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February Question Thread! (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-02 19:49:54
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Be careful! Ask your questions here, and we'll read them if they don't make me fucking angry and they don't scare me a little bit (I'm shy and afraid of reading questions.) Remember to keep it as brief as you can as we want to get as many of you homeless virgins as possible. 

- Chris

Comments

YoungJedi772

Men’s butt? Discuss.

Anonymous

Howdy folks! Dropping to the $5 tier bc mama needs a gym membership. If you had to give props to any dictator, malicious nation, etc., who and what would it be? Bonus/ Alternate Question: What is my hardest bar?

becca

greetings three wise men! this question was inspired by your infamous extra ammo. if you could force the daily wire to produce a movie or documentary, what would it be about?

Full Metal Sween

When will the “Cock Rate” Patreon tier exist?

The Nightman

Howdy partners! Would you rather have super convincing AI deepfakes (like 90% realistic) of you guys earnestly admitting to shit so horrible that there's no recovering from it, or record and release a video or series of videos of you guys taking turns spitroasting each other?

Anonymous

Have you guys heard Paramore's new cover of Burning Down the House? If so, what are your thoughts?

child endangerment

what’s up STR DEX and INT question for you chris and a comment for derrick: thoughts on cyberpunk 2077? i’ve heard you mention it like once in the past and derrick the amount of oiled up baddies in that game is astounding you gotta try it

The 3 terabytes of Porn on Chris’ old MacBook

Hello jimmy john, Black dude, and the Notorious BLT. I just knew Derrick would do a gay cover of FACTS featuring Ben Shabibo. My question is mainly when the full release will drop? Stay gay fellas.

Anonymous

Hello you lovely Snarks. My question is if there is any little thing you guys do in real life that you got from video games? For me whenever I pick up anything hand-held at work I inspect it like a first time pick up of a new gun in an fps.

Sydney Sweenys Tit's as two Moons

What Gaming I.P. would you like to see reimagined by another Studio? Like if Rockstar had Spiderman, or Remedy had silent hill two. Etc etc. Would love to know how you guys would think what IPs would fit best with which studio. Or which would do a hilariously bad job.

Anonymous

Sup dark, darker, and twink.So it goes like this. You each gain knowledge of when the world is ending. What do you do?

Anonymous

Now that Valentine’s Day is coming up, what’s the craziest story you have when it comes to love? This could be anything from a date going wrong to something concerning the holiday itself from your school days.

Benis

Best and worst form of Robert? I would say Bert is EASILY the worst

Jacko

Hey long dick, wide dick, and Chris, has there been a time when this podcast has bled into your lives outside of the Snark Tank? For me, I can’t watch the opening cutscene for halo infinite anymore because I just think about Master Chief shitting up his own back when he’s fighting Atriox like a baby fighting a gorilla. Keep the hyucks cumming.

He was a gayer boy, he said fuck me harder boy. He wasn’t straight enough for her

Hello gay, gay, and gayest. This might be better suited for an Extra Ammo depending on how in depth you wanna take it, but in a recent episode you guys briefly discussed what Donald Trump’s Mortal Kombat move set would be. Now I wanna see more fighting game move sets for more and more ridiculous characters. Could be anyone you guys think of for any fighting game (Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Smash, etc.), the more ridiculous, the better.

A large mexican guy who works at starbucks

Whats good my Snarka's, if you could steal someone's likeness for a day, what would you do to fuck them over. (They still have their own likeness, you essentially become a doppleganger)

Anonymous

Hello cumboys! All this talk about fighting games got me thinking, if you were to create a Snark Tank fighting game, who would be in the roster, stages, super moves, etc. ? Thank you for giving me a break from my monotony every week

JayC

Why are you gay?

EvilMasterSean

How would you inconvenience someone in the most maximized way possible without causing physical harm? Ex. Replace every lock on everything they own.

Anonymous

Hey Mr Ray Gun and the Blacks If Mr Beast bought a home for every Snark Tank patreon subscriber, would you just end the podcast? Also Chris, can you please explain where the chicken fucking lore on Sacred comes from? Genuinely confuses me. Thanks for making me laugh to myself constantly at work and making my coworkers think I’m weird.

Commander-in-Queef

What's show or game series you were so invested in it genuinely hurt you when the writing became dogshit? For example I love gears of war and how consistently good it was but in gears 5 the writers turned JD Fenix into a fucking war criminal then sidelined him instead of developing kait and del for no reason.

The Big CheeZe

Sup dudes, What are some of your favorite indie games if you have any? My favorite is Bomb rush cyberfunk by team reptile. Also pizza tower was robbed at the game awards. Edit: actually it's terraria by relogic and BRCF is a VERY close 2nd

Anonymous

Hypothetical: You are suffering a severe brain tumor and decide it'd be great for your brand if you have an evil version of yourself to battle at the end of your videos. These fights spiral off into long arcs where you fight other versions of yourself wearing different colored shirts. What kind of story arcs are you coming up with in this deteriorated state. I know this is a long one, fuck you. Keep being funny assholes.

JayC

Hello Chris Harvey Oswald, Sween and Derdick Are there any games or projects that were cancelled in development that you wish were completed? Also Ben Shapiro is better than Eminem and fuck you Chris

SillyLittleEnbyWithAMissile

Hello, the three splooges What book/movie/show do you want to see a game adaptation of, even if you know if one was made it would probably be shit. For example I think a subnautica-ish game based off made in abyss would be pretty cool

Gay Smiling Friends Be Like- Hooray Charlie you bred me! I'm boy preggers Charlie. I love dick Charlie! I love dick!

Dear Middle Aged, Middle Class, and just plain mid. My question is: with the Super Bowl being this month which video game characters would you recruit in a Space Jam like scenario to save Earth? To make it interesting let’s say the contest is two parts: regular American football and hardcore gay power bottoming. They have to be total champions in both areas. P.S. I started subscribing and listening on account of my cute boyfriend Scotty who would absolutely blush if he heard you read that Chris.

Spank Sinatra and Bing Cumsby

Hello (INSERT MILDLY RACIST NAMES HERE), long time listener, first time writer here. Keeping it simple, would y'all rather give the first 99% of a blow job, or the last 1%?

YaGuyALT

If you had a tiny clone you could torture of anyone who would it be and in what ways

Anonymous

Hey assholes, Hypothetical here. You are able to pick one weapon, relic, item etc from any world or universe of your choosing, the caveat to this is, whoever that item or weapon belongs to immediately knows you have it, they know who you are and they are coming to this world very much intent to get it back. Keep in mind they have all their powers and abilities outside of whatever item you choose to take grants them. Best wishes. Fuck you.

Anonymous

If you had a smidge of pee, poo, and cum individually on a finger and you had to stick one in your mouth which would you choosem

Jack-O's ODBT

Hi you three, commemorating the fact that Tekken 8 is about to consume me while, have you ever seen the insanity that is Kings ending in Tekken 1?

Anonymous

Alright, more “serious” question wasn’t getting answered, so stupid question it is: Is Grape Ape a Kaiju? Derrick’s Kaiju knowledge would be much appreciated here.

My a left nut

Hello from the land of tea baggers ol' chaps. Who would be the funniest or craziest person to see in the news for a terrible crime like murder or terrorism. Who and how would they accomplish it! Cheers.

I strip copper so I can cop strippers

Hello two and a half bears. Is it gay to kiss a fellar goodnight, and if so does your mom kissing you goodnight count as incest? Sincerely, the only city bus driver that listens.

The Royal Cum Catcher

Hey guys! I’m going to LA for a wedding in March. Coming from the UK and hiring a car, any places to avoid and what the must see places? I’m already avoiding Downtown and realise I’ll see screaming homeless wherever.

I’m Johnny GAWKSville, and this is Gayass!

Sup my *insert racial slur here*. You can choose between shitting cum or cumming shit. Which one are you choosing? If you shit cum you will also have manageable HIV. Go fuck yourselves and your gay

Definitely Stephanie

Not so much a question but a heartfelt plea: please make Spider-Man 5 holy shit I need it oh my g-

Y_Jello

Hello trans masc,trans fem and,they them abomination My question is if you could drop the cast of read dead two in any universe game or movie what would it be make it as absurd as possible

Anonymous

Can you guys brainstorm the worst, most nefarious ways Elon’s Neuralink implant could be exploited in the near future, since he just announced the first human participant after murdering thousands of apes. Fun fact, the best answer will become a reality!

Gape away, gape away, break that f-slurs balls - The Slime of the Rubbing Cocks by Black Faggot

Hey dweebs, who's someone that you would specifically NOT want as a guest on the podcast? Like you would genuinely be offended if they showed the slightest bit of interest in being on the show. Perhaps as a more digestible alternative, who's someone you would like to talk to/meet or already know and are friends with, but actually don't want on or don't think would be a good fit for the show (it seems this is how you feel about our lord and saviour Keith David)?

Anonymous

Pick a story and change the genre. I’d make Toy Story a psychological horror movie where Andy fucks the toys

Nikki Ziggy

Hey, it's me, one of the single digit female patrons you possess. In light of Texas fighting the federal government at the border, if a civil war were to break out in the US, what are your predictions as to how it would go down? Do you think the upsetti spaghetti conservatives would do a punch bowl if they lost?

Anonymous

This one is for Derek: What are your favorite Misfit Deep Cuts?

DrDuwop

Hello wielders of the triforce. Aside from giving every game grappling hooks. Is there any ability or mechanic you would love to be in most games?

ComicG

Hey guys, I was really interested in the boobs ranking we never got. can you give a top 3 off the top of each of your heads? fictional characters only please. Easier to compare if you don't mix real and cartoon imo. Thanks.

Anonymous

Do you guys have any good gaming event stories. I just went to the Tony Hawk Pro Skater 25th anniversary. They had a band do covers of the original songs, ps1 set ups, a half pipe with pro skaters, and free Tony hawk themed tattoos. They capped it off with Tony Hawk singing Superman. It was fucking cool. I wish games would do this more

Abbot and Costello 7 goes into 28.

So not only are we homeless but virgins, cool. We're going fate route, the 3 of you fight each other to the death or give up, for a wish with no drawbacks, you get to have a figure from history as your champion who would you pick, yes oppenheimer would have a nuke available because that's what he's known for.

guy with Average sized penis

Hello cringe gay cum, somefatguy and Kingston Jonah Jameson, what are your favourite videos from the other hosts of the snark tank

The homeless cat that Shane Dawson impregnated

Hallo educated black man, musical black man and Puerto Rican who makes music that hits too close. How would you three handle waking up with each others genitalia each morning and only the original owner having any sensation of what happens? For example: Chris wakes up one morning with Sweens and decides to get a Prince Albert. Chris'll feel nothing, but Sweens will get the full experience.

I ask The Rock for his autograph, I told him my name is Derrick Blackman, He death grip my balls and said It's about dick

Sup Cafe con leche, Pocillo and Americano. My question is for Sween and Pilot, since you're both black I assume you're both into fighting games. If you had the ability to flawlessly perform any fighting game grapple move which will it be? I would do the MK3 Jax's GOTCHA grapple, because it would be funny picking up anyone bigger than me and just punching them in the forehead

Haggis

Greetings Black, Semi Black and Black by Association. And congratulations, you've been given supreme right to discontinue any holiday for a Snark Tank holiday. How should this one be celebrated, and what holiday are you getting rid off?

Anonymous

Hey there Front of the bus, Back of the bus and Backer of the bus. In honor of Black History Month, if you could plant crack on any person (real or fictional) who would it be? Yes they will beat by the police.

Peenie Hisman

Hello Fellow Fingernaggits!!! Any show you lads have been into recently? Me personally I binged Blue Eye Samurai...good twist on a samurai revenge story

My dick fell off

When is Colin coming on the podcast to defend himself on how winnie the pooh-ing is normal and for him to take over as host for an episode.

TomTomOurLord

Hey Gay, Gayer, and Gayest. With Tekken 8s release I had a simple question for you beautiful boys. Who are some of your favorite fighting game characters? Mine personally are Captain America (MvC) and Bardock (DBFZ)

GreyGhost

Happy black history month except Chris. Have you ever considered asking viewers questions and reading/reacting the their stories for an extra ammo. Could really make fun of all your homeless supporters.

La Raza

what are some of your favorite viewer names / question openers you have read. I'm too lazy to come up with my own.

Anonymous

Simple Question. How many 8 year olds can you take in a fight (no weapons, straight fisticuffs)?

Darth Dumbass

Hey intelligent gentleman and Sween, when was the angriest you’ve ever been, and what caused it?

PechenegXVII

Sup fuckers, while on a plane I thought of this, can you take a shit on a plane? My body REFUSED to and am reaping what i sow.

Anonymous

Hey asshats, I just got suspended from college and detained by police. What should I do with my life now? I need advice for real. Sincerely, one of your 3 female fans.

Oof ow my balls they hurt so bad

Hello disembodied voices that haunt my nightmares. Long time listener and first time homeless person here. Since it's Keith David history month, I wanted to ask; If you could horribly miscast him into any role for comedic effect, what would it be? Personally, I think hearing him voice someone like Frieza would be just the right amount of wrong.

FullMetal McCoy

Sup black dudes and white? Can you tell me what Sweeney actually does outside of the podcast? I know he went to nursing school, worked at Starbucks, and was filmed by Chris for rent money but don’t hear much outside of that. I’m not sure if Digimon card game is a career but what do I know….. Thanks and keep that ass tight.

Cumming kidney stones like a machine gun

Hello Fat, skinny, and blob, If you could remote control one human being for 24 hours who would you pick and what would you do? Personally I would take control of a random zoo keeper and see how many animals I could beat to death before being eaten.

The Talibum

What character from the Gears of War universe, is most likely to be a pedophile?

Large biscuit maximum joy

Hello trifecta of gay. What’s the best insult y’all have ever come up with and used? Or even worst?

Scooped James

Hello slurs I can't say. What's a fun game/ movie/ etc that you really liked but got a tepid response? For me it was Saints Row 4.

Anonymous

Good morrow Trent Williams, Rafael Devers and Logic. My question is simple. Would you rather eat nothing but British food for the rest of your life or have your body randomly morph to a different height and weight every day?

Judahwong Ni-ni-NAHHHH

What’s up Tony, Toni and Toné. Pretty simple question for now but I remember one of yall talking about YouTube poops. So with that in mind what’s your favorite. For me it’s either the sky had a weegie or the non-credibles that emp lemon made centuries ago. Stay sexy and cool

Eskimo Joe

Hello you beautiful character-creator skin-tone-slider boys. This question is for Chris. What made you realize you had ADHD at this age? I myself was diagnosed at age 26 and honestly it was the Tik Tok algorythm that kept pulling me back on ADHD-tok. Looking back at my life after the diagnosis, I was honestly baffled no one noticed it earlier. Best regards, your only eskimo listener, probably.

Anonymous

Sween’s worst argument that he realized later he was dead wrong about? Cheers

Anonymous

Hey Chris, sween, and guy! If you could re-design the logo of any major corporation, what would it be? Keep up the great work please!

Chris's alarmingly small nipples

Hello Paramore, Jinja, and Michelle Obama Why do we focus on bad games so much? I've seen so much coverage and gameplay of Gollum and The Day Before, but not nearly as much for some of the fantastic games we've had like Spider-Man 2 and Hi-Fi Rush. Why do you think we fixate on these bad games, when there are so many good ones?

Captain Sensible

Which is worse: seeing the nude ghost of Benjamin Franklin in your periphery at all times, or having to wear a fursuit with a pregnancy belly and a diaper every time you have to interact with another person?

dort snort

hello brothers and raygun If Martin Luther king jr and every civil rights leader came back too life how do you think they would feel? What would they do? How fast do they get Assassinated.

JTheStrange

Dear Dick Gay Cum, Cum Sweeney & Some Black Cock Has there ever been a piece of cut video game content that you think would have be great to see or made any games better? (Btw, been listening since ep. 0 with Zach to where I could remember the month long wait between episodes super early on but, I'm still happy to still listen)

Anonymous

Sup Snark Dudes. Tired of these insulting, demeaning ass comments and wanna instead say, hope everything in your lives is going well and only continues to get better! Heard y’all mentioning exercise more frequently so it made wonder what some of your biggest gym pet peeves are. Mine’s the classic mother fucker who slams the weight and screams for absolutely no reason. Keep grinding boyos.

Anonymous

Hey Kanker Sisters, what's a video you've made or been a part of that you would despise to sit down and watch with your parents?

Anonymous

Hey fellas, I have a question for sween. Have you ever had a moment where you wanted to beat up your opponent (a child lets be real here its digimon ffs) In digimon

DevinIsPregnant

Good day our schizo demons, You wake up tomorrow and learn that 100% verified (photos and all) you were on Epstein's Island, and even shook his hand. What is your plan? (No, you can't unalive yourself.)

GEARSxWARRIOR

Would the gay band name for System of a Down be “Dick Some Niggas Down”?

BigUglyJordan

Hello you swarthy minorities, what two people would you replace Trump and Biden with on the 2024 ballot? You can also choose their VPs.

Ghost of mama JF

Hello to the 2 boys that I give the Fag pass and Sween! Have you heard the song Every Where I Go by Hollywood Undead? the song is already pretty gay as hell and the name Thomas Sweeny is in the chorus. Later boys!

Damien Sawyers

You guys mentioned the live action Scooby Doo movie and Sugar Gay on episode #204 and the band shows up in that movie, just surprised you guys didn't make the connection

Groggy

Hello penis boys, I have a simple question, if you were to have a wild animal as a pet, which would you pick?

Captain Sensible

Hypothetical question related to Suicide Squad: Chris, how would you have felt if you got to the fourth or fifth Halo game and suddenly Chief was a brainwashed villain you have to permanently kill, with no hopes of saving?

Nazeem's bald head

Hey fellas, since you've brought up Skyrim the past few episodes I thought I'd let you know theres lots of popular modpacks for the game now. There's an app called "Wabbajack" that can automatically install a modlist that's fully set up and ready to go. It's super worth doing for a new playthrough and can literally make the game a new experience. The one I'm playing with is literally over 1500 mods. Some good ones to look at first would be Nordic Souls and Living Skyrim 4 (def check out the vids on that one), but you can find all of them on the wabbajack website and give them all a gander :)

ManOfAction

New patron here, been watching you guys ever since I crawled out of the womb. For my question, imagine you are the devil and your tasked with creating a thematic Punishment for your 2 co-hosts after they've been sent to hell for their numerous sins. What Punishment would you give them? Personally I would boil Chris with radiation while forcing him to listen to radioactive, make Sweeny murder people from his life while feeling all their pain, because he has so much empathy and have Derrick be fucked by an army of gay men for his numerous gay parodies. Have Fun!

Anonymous

What, one change, would you make to a disliked game that would get you to start playing it?

Patrick, hit em with that autistic flow!

Hey boys Other than Run The Jewels or Tech N9ne the only time I really interact with rap is diss track season. Have yall seen the Benzino/ Eminem beef?

Hearse song andthedicksgoinandthedicksgoout

Hey Chris please talk more about that new Green Day album I think one eyed bastard is great but when I found out that the riff wasn’t supposed to be a pink sample I got really disappointed for some reason. Like it’s just crazy for me to believe that they accidentally remade “so what” unintentionally

Cocky Bowel-boa vs A-Penis Peed

With live service games being ever so persistent, what would a live service game about the Snark Tank feature? Like gameplay, story, etc.?

Patrick, hit em with that autistic flow!

Hey Boys Slip Maker on YT just made a retrospective on Mr Robot(haven't watched it yet) but the intro to his video has a what sounds to me like a kalimba cover of Basket Case. Just keeping the Greenday talk alive I guess. Apparently the show is a long form take on Fight Club

Hispanic Clone Trooper

Hey snark boiss. Since gangsta quest is Derrick's dream game, if Chris and sween could make a video game what would it be about? Alternatively, what would a snark tank video game look like?

Hyperbolic Cum Chamber

Hey cum knight, cum thief, and coomer wizard What would be more useful in your daily life, having four arms, a tail, or wings? Have a great day everybody

Griffithonathanathaniel

Howdy boys, You each get to remove one genre of person (furry, cryptobro, grifter, reddit mod, etc); they don’t die or anything, they just stop being like that and no else becomes like that. Who are you fixing?

That_One_Furry

Hey master chief, arbiter, and sergeant long-Johnson, What's something that you liked as a kid and can never see yourself liking again? I use to watch damn near half of those garbage syfi originals. (The movies like sharknado)

Anonymous

Hey baby boys, Just saw Rise Against on tour for the first time and honestly have it say its been my favourite concert experience of all time. Completely blew me away and the indifferent friend I dragged along has now been converted to a full believer. My question is this, what show (or event) have you been dragged to that you were not interest in, but ended up being a huge fan of.

Anonymous

What's up Mario Judah, Luigi Judah and Waluigi Judah. For the music boys, what was (or is) the hardest part about learning an instrument for you and how'd you overcome it? Also was there anything you found was easy?

Stratman

Sup Big bear, Mouse and Honey Badger. Favourite goblin punk band 'Friend' just dropped an album so my question is, What is some music you have been enjoying lately? Basic ass question but I like the funny ear vibrations.

FrankenTubbie

hello small, medium and big threat I need your guys incite on this topic, is it weirder to own a pocket pussy, full body sex doll or one those things where its just the thighs to the waist fuck doll i think if you own the last one you're a decrepit creature that only hunts for the scent of fermenting pheromones', the other two I can understand depending how lost you are in life

Dr. Rococknik’s Obscene Peen Machine

How’s it going my favourite reprobates? Due to an unbelievable clerical error, the Snark Tank has been granted entry to the Macy’s parade. Not only this, they have said it is up to you to design your parade float/balloon. What the fuck are you three going to slap onto this shit to no doubt traumatise an entire generation of impressionable youths? Thanks for keeping me sane guys.

Anonymous

Hey SpongeRobert, BubbleBasstard and Laurence the Lobster. Is there any piece of media that you could make a few small tweaks to to change the public's reception? For example, I think Halo 5 would have been way better received without the Halo branding all over it. Thanks for the belly laughs fellas

3 inches is a lot right now, thanks Trump Shooter

Hey there subterranean creatures. In the scenario that both of your co-hosts becomes corrupted by yoo-hoo, what Batman-esque contingency plans would you enact to stop them? Thank you all for keeping me entertained at work.

Michael Basketball Jordan Basketball Peterson

When some form of unreleased media really catches your eye, are you more likely to avoid any and all spoilers relating to it. Or do you watch every trailer/keep up with developer updates. And does this change depending on type of media(story heavy video games, non-story heavy video games, movies, albums, ect). as always thanks for the laughs

Drake Kincannon

Hello 3 pieces of dogshit I scraped off of my boot this morning. Both celebrities that go by my first name are partially known for liking their women a little too much on the younger side. Those being Drake Bell and That Gay Rapper. So now to my question. Who is your least favorite celebrity who goes by your first names?

Cocky Bowel-boa vs A-Penis Peed

With you guys constantly mentioning the Gears of War Trilogy the question must be asked, thoughts on Gears 4 & 5?

The depressed Minnesota man

Hello man who is always right, man who is never wrong, and Kingston. What’s the best way to acquire an audience on twitch when starting from zero? Any tips and tricks to it or is it just to purely stick to it? Thank you for whatever non answer you give and the diatribe that’ll probably follow.

randeep kang

csn u improv trump getting lost in the brooklyn junnels

A half-black, half-Vietnamese person named Bich Nga

Greetings, In your youth, have you ever been called an homophobic slur for liking something? I was called a F-slur for liking the colour purple in my early to late teens (I'm a year younger than Derrick, you must remember how being a teen was in the early 2000s). I still do love the colour purple and I'm straight. What are your stories? Have a good one!

Abbot and Costello 7 goes into 28.

Idea for an Xtra ammo tangent, look up jojo music references and enjoy the absurdities of the characters and powers.

Cyrus Fisher

What up Long, Dong, and Silver? What’s a disrespectful sexual act, real or not, that cracks you up every time you think about it? Mine is something called the “Sloppy Jalopy”. It’s when you’re clapping some cheeks from behind, pull out to bust in your hand, then smack them in the face with it. P.S. Snark Tank drinking game: Take a shot every time Sween says “What happens is this”.

Anonymous

Hello Chris White Gun, White Sweeney, and Derrick Whiteman, just wondering if you’ve ever seen the Adult Swim show Xavier Renegade Angel? It seems like the shows humor might be right up your alley.

My dick fell off

Drake the type of mf to get his meat leaked

Freddie your biggest fan

Hello my dearest friends your biggest fan here If your girlfriend was stuck inside your mum's body And your mum was stuck in your girlfriend's body. Any way to save their lives was to have sex with one of them. Who would it be Lots of love P.s you can't kill yourself :)

Anonymous

Hello it’s cant smell guy. They/them by the way. To elaborate, I cannot smell completely, not partially, however I was not born like this and I could smell earlier in my life, so I have a memory of what things smell like even though I can’t actually smell them. Sometimes just going about my day I smell random scents that no one else can, leading me to believe that their not actually there and it’s just my brain doing weird shit. Also sween being so aggressive makes him being wrong 10x funnier

Anonymous

Sweeny, shut up about the whole "well I read comics, so..." Seriously, just let people have opinions. They're graphic novels, not rule books. Fans like you take the fun away from the point of comics.

Madbot

Have you watched the leprechaun movies? How would you prevent the leprechaun from killing you?

Private Private's Privates

Dear Snark Bois, As people who are terminally online for work, is it strange when fans immediately reply to your social media/video posts or are you flattered by the engagement? Keep polluting the airwaves!

semz

Music question for ya, if you could bring back one genre of music that is past it's prime, what would it be? And also if you could erase one genre from existence which would it be?

The snark tanks favorite wrestler

Hey fellers (With a hard R) If you had to make up a rumor about a celebrity and the public would instantaneously believe it what would it be and whose life would you ruin?

'Go your own gay' by Fleetwood Mac

Hey cunts, just thought I'd let you know sween's full of shit. (Most) Blind people can hallucinate visuals there's been studies and all. Just 'cause a person's eyes are fucked doesn't mean that the vision centre of the brain stops doing stuff you fucking bozo, dipshit, dogfish

Demon Days and Discovery (Daft Punk) are the some of the best and most influential albums of the 2000s prove me wrong

Hello ethnic Oreo, not a question, but I wanted to point this out because I found it amusing. Last episode, Chris mentioned how Blur created Song 02 to parody Nirvana and it accidentally ended up becoming a hit, and funny enough, this is actually only one of three times this happened to this group. Blur frontman Damon Albarn found the manufactured nature of pop rock groups in the early 2000s so egregious that he and his roommate at the time put everything they had into creating a fictional alt rock band that was literally manufactured. This evolved into what we now know as: Gorillaz.

Nicholas Brilhart

In a "Disney Channel's The Luck of the Irish" style scenario, what would be the worst fantasy race/species to turn into in highschool?

Jewish Sopranos be like Shabbatabing

Dearest retards, If you could pit two fictional armies against each other what side do you think would come out on top? My pick would be the Gungan army from Star Wars episode one against the demons from Doom Eternal.

Haggis

Salutations Good, Bad and Kingston. If the Snark Boys were a trio of villains on a Saturday morning cartoon, what would your evil plans revolve around and who would be your arch-nemesis? Stay moist and smooth.

let derreck read the names you tyrant

as someone who lives in Seattle, i can immediately tell who is a disgusting California transplant whenever they talk about our glorious interstate I-5 and call it "the five." my question is, what is a dead giveaway that someone is a transplant from cali/NY/wherever? thank you boys, have a mediocre day

Big Uncle Fungus

Sup Snorklers, I have a simple hypothetical for you today. How much more would you watch sports if the players were forced to wear early 360 era low quality headsets in an open mic lobby and were payed based on how good they could shit talk each other? I for one think Nascar would be infinitely entertaining if you could hear old southern white dudes use the n word with reckless abandon. Stay Classy.

The Nightman

What is up my goofy goobers, who's the strongest fictional character you think you could beat in a fist fight? I'd say for me it would be close but I could probably beat Caillou's dad

Papa_Gzeus

What's good you handsome homos? Since you talked about Julia Louis-Dryfus recently, it got me thinking: who are some other, older celebrities that you think have aged like fine wine? Personally I find it odd that people don't mention Sade Adu when this topic comes up because that woman is in her 60s and is still an absolute dime. Alternatively, who is the oldest celebrity that you'd give the shmeat slam to?

Abbot and Costello 7 goes into 28.

Final question for the month, for Sweeney because Chris or Derrick will be mental and try to defend it, thoughts on xbox dying before our eyes,Chris xbox platform death is happening the moment hi fi rush and gears goes cross platform.

Anonymous

Hello Hibria, The Front Bottoms and, Russ. Artist suggestions to Derick, Chis and , Sween respectably. My question: with all the appreciation for female characters, it seems only fair to ask who is the most attractive male character in media to you guys. Specifically attractive doesn't have to be your favorite, coolest or, strongest

Dylan Lives

Listening to ep 204, no question, just telling Chris that Prototype blows, it's nothing that controls poorly. Best game in that genre is Saints Row 4

Patrick, hit em with that autistic flow! (edited)

Comment edits

2024-02-12 07:38:10 Hey boys Any of yall read Dog N****? Also if you like sci-fi that questions what it means to be human I highly highly reccoment Pluto or literally anything written by Urasawa.
2024-02-10 00:30:36 Hey boys Any of yall read Dog N****? If not please just read the description. Also if you like sci-fi that questions what it means to be human I highly highly reccoment Pluto or literally anything written by Urasawa.

Hey boys Any of yall read Dog N****? If not please just read the description. Also if you like sci-fi that questions what it means to be human I highly highly reccoment Pluto or literally anything written by Urasawa.

Madbot

If you could remove one invention from history or change when something was as invented, what would you remove or change it's time of inventing what would you change?

A gay grim reaper called the rim reaper

Hello white person at birth, black person at birth, and white person by choice. Would you rather Have every person in the world look like you (ethnic and sex features and body changes, but they still look like you). Or would you rather change into a random person at 12 EST (only thing that remains constant is your body built).

SayHelloToMyLittleSchwing

Hello twink, bear and... middleman, I guess? I'm not up on my gay vocab. Which one of you would you say is most likely to punt a newborn baby through a plate glass window for a million dollars? Also thank you boys for making me look like an insane person to my coworkers as I laugh my butt off while demolishing walls (i do construction on the side of my full time job, being homeless), you guys are genuinely the best. Kind regards, an inconsolable Like a Dragon fan.

Michael Basketball Jordan Basketball Peterson

What is the most unlikely bit of media that made you shed tiers. Mine is listening to a live performance of linkin park performing crawling with Chris Cornell. It got me because Chester and Chris were best friends, and Chris unfortunately killed himself, and then Chester killed himself a few months later on Chris’s birthday

randeep kang

opinions on Vaush and the goblins loli porn he got leaked to everyone

Anonymous

Hey guys, just wanted to let you know I finally got my girlfriend to agree to listen to the podcast in the car. The first thing she hears is Vince McMahon's text messages, she now thinks I'm a psycho so that's for that.

BussyTV

Hey, snarks and Fat Albert. I'm so grateful for your stupid lil antics as it helps me endure my current job was a Shopping cart boy. My question is, do yous ever sit around and seek intentionally bad movies for fun? My friends and I are can't get over a movie we watched called "Evil tapes" it's hilarious and completely horseshit Hope yall are doing well and have a great February!

Norwegian gamedev, fucking the homeless to sleep

Hello there human scum, the worst thing to happen to the Caribbeans and las vegas shame! I heard Chris mention Remnant 2 on a recent episode and wondered if all of you have played it, as well as what you think about the game?

Cogito Ergo Cum (I think therefore I cum)

Hello Black-Puerto Rican Venn Diagram. I have been watching and letting you all corrupt my mind since middle school and I am going to graduate in the spring. Could you please give me a senior quote I could use?

Anonymous

Not a question but on a recent episode yall talked about drugged candy and it's mostly an urban legend used to scare people and disconnect communities but back in 1974 a man named Ronald Clark O'Bryan tried to kill his own kid for insurance money. He went to jail cause he gave his daughter, and three other kids, a giant pixie stix. He's known as the Man who killed Halloween

Red Head Redemption

Hey Puerto Rican King, Some Black King, and loser who doesn’t like eating pussy. Would you rather smell every fart ever farted in history wherever you go(no gas masks will save you) or everything you eat and drink looks and tastes like cum and its form is correct to the food it is I.e. a glass of cum, a seared gelatinous cum, cum gelato, etc… And if you choose death it’s either every fart in history blown in your face at once or lethal semen injection or cum firing squad. Thanks and be well, homies.

The power of your penis in the palm of my hand

Hello White Hispanic, Black Hispanic, and Notspanic... you might've already discussed Trump's fightinf game moveset, but what about other presidents? For example, the Obama drone strike finisher or the Bush shoe dodge. Thank you for the very wholesome show.

sandwich

Hello Dark Council and Chris. I come today to ask Derrick and Sweeney, what percentage of Black does a person have to be to be awarded the Lifetime Pass. For context I am 40% Indian, 30% Irish, and 30% Black, and my Black friends tell me this is enough to be allowed to say it, while I personally disagree, thoughts?

YoungJedi772

Hello Negrazoids and your little twinkish white familiar. Experiencing true heartbreak at almost 18 and im absolutely lost. Any tips? (Sweeney You can’t kill yourself)

Fine erectrify mine ,erectrify my homo cock

Hey dumb , dumber, and Sweeney. What’s the weirdest shit you’ve seen happen in a public restroom? When I was 12 I had to use the Stater Brothers bathroom and there was a guy in the stall banging his hands against the wall while screaming “ little birdie” it freaked me out so much I ran out.

Mikey

Hello zookeeper and monkeys , this question is for Chris, how do you keep your self cool calm & collected when Sweeney interrupts you every 2 minutes and constantly butts in or steals a joke that you are about to make? I struggle not hitting my wife when she does the same to me, please give me some advice. Much love

guy with Average sized penis

Hello cringe gay cum, somefatguy and Kingston Jonah Jameson, what are your favourite videos from the other hosts of the snark tank

Obi Won't'cha Blow Me

Hello all, if you were blessed/cursed with immortality without your knowledge how old do you think you would be before your realised/suspected you were immortal. To be clear, not when you realise you're aging REALLY well, but when you realise you are immortal.

Hyperbolic Cum Chamber

What’s up Shadow Wizard Money Gang, Space Goblin, and The King of Futas Do you guys adore JK Simmons as much as Keith David?

Anonymous

Hello my shenegros what would you do if you found your significant other poking holes in condoms or otherwise tampering with birth control

DevinIsPregnant

Hello schizo demons, If Keith David shows up on the podcast, that is legally your last episode. What would be your individual plans post-Snark Tank?

Anonymous

Hey two balls and shaft (take your pick on who’s who). If there were magically no consequences to your actions, what are some of the most fucked up pranks you would pull on people? I really want to release a Huntsman spider into an office space or something similar.

Anonymous

Hello you distinguished "gentleman" , wanted to bring some love to Bioshock. What do you Boyz think made this game so fucking incredible and why haven't there been games like it? Side note, do you think Judas can bring this magic back?

TanTanTheTanMan

Greetings Firearm, Sweeney Todd, and Certain Melinated Individual. Been listening since Episode 0 but only recently had enough money to waste on you goofy goobers. If you guys had to make a new slur, which word would you choose and why? Mine would be studdard, cause it sounds like a slur for fat people and it makes me laugh. Thanks for all the laughs and special thank you to Derrick for always liking my tweets when I @ you guys. You a real one.

Anonymous

Hey what’s up small, smaller, and big talentless bitch. What the hell is keeping Sweeney from perusing genuine passions that don’t involve Digimon Cards?

Anonymous

Hallo Kristoff Strahlenpistole, Thomas Schweini und Der Reck Schwarzmann. As my government mandated participation I'd like each of you to come up with a Wrestling Persona. Your name, your signature move, the theme that plays when you enter the ring and if you're a heel or a babyface is all up to you. As an example I have created THE RAT KING; A naked man save for a pair of track pants and a bucket on his head, he doesnt speak a word and gets eaten alive screaming by a swarm of rats after each match.

Anonymous

The reason jideon never posted the EDP catch video, is because he's a born again Christian (plz check his channel).

Cocky Bowel-boa vs A-Penis Peed

Hello Fat Bob Marley, Hot Buddy Holly, and Visable Stevie Wonder. Question, in a Bio-Pic movie about the Snark Tank who would be the Main Character, Secondary Character, and Antagonist?

BE GAY KHALED

Hey snark boys, my question is this: have you ever heard Neil Druckmans wild explanation as to how the Israel/Palestine conflict inspired the last of us 2? It's pretty fucked but I couldn't help but laugh at how outlandish his takes were. Be well boys. Keep gaying it up.

Anonymous

Not a question, just wanted to state that even though i agree people trying to force people to use a character their secrete identity is weird, i think using the green lanterns as a name as an example since its a organization, with many named members outside of hal and john, like how the plumbers or men in black are also organizations, its just we follow the more important ones in the story

I wore my 3 sween moon shirt for a mothers day party and got weird looks for some reason

Hey y’all, not a question but a story. In the twomad episode, Chris mentioned his lost remote and Derrick brought up his glasses which you guys haven’t found for some bizarre reason or another. The same thing happened to me while I was building my brothers PC. I needed to remove and replace the motherboard’s lithium battery (to manually reset it) and in doing so, the part that holds the battery didn’t lock properly and flung the battery past my face and towards the wall… but it didn’t make any noise, wasn’t anywhere in the nearly empty dining room, and still haven’t found it (I had to use a spare battery out of frustration)

Ghost of mama JF

Heyy bitches, I have a baseball bat signed by the entire 2011 Colorado Rockies team and haven’t sold it because I’d think it’d be funny to assault an intruder with it. You guys got anything like that?

better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum

Greetings boys, I have filled my brain with all 400 plus hours of this dumb ass podcast and now that I have enough money to ask questions I just have one. Which one of the snark tank spinoffs is your favorite? Chris and Sweeney, Derek and Sweeney (the dark tank) or Chris and derek. Personally I love the Sweeney and Chris cast, without Derek's grounding presence Sweeney and Chris are unchained to go off in the most wild directions. But my absolute favorite would be that one time everything broke and Chris was forced to do the last half of the podcast by himself like a schizo.

Snapple Owns Yoohoo

Greetings boys. What's the worst thing you've ever participated in during middle school? For me, it was when during a large nerf battle at our church's youth group, one of the kids had a mental breakdown and began to walk in a big loop around the building and was unresponsive. Nobody asked if he was okay, not even the church members running the event. Some of us battled around him like a payload cart in TF2.

Colandros sucks toes

Hello gang! First time patreon, long time viewer since episode 0. My question to you guys: any funny stories when smoking the devil's lettuce? I smoked for the first time at my buddies place. After the session, I constantly said, "I love you" to my girlfriend when I came home.

Papa_Gzeus

Not a question, but a fun fact; there's an album on bandcamp called "my dick" which is just a double-length album where a guy lazily covers a bunch of popular songs but replaces a bunch of the lyrics with "my dick", and the effort gets significantly lazier as the album goes on. Just thought you boys would appreciate this info

Anonymous

Sup Gaycial Profilers - Personify your favorite patron names and pit them against each other (neutral stage battle royale). What is Cum man, the man of cum's appearance and abilities? How does he fair against Joe Biden unleashing his gaping maw to suck the melanin out of any black personality who didn't vote for him? But can they be fended off by Two fetuses tied together and used as nunchucks? Presumably the King of Haphazard is the ultimate victor, but how? What is his lore? Etc etc