they'd stopped while over the far hill to arm and armor themselves. They were already prepared for battle.

"Who are they?" Alvin asked. "Please tell me those troops are friendly."

Ella rummaged around in a nearby trunk until she finally found the spyglass she'd mentioned earlier. She held it to her cheek, and her face went pale. She handed it off to Alvin. Looking through the crude telescope, Alvin saw the banners. The bottom corners were a green field bursting with golden wheat. A black sword with a gold gem in the center descended from the sky and cleaved the field in two.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, my lord, but that is the banner of Count Grandhill," Ella's said grimly.

"And I take it he's not here to invite me to tea," Alvin replied.

"No, he isn't. You expected him to come for East Water after he took your castle last week. Now he's coming for you here. I would recommend we run again, but this time we have nowhere else to run to. Nor are there any walls to hold or guards to hold them. I... I think you should take what valuables we have left so you can flee with all speed, my lord."

Damn. I knew there had to be a catch to this noble lord gig.

Note:

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait on this one. I ended up completely redoing it. The first version had this whole thing where there were fires lighting up all over the town, and he had to figure out what was happening and keep the town from burning down. Meanwhile, he'd slowly reinvigorate the spirits of the flagging guards and stuff. It was stretching from one chapter to a lot longer than one chapter, so midway through I just cut it all and restarted.

At the end of the day this is the lead-up to the story I'm trying to tell, not the story itself. So I figured I'd just cut the BS and get right down to the point straight away in one short chapter. There are men on the horizon and the town has absolutely no defenses whatsoever, and Alvin was warned way too late to do anything about it because there wasn't even a single guard keeping watch.