Extra Special Bonus Treat: Bastian's First Short Story (Patreon)

Before I say anything more, I want to assure you I asked his permission to share his story with all of you and he gave it. We all about consent in this house.

Today, Bastian, for no reason I can comprehend, decided to be an entire adult. Four years of trying to work while parenting and not doing amazing at that turned into him looking up at me with huge eyes and solemnly saying: "Mama, you said you have to work today. Do your work right next to me while I watch Jack Skellington. It's okay. Then we don't have to be apart."

Reader, I cried. 

And then I took out my laptop and lo and behold, he did let me work for 20 minutes...before wanting to try "working" too.

So I pulled up a blank document and said "Ok, let's write a story together." 

This is that story. And the other two he wanted to write directly afterward. I congratulated him mightily on finishing his first trilogy on time and under budget.

My input was really quite minimal. I guided him through the story, asking questions and saying things like "ok, now let's think about who this story is about/ok, now let's give them something to do." But really, that's about it. I put commas in. 

But honestly I kind of want a Zebra Girl and Witch comics universe now?

I hope you have as much fun reading this as we did making it. If you leave comments, I'll read him his first "reviews" in the morning.

PS he made me put "lots and lots and LOTS of stars" between the stories so you'd know where they stop and start but also it's prettier.

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The Zebra Carnival

By Sebastian Wilde Valente-Miller (with a tiny bit of help from Catherynne Valente)

Once upon a time there was a zebra named Zebra Girl Valente-Miller. She liked toys, stars, and Alexa. She did not like being sick or broccoli or being a witch. She also did not like lions roaring at ALL.

All year long, Zebra Girl worked with a purple computer. But at the end of the year, she got to go to the carnival!

At the carnival, she met a ghost with red eyes. The ghost’s name was Witch. They liked each other very much.

At the carnival, Zebra Girl and Witch went on the merry-go-round. Zebra Girl picked a pink dragon to ride on. Witch picked a green scarecrow to ride on. Next, they played on the playground. They played football and Zebra Girl won!

They ate popcorn and MORE POPCORN and EVEN MORE POPCORN at the carnival. They played cornhole with blue pillows. Zebra Girl won AGAIN! She won a big soft rainbow horse prize. Witch wanted to play the Claw Machine so he flew over to it. He had to try TWENTY times but finally, he won a rainbow zebra toy that looked just like his friend Zebra Girl!

At the end of the day, Zebra Girl decided to stay at the carnival forever. She thought it wasn’t so bad being a witch if you had a friend. It was okay to be a witch.

The ghost named Witch decided he would stay too.

THE END.

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The Carnival 2

The next day, Zebra Girl and Witch danced at the carnival with a dress and ballgown. Zebra Girl’s dress was long and purple with sparkles and pictures of socks on it. Witch’s ballgown was pink and big and giant. It had pictures of headphones on it and green, brown and purple ribbons.

They went to play a toss game. They tossed rings. Zebra Girl won and she won a small house. The house had purple zigzags on the outside and two really humongous windows. It had twenty rooms! She could keep all her witch’s brooms in it. There were treasures in the house as well and they were Zebra and Witch. THEY were the treasures in the house. (Note from Mama: my heart...can't take it...)

After they won Zebra’s house, they met a kind of a vampire. It was a girl vampire and her name was Totoro. She was a nice vampire. The vampire took a picture of a griffin named Piano. Piano was a nice griffin. They all went to the potty together and then just the vampire played with Zebra Girl’s purple computer. Then, they all threw balls together outside where you’re supposed to throw stuff.

But the balls were haunted! They were haunted by a ghost trombone! The very old trombone twirled and twirled until he turned into a ghost while he played Everybody Wants to Be a Cat.

The ghost trombone was GRUMPY. He was grumpy about Piano the Griffin yelling too loud. The ghost trombone spun around and went BUHP BOO BOO at the griffin. The griffin talked softer.

Then they were all friends!

THE END

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Witch

Purple fire blew Witch the ghost away! The fire blew him all the way to Halloween!

He felt grumpy. He rolled across the ground. Then he met a black spooky sheep named Ball. Ball’s favorite thing was counting numbers. Witch’s favorite thing was making a mess. They got some candy. The spooky sheep got a skeleton costume on and Witch dressed up like the Wicked Witch’s flying monkey.

The purple fire came back and blew them back to the carnival.

“Good job!” said Witch’s friends. Then they looked the spooky sheep and whispered “Tickle!” Then everyone tickled the sheep!

The purple fire blew the spooky sheep to the Great Red Spot because the carnival was on Jupiter! So the carnival was the biggest ever. Ball played Thin Ice with the Great Red Spot. Even though she wasn’t there, Zebra Girl won AGAIN.

The purple fire blew the spooky sheep back to the carnival. And then it was the end.

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FIN