ALLCAPS COOKBOOK PRESENTS: Rainbow Glitter Star Crayons (Patreon)

Something a little different this month: please do not eat these!

Although they do look delicious.

Got a whole bunch of broken crayons lying around? If you have or live near a kid or are a visual artist of some kind, I know you do. 

They can have a new life! Bastian asked if I would make him iconic drag queen Yvie Oddly's crayon/crown dress and I said uhhhhhhh probably not though and it suddenly occurred to me that melting them down into fun color mix versions was totally a thing we could do using my candy molds and maybe he would forget the idea that I could whip him out a couture gown of an afternoon.

And they turned out AWESOME. The round ones arent so good to draw with but the star molds were genius--five points to draw with and a sixth in the middle. As you draw they wear down and reveal other colors, it's literally the coolest coloring tool ever.

I certainly looked up how-tos on this, but I found none of them pointed out what I discovered very fast: don't pulverize them into tiny pieces, and don't put them in the oven for very long. You want the colors to stay distinct to get the multi-shade drawing effect. If it's all crayon dust and they completely liquefy in the oven, they'll melt into each other and make more or less one meh shade of greyish-to-brown. So keep and eye on them and the SECOND there's no solid lumps left, take them out of the oven.

We also put glitter in each mold to make them glitter crayons because THINGS ARE BETTER WITH GLITTER OKAY.

I'm pretty proud of us, we were both sick as hell and still managed to make a hypercolor galaxy of stars.

I still AM sick as hell, so I apologize for rewards coming slow this month, my body has just quit on me on so many levels.

BUT I GOT CRAYONS.

Ingredients

A shit-ton of crayons, broken or otherwise

X-acto knife or other sharp, precise blade

Silicon candy molds (any shape, but the stars easily came out the best.)

Large ziploc bag

A hammer

Glitter (optional) (But is it?)

RAINBOW HULK SMASH

First, the most tedious part, especially if your broken crayon stash is substantial. you have to get allllll the wrappers off.

I recommend splitting wrappers down the side with an x-acto knife or other sharp but not serrated blade. It's just a whole lot faster than picking at it with your fingernails.

Once you have all these NAKED CRAYONS, put them in the ziploc bag, take them outside or to a very hard surface you don't mind whacking pretty hard, and smash crayons with hammer.

BUT. SMASH LIGHTLY. You want chunks, not dust, for aforementioned reasons. You can break them up by hand, too, but the hammer/bag move is faster.

Pre-heat oven to 275.

Combine colors in silicon molds. I tried a lot of different ones and generally enjoyed 2-3 dominant colors plus a sprinkling of smaller pieces in each mold. Generally fill the mold completely, a little overflow is fine. If you're doing glitter, tap a little into the empty mold and a little on top of the crayon pieces to make sure it doesn't just float on the top.

Bake at 275 for 5 minutes. Check often and remove as soon as there are no solid chunks left. Do not overbake, the colors will muddy.

Remove very carefully so as not to spill, this shit is lava. Leave on countertop to cool completely, about 10 minutes, then pop out of the molds. I'd wait another half hour before you draw with them, just to make sure they aren't at all soft anymore.

LIVE A BEAUTIFUL RAINBOW STAR GLITTER LIFE.