How I Beat Superman in Arm Wrestling By Lois Lane (text story) (Patreon)

How I Beat Superman In Arm Wrestling - Without Kryptonite, Just My Mighty Female Muscles

By Lois Lane.

The headline alone will shock the world. But I assure all you dear readers it’s the absolute god honest truth. No, I didn't use kryptonite to beat the Man of Steel in an arm wrestling match. I used good old fashioned hard work, determination and of course my mighty female muscles- muscles that proved to be fair mightier than Superman’s!

Today was just an ordinary day for Superman as swaggered into the Daily Planet, he thought he was in store for another puff piece interview. This wasn’t going to be an easy interview for him, and I was determined to make it as difficult and hard on him as I could. He was in for a big surprise, and by that I mean of course my big brand new beefy and bulging muscles. He was walking about with his thick muscular chest all puffed out, cocky and confident that he wasn’t just the most powerful man in the world, but perhaps the entire universe. No sooner had we greeted one another is when I sprung my challenge on him and asked him to take me on in an arm-wrestling match.

It might come as no surprise that he initially laughed off my challenge, as he no doubt seemingly thought it silly that I could ever pose any kind of physical challenge to him. But he swallowed those laughs when I flexed one of my burly biceps. My massive muscles actually burst right out of my tight sleeve as I gave it a nice hard flex. I had worn a blouse with the sleeves way too tight just for this occasion and seeing the look of shock in his eyes as I flexed my arm and tore away my shirt’s sleeves was exactly the expression and reaction I was hoping for.

And his look of dumbfounded shock only grew as I brought up my other arm in a flex and that arm too ripped clean out of its sleeves, baring my unbridled- and now un-clothed arm muscles in all their naked muscular glory. And for all the readers out there, let me just tell you my arms weren’t just big. They were bigger than Superman’s. And by the way his mouth almost fell to the floor and his eyes almost popped out of that perfectly chiseled and devilishly handsome face of his, I knew he realized just how big I was.

Yet, he still didn’t realize how strong they were. In fact he still doubted that I could be any sort of challenge to him and his super powered superhero physique. He is Superman after all, and I’m just a woman. A woman he’s saved countless times. But, today I would not take no for an answer, and today he would be the one who needed saving from me. Yet, I wasn’t about to rescue him or let him escape from my arm-wrestling challenge.

And while he kept trying to laugh it off as some kind of a joke, I assured him my muscles were anything but a joke. And since my arms were clearly not just big, but bigger than his own, he had to agree with me that my hardbody muscular physique was nothing to laugh at. And I hope all you readers out there will also agree that perhaps the word “big” is really too small of a word to describe my muscles. After all, they are, way, way bigger than those of the powerful Man Of Steel’s muscles.

Which is why I like to say that I don’t just have big muscles, but I have mighty female muscles. And Superman was about to find out just how mighty they actually are, as he finally agreed to my challenge…

And while he might have laughed at my challenge, let me assure all you reading this article that as soon as we locked arms and started our arm-wrestling match that he was no longer laughing. I wish you all could have seen the surprise on his face when he realized that I wasn’t just strong, or even stronger than I looked, but that I was actually stronger than him. That’s right the mighty Superman tried to push my arm down, and failed.

I also want to assure all you readers that he’s not just a superman, but he’s also a gentleman, because he was so careful not to accidentally hurt me, that he tried to push my hand down as gently as possible. But when my arm would not budge, he soon realized that he would have to try harder if he wanted to win. Yet despite his best efforts and despite him being both a gentleman and a venerable superman, he could not budge that bulging arm of mine, as I was able to keep all his super strength in check.

It didn’t take long for him to realize that he was in for a real struggle, just as it didn’t take long for him to start pushing against my arm with all his superhuman might. He may have wanted to avoid hurting me by being a gentleman and as gentle as possible at first. But, when he failed to not only move my arm, but to be able to even budge it in the slightest, he quickly forgot all such pretense and worry about injuring me. But never fear dear reader, the great Superman despite all his vast strength and power, a strength and power that have moved mighty mountains themselves, could not move the mighty muscle mountain that is my arm, and the only injury that took place was to his pride.

His muscles strained as he pushed against mine, but my mighty female muscles held strong. I could see the veins popping in his arm and forehead as he struggled to move my arm even an inch. That’s right he was struggling so hard, that I could see the powerful vascular veins of his rise up and press hard against the iconic tight superhero suit of his. A suit that seemed to be almost painted on that incredibly buff and powerful muscular body of his. He really was a superman, but still despite all his otherworldly strength, he was no match for my mighty female muscles.

After a hard-fought battle.. For him anyway… I never really broke so much of a sweat, but his face was drenched and dripping with it. And while I never broke a sweat, as I slammed his hand onto the desk, victorious, I did break that desk. It nearly split in two from the impact of me slamming Superman’s hand down onto it and through it, but the real impact was felt by Superman’s ego, as I just beat him and completely overpowered him in an arm-wrestling match. He was completely overwhelmed, not just by my greater strength and power, but by the realization that I was no longer the helpless damsel, and that he was now helplessly so much weaker than me.

He came in for a puff piece, and this puff piece had just left him feeling deflated. While I was elated and I puffed out my great muscular chest, and the top buttons of my blouse flew off and hit him squarely on the face. I’ve seen bullets bounce off him and ricochet off doing no harm whatsoever to him and his impenetrable superhuman physique. While those buttons didn’t hurt him, they did bruise his ego, but they also gave him a wonderful view of my muscular bosom. And seeing the surprised look on his face as he took in my muscular beauty did wonders for boasting my own ego… Not that I really needed an ego boast, I did after all just defeated the most powerful man in the world, possibly the entire universe in an arm-wrestling match.

He was in shock and awe of not just my strength, but also my beauty.

And as shock and awe filled those pretty boyish blue eyes of his, he could only as manage a simple question.

"But how?" he gasped as he asked his question.

I flashed him a sly grin and told him. "A lady never reveals her secrets."

But the truth is, I might just share my secret… With some of the other women in his life. Who wouldn’t want to see Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Powergirl or any other of ladies of the Justice League empowered by my secret of muscular feminine might. Could you imagine an entire Justice League of us girls, each one of us with burly, brawny, bulging, mighty female muscles!

I’m not so sure you readers out there can imagine that. Just as I’m certain there are some of you out there reading this that cannot imagine that I Lois Lane intrepid lady reporter just beat Superman in an arm-wrestling match. But I can assure you on my honor and reputation as a world class reporter that what I just described happening is all truthful. Each and every word of it.

So look out world - there's a new superhero in town, and as you see me around fighting for truth and justice not just within these hallowed pages of the Daily Planet newspaper, but in the actual streets of Metropolis itself you won’t need to imagine it, as you’ll be seeing it with your very own eyes.

And let me just give all the evil doers out there a warning, my pen truly is mighty, far mightier than any sword, but nothing is mightier than my mighty female muscles. Not even Superman!