So Long And Thanks For All The Spinach (Short Story, Popeye) (Patreon)

So Long And Thanks For All The Spinach

Written By SteeleBlazer

As Popeye fought valiantly against the dastardly brute Bluto, the brutish villain seemed to grow even more powerful with each punch and kick. Popeye was no slouch, but even his mighty muscles were no match for the strength of Bluto. Who was wearing Popeye down with each and every punch he landed.

Popeye reared and throw a tremendous haymaker, a punch that would knockout most men, but it was slow and sloppily and Bluto just ducked under the looping punch. Connecting only with air itself sent Popeye spinning around in circles like a drunken top and when he stopped spinning it was Bluto’s fist that connected with his face.

“WHAM! The punch sounded like dynamite and felt just as powerful.

“CRACK! BOOM! KA-POW!” Bluto wasn’t done bringing the thunder and while Popeye had a strong jaw, his knees were starting to get that wobbly rubbery feeling and he knew he couldn’t take much more punishment from the pulverizing hands of Bluto. He knew he had to use his secret weapon to give himself the advantage.

It was “Spinach Time!”

With a mighty roar, Popeye reached for his trusty can of spinach, ready to unleash its power and turn the tide of the battle. But no sooner had he squeezed open and popped off the can’s lid, did Bluto bash it out of his hand and sent it rolling across the ground. Rolling itself out of Popeye’s reach and unlucky enough, not quite close enough for Olive Oyl.

Olive Oyl really could use some help and rescuing as she was tied to the railroad tracks and it just didn’t seem to be her lucky day as a train was bearing down on her. She could only watch in desperation as the can of spinach rolled just out of her reach. She screamed for Popeye to help her, but he was too busy trading blows with Bluto to notice or too help.

They were supposed to be fighting over her, what good would she be to any of them if she was dead! She was livid with them, she was angry, upset, and most importantly she was afraid because there was a train coming to run her over!

She cried out and she screamed and she screamed, and she cried and she cried. But, no help was coming, but the train sure was, and second by second it was coming closer and closer. She knew she needed to calm down and think… So she took a deep breath and calmed down, and that’s when the answer came to her. With no other options, Olive took a really, really, really deep breath. So deep, she sucked in the spinach right out can and into her mouth.

As she chewed on and swallowed the green superfood, she felt its power starting to spread and flow through her body. As the spinach coursed through her veins, she could feel her muscles growing and expanding, becoming stronger and more powerful than she ever thought possible. Bigger and bigger she grew, her spindly arms growing dense and thick. Her biceps bulging and her chest heaving with the power of the spinach. Soon her arms grew thicker than even Popeye’s muscular forearms, and it wasn’t long before Olive Oyl chest swelled to be just as big, if not bigger than Bluto’s, with shoulders just as wide if once again if not even wider.

With her newfound strength, Olive snapped the ropes that bound her and leapt to her feet. She had gotten to her feet just in the nick of time and with the Locomotive bearing down on her she had no time to get away. However, thanks to the power from the can of mighty spinach, she had mighty female muscles and she knew how to use them. She reached out with her hands to stop the train, and using those mighty female muscles she was able to stop the train in its tracks. Her incredible strength was so incredible the steel framed locomotive buckled and crumpled under her might, it’s wheels shrieking and grinding to a halt mere inches from her toes.

Impressed with herself Olive gave her muscles a flex, and they bulged up out of her arm like a pair of explosions, in fact she liked to imagine that with those flexes, she saw bundle of TNT explode on those bulging biceps of hers.

“Ka-Boom!” They went and seeing those two boys still fighting over her, she decided she should go over and join them, and remind them what they’re fighting over.

Dusting herself off, Olive strode towards the boys, who were still locked in combat trading blow after blow. Bluto was about to punch Popeye in the face, but Olive intervened, grabbing Bluto's wrist and twisting it until it snapped with a sickening crack. Bluto howled in pain as Olive pounded him with powerful punches, each one sending him staggering backwards.

She hit him with a left, and then a right, and then a left and right, over and over again, her flurry of punches fierce and forcing the strongman back step by step. With a final, mighty haymaker, Olive sent Bluto flying into the side of the train, where he crumpled to the ground in defeat. The side of the train crumpled along with him and looked almost as depressed and dejected as what Bluto as surely and certainly felt himself. Provided he could feel anything except that broken jaw of his.

Popeye, impressed by Olive's sudden display of strength, watched in amazement as she flexed her biceps and struck a series of impressive poses. With each flex, a mighty "BOOM" echoed through the air, adding to the drama of the moment.

All Popeye could say at such an impressive sight was, “Well blow me down!”

Olive just laughed and fluttered her eyebrows at Popeye, as she asked him in her high pitched voice, if she was getting too muscular… Only her voice wasn’t as high pitched or grating, but it had a nice sensual deepness to it. Olive liked the way her new voice sounded, just like how she liked her new muscular body, and by the way Popeye was holding his sailor cap in front of him he liked it too.

He quickly reassured her that she looked "purdy" indeed.

And Olive laughed and giggled and kept on flexing for Popeye, saying to him, “Is that a can of spinach in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

And to her surprise Popeye actually pulled out another can of spinach, and he said, “It’s a cans of me spinach…”

Olive made a face at Popeye, he was sure thickheaded, and then she declared that from now on, she would be the one eating all the spinach. But, she winked at Popeye, and told him she had something better for him to eat.

Popeye protested, but Olive wasn't having any of it. She gave him a quick one, two, followed by a three four, and even a five, six, seven, and eight! She got all the up to the number twenty. She just really let loose with a flurry of punches, knocking Popeye around like a rag doll. She used his head as it sprung and bounced back and forth from her pummeling punches as if it were just a speedbag, and over and over she hit it, re-arranging his face and smile with each and every punch.

It really was a good thing Popeye really was that thickheaded!

“WHAM! BAM!” and thank you ma’am the punches sounded off!

Popeye tried to stop her, but he couldn’t.

He tried to plead with her, but she smacked the words back into his mouth with her punches. Literally!

As the words for, “Stop, Please, Quit, Hitting, Me,” all floated out of his mouth one by one, and one by one they were sent back into his mouth, driven back into it by Olive’s devastating fists.

He choked on his words, as he was choking on Olive’s punches, and trust me, this was a punch no one would ever want to drink. He had no choice; he had to use his spinach. It was right there in his hand. So he gave that can a squeeze, and the spinach burst out of the can, and shot up high straight into the air. He opened his mouth expecting to catch the spinach inside it, but instead he caught another of Olive’s punches, this one in the flavor of an uppercut and it sent him high up in the air after the spinach.

In its wake he followed and he tried with his mouth to grab a bite or two of the spinach as they crossed paths, with him being on the way up still and the spinach being on the way down, but he only tasted air. Olive Oly now standing directly under the falling spinach opened her mouth, and she once again tasted and swallowed that wonderful green super food. As she was savoring its savory powerful flavor, Popeye crashed to ground and swallowed a mouthful of dirt.

Olive flexed once again and her whole body swelled with immense power. She kicked Popeye over onto his back, and then stepping on his toes, she brought his skinny rigid frame back up onto his feet. Over and over again she blasted him with her punches, his body bopping up and down, and thanks to her foot standing on his feet, he kept springing back up for more and more punches.

With a final, vicious slobber-knocker, Olive sent Popeye flying into Bluto, who was still lying on the ground in a daze. Yet again another can of spinach rolled out of Popeye's pockets and came to rest at his feet. Olive just frowned, for a moment she actually thought Popeye was enjoying the beating she gave to him. But then she just shrugged and flexed her muscles and decided she enjoyed it, and that’s all that really matters.

As Popeye struggled to his feet, it seems like he was trying to reach the can of spinach that lay just beyond his reach, Olive Oyl flicked him with just a single finger, sending him crashing back down on top of Bluto. The big brute bellowed in anger, telling the "runt" to get off of him, but Popeye was too dazed to comply. And also truthfully with that broken jaw, no one really quite understood what he was saying anyway.

Olive picked up the can and decided she’d save it for later, and so she stuck it down deep into her bosom. And with a triumphant roar, Olive Oyl flexed her incredible muscles, each one rippling and pulsing with strength. She looked at Popeye and Bluto, who were still lying on the ground, and laughed. "Who's the strong one now, boys?" she asked, her voice booming like thunder.

“Fight over me all you like now, just don’t be surprised if I fight back!” She exclaimed and of course she punctuated her statement with a big, bulging flex, a flex that was bursting with power and swelled up larger than ever and the bicep literally exploded. The explosion detonating right there on her beefy bicep muscle and a mushroom cloud rose from her bicep and the smoke from the cloud slowly dissolved into the air.

Popeye and Bluto could only stare in amazement at Olive Oyl's incredible transformation. She was now stronger than both of them combined, and they knew that there was nothing they could do to stop her. Heck they both couldn’t even stand at the moment. And so defeated, and decimated, and now seemingly rejected and dejected, they were now discarded and disposed of as if they were just mere trash.

That’s because Olive Oyl has had enough of their fighting, and had enough of their bullying, and having given the boys a taste of their own medicine and a piece of her mind, along with plenty of her fists, she’s decided the only thing she didn’t have enough of was the savory taste of spinach.

With a final flex, she said so long to the boys and thanked Popeye for all the spinach. With that, Olive Oyl turned and strode away, leaving the boys in her wake. From that day on, she vowed to always eat her spinach and never be pushed around by anyone again.