Long Live the Emperor: Chapter 4 (Patreon)

The maid’s massage was terrific, and he got about a week’s worth of relaxing done in a few minutes. He also learned the lay of the manor and enough about the village that he thought he was ready to gogo outside.

He said as much to the maid, whose name he still hadn’t learned. She helped him get dressed, much to his embarrassment. Apparently, he’d been wearing those trousers and shirt backward. Both were designed to be laced up from behind instead of the front.

It was counterintuitive, and to Alvin’s experience, it was highly impractical. But it did provide a sleek look from the front, unbroken by buttons or laces. The trouble was, they were impossible to put on without help. He supposed that was why this sort of style was reserved for nobles.

Since most of what was in Aldrich’s drawers were the same, he figured these maids dressed Aldrich every day, so he did his best to pretend to not be uncomfortable. Truthfully, he’d rather have some real clothes. If he was going to be spending a substantial amount of time in Aldrich’s body, he’d have to pick something normal up. Surely, there was a tailor in the village around the manor.

“You wouldn’t happen to remember where I put those books on dreamwalking, would you?” Alvin asked.

“Why, my lord, they’re almost certainly in your study. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you read them elsewhere. I was just dusting the place this morning, and I’m certain I saw them on the shelf,” the maid replied. “I know not to touch those, since you sold off the northern holdings for those three books. I don’t dare to even brush the dust off anything so valuable!”

“Do you think you could show me?”

And so Alvin followed the maid down the hall. The manor was large, but that was partially because it was not only Aldrich’s home but also a keep and armory, a judicial hall, and the administrative center for the entire barony. The wing full of Aldrich’s personal rooms was just two floors off to one side of the manor’s main structure.

His study was just across the hall and down, and the maid opened the door to gesture to a few books on the wall.

“Thank you, that will be all,” Alvin said as he plucked the books from their place on the shelves.

They slid into his hand, and he froze for a moment as he saw the alien shapes of the letters on the covers. The sense of confusion and unfamiliarity only lasted a second, though. Once it passed, he read the words as easily as he understood his own language. Now that he was thinking about it, the words he’d been speaking earlier weren’t familiar sounds either. He’d quietly slipped into another tongue without even realizing it. It probably had something to do with the dreamwalker magic Aldrich had used to switch places with him. Some aspects stayed with the original body, like language and coordination.

He found three books on dreamwalking on the shelf, all handwritten. They were deceptively thick since they were bound sheets of parchment instead of paper. Though the stack sat from chest to neck, each book only had about fifty pages in it. Still, the gold embroidery and the rich inks used in their construction left no doubt that any one of these books was worth a fortune. The maid said Aldrich had sold off his northern holdings for these three books, so they probably represented a significant portion of Aldrich’s net worth.

The first page contained a piece of richly inked art depicting a man sitting cross-legged on the ground. Incense burned before him, and a cloud of spiritual energy took shape over his head. In that spiraling cloud of energy, Alvin could just barely make out the thin flickering forms of something. Those had to be the spirits Aldrich had mentioned.

Alvin’s excitement was dashed shortly thereafter. He was hoping to find a list of the abilities and limitations of this spirit magic. If he knew that, he could make better deals with Aldrich. It would make sense for a book on magic to contain a description of what that magic could do. If Alvin were writing it, he would put that right in front before anyone had to flip through the rest of the book.

But apparently, the authors of these three tomes didn’t share Alvin’s same ideals for textbook organization. The page right after the drawing contained a recipe for mixing together a special type of incense meant to dull the physical senses and awaken the magical senses. Each time, they stressed the need to use genuine White Peak Mountain flower petals grown exclusively in the White Peak Mountain Abbey.

The greatest Dreamwalkers use only the highest quality incense. And the highest quality incense can only come from the best quality ingredients! White Peak Mountain’s expert alchemists are the best in the world for verifying the quality of incense ingredients. Wise Dreamwalkers buy their supplies only from White Peak Mountain Abbey! Remember, inferior products could allow your body to be taken over by demons who will use you to eat your loved ones. Buy only White Peak Mountain Abbey-approved incense!

Alvin flipped back to the front cover to check the author’s name.

Abbot Martine De’jormen of White Peak Mountain Abbey.

Was this entire book an advertisement?

Disappointed, Alvin flipped to the next book, titled ‘The Sacred Meditation Mats of the Dreamwalkers.’

This one was gilded with as much gold as the others, but the hides were used to make it look different. The colors and the shapes lining its sides gave it an exotic look Alvin couldn’t place.

He opened the book, hoping for the secrets of Dreamwalking the previous book had been missing.

This one did have an introductory page, and what an introductory page it was. In tiny font barely legible, there was row after row of text describing some ancient parable about stealing a yak from the gods and combing its hair to create the first Dreamwalker mat. Apparently, sitting on these mats and meditating increased the odds of reaching the right state to contact the spirits.

Alvin flipped to the next page and found a depiction of a floor mat cushioned about the right size for someone to sit on cross-legged and meditate. He read the description.

Purchase the exclusive Sacred Albino Yak Hair meditation mat, now with a built-in incense holder. Exclusively available from the Grinning Tiger Valley Temple’s merchant division. Warning: using counterfeit meditation mats will result in demons possessing your body and attempting to steal your harem! Be wise and use only Grinning Tiger Valley brand Sacred Albino Yak hair meditation mats!

Alvin closed the book without bothering to look through the rest of the pages. He pushed it to one side, vainly hoping the third book would have something useful in it. The title gave him a little hope, as it read ‘Meditation Training for the Uninitiated: Begin Your Journey Into the Spirit Realm!’

Though it was the least decoratively adorned of the three books, the corners of each page showed wear. Aldrich had used this book more than either of the others. Surely that meant this was the one he’d learned from?

Come join the Spirit Realm Monastery’s exclusive resort for the magically initiated! Here, we offer more than thirty different kinds of courses focused on getting your consciousness into the spirit realm. Under the supervision of our skilled instructors, even if demons take over your thoroughly restrained and gagged body, they will not be able to share your dirtiest, most perverted secrets or use it for unnatural means of sexual gratification. Ours is the only place to learn Dreamwalking! Be wise and practice Dreamwalking with us!

Alvin slammed his forehead into the table. Aldrich had been scammed. If he weren’t still feeling so relaxed from his earlier message, he would have screamed. As it was, all he did was sigh.

***

Alvin left Aldrich’s study in disappointment. It would be of little help to him with magic, but there were history, science, philosophy, and religion books aplenty. He would have to flip through them when he had the time. Gathering the cultural context for where Aldrich was from could be important. But for now, there was one way to experience what life was like here in Aldrich’s world, far faster than shuffling through the pages of a dusty old tome. He could go outside.

He looked around for some guards, but oddly, the manor seemed mostly empty. The maid he’d spoken to earlier was the only person scurrying about. Alvin thought it was a bit odd that a baron didn’t have more security, but perhaps the town was exceptionally safe. By the presence of his training gear and by all accounts, Aldrich had been a skilled swordsman. Perhaps he thought he was capable of guarding himself.

Whatever the explanation was, Alvin thought it best to belt on one of Aldrich’s spare swords. He ruled this place, so even if wearing a sword in town was illegal, nobody was going to stop him.

He strolled out past the front gates. They weren’t the most secure things, but a pair of guard posts sat on either side of the door. Clearly, someone was supposed to be managing this entrance, and yet nobody was. That seemed the sort of thing he, as the lord, should be worried about.

But then again, this whole world was Aldrich’s problem. If Aldrich wanted to waste all his money, mismanage his guards, and generally run his realm into the ground, then it was no business of Alvin’s.

He was curious how familiar Aldrich’s face was to the local townsfolk. Did they know their lord’s face? How did they think of him? Would they be guarded? Outright hostile? Either would be bad, and if he sensed those emotions from the townsfolk, he would immediately return to the manor.

But in sharp contrast to his fears, everyone greeted him with smiles.

“Good morning, milord!” A young woman with a basket full of flowers said. She approached Alvin without fear and plucked a flower from her basket. With a friendliness Alvin wouldn’t have expected between a lord and his subject, she reached for his pocket and tucked the flower into his coat. “May you have a pleasant day.”

Then she planted a kiss on his cheek and giggled to herself for a moment before ducking her head and running away.

Alvin was taken aback. Was he supposed to know that woman? If so, why did she run after?

He was still wondering who the girl with the flower basket had been before another pair of young women rushed up to him. The two of them had bright smiles on their faces, and they ran up to him just as fearlessly as the first.

One wore an apron stained with flour, and the other had needles tucked into the arm of her dress. Both were working women. In medieval society, he would have expected them to be tucked away nursing a few newborns, but from their dress and demeanor toward him, that wasn’t the case. Women probably had more rights here and were a much more active part of the craftsmen class than in the actual middle ages. That was a pleasant surprise and would make it easier to get along with this new society.

The one with the needles was presumably a tailor, and she pressed a finger into his chest and ran it from his stomach to the nape of his neck, smiling up at him the whole time. “Milord! We missed you on the practice field today! Normally, you’re sweaty enough now to take your heavy gambeson off and show us what all that sword work does for your chest...”

“I brought you some of those sweets again!” The baker presented a basket full of delicious-looking sweets. She practically pressed one of them into Alvin’s hands, then pulled his own hand and the sweet roll in it up to his mouth. Alvin took a bite before he’d even decided whether to accept the gift. “I know you wouldn’t eat them last time, but I promise you I didn’t put anything weird in these!”

Alvin’s mouth froze. “Define weird.”

“Oh, she’s just teasing,” the tailor chuckled, though the way she glared at her companion suggested otherwise.

He had a dozen more encounters, just like the first couple as he wandered the town. It was bigger than he would have expected a city in this age to be. Most of the buildings were two stories tall, and a lot of them looked to be made of wattle and daub, though many sported stone foundations.

There was a poorer region of town inhabited mostly by laborers, farmhands, and those with only temporary employment. Their houses tended toward the lower end and used thatch on the roofs, but across town, where the merchants and craftspeople worked, many of the rooms had bright blue shingles, and some of the windows had glass instead of shutters. They only had small panes of the stuff, but the fact that it existed at all with this level of technology was quite impressive.

The roads, too, were neat, though most had seen better days. The cobblestones were worn smooth down the center of the streets, though what few holes there were had been filled in with dirt rather than new stones. To the east, there was a large lake, and he saw a few small boats returning with the day’s catch. There was an active fish market here, and even the poorest residents could fill their bellies.

On the whole, Alvin thought East Water was an impressive specimen of a medieval town. He could see himself finding plenty of ways to entertain himself here while Aldrich borrowed his body for whatever business he had on earth.

But the town was secondary compared to the people. There was an exceptionally large number of women around town, perhaps fifteen or more for every man. More than that, though, even the older ones had a sort of timeless beauty to them. Perhaps medieval life was more physically demanding than he was used to, but everyone seemed to be in excellent shape and health. He’d expected yellow teeth and lepers everywhere, but he found a happy, healthy populace smiling back at him around every corner.

The only explanation he could think of was that these people used those vitality spirits Aldrich had mentioned to improve their health. Perhaps there had been something akin to a wizard’s shop or an alchemist’s laboratory on the crafter’s street he’d passed by. There had to be something at work keeping these people so happy and healthy.

That was a question for another day, though, because as word spread that he was wandering the town, a few of the women had abandoned their work to talk to him.

“Lord Aldrich, it’s so good to see you back from the front lines. Now that you’re healed, how long will you be staying?”

Alvin chuckled. “I’m not sure, but thank you for worrying after me.”

Front lines? He’d have to look into that.

“Some of the people are growing worried that you don’t have heirs with the trying times that will be upon us soon. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help!”

“I don’t think I need a matchmaker quite yet,” Aldrich replied.

He supposed it wasn’t too surprising that a young lord would be so sought after by the ladies of the town. After all, if they married him, they’d move into his manor. That was probably worth pursuing most peasant women and even the craftswomen who thought they’d do better at being a noblewoman than plying their trade. But he had to remember that this wasn’t his body. He couldn’t set Aldrich up for marriage by mistake.

“It must get awfully cold and lonely in your manor with just a few maids as a company. If you ever want someplace more lively to sleep, I have a room in my inn reserved just for you! Some of the ladies there enjoy talking politics from time to time. Having you there would make it, so they weren’t waggling their tongues for nothing!”

“Not tonight, but maybe I’ll stop by to sample whatever you have on tap in the future,” Alvin said.

He parted ways with everyone who waved and spoke with him. Perhaps Aldrich was doing something right after all to be so beloved by his people.

Or maybe there was something else going on. Alvin wasn’t sure, and he needed to be better prepared. The smartest thing to do would be to find his maid’s mother. His maid had mentioned she’d known he’d be sick today, which meant she was in on Aldrich’s secret body-switching project. That meant he could ask her all the questions he had without worrying about spilling Aldrich’s secret. He had to be responsible when borrowing someone else’s body.

And so he returned to his manor and made it to his bedroom. If he was lucky, his maid would still be cleaning it up. He opened the door and was surprised to find the room occupied, but not by his maid.

The young woman with the flower basket from earlier sat along his bed, arms outstretched and body devoid of even a shred of clothing. She turned her head at him as he opened the door.

“Oh my, was this your bed?” She batted her eyes playfully. “Maybe I’m a naughty, evil thief who’s broken into your manor. I think you’re going to have to punish me...”

Note:

Should Alvin...

(A) Sleep with flower girl.

(B) Scream and call the guards.

(C) Throw her in the dungeon.

(D) Politely decline.